Heston and his cooking? Its not for making at home is it?

[SPsWouldCatFishNev]

I'm watching him make pizza. He wants tomatoes cooked for 4 hours. More tomatoes cooked, pressure cooked then left in a fridge for hours. Leave dough for 24 hours then add more stuff to it. Oh and travel to Italy for tomatoes, don't forget that.

Now he is making a barbecue pizza maker with a fan!

Can you imagine cooking tea using his ways?

You would have to start the week before

Then he says 'in under 2 minutes my perfect pizza'

No! It was days!

I get distracted watching him cook. I start wondering whether I could use a DVD player to cook pancakes and all that.
DP wants to be allowed to use a blow torch in the kitchen

LOL use dvd player to cook the pancakes.

It's like when he cooks chips 3 times… wtf is wrong with once?

He is doing a fish pie now. He is talking about having stress free sea food.

He annoys me intensely. I was very disappointed with his hidden clementine pudding.

I haven't actually tried anything he has made.

DP wants to be allowed to use a blow torch in the kitchen

How do you operate without one?

Aside from the obvious crisping of the sugar on a supermarket creme brulee, they're perfect for peeling peppers and tomatoes.

I tried one of those silly Lakeland "cook's blowtorch" things which have to be refilled with lighter fuel and aren't powerful enough for real use anyway, but now I just use a cheap one from B&Q screwed onto a disposable cartridge. Searing tuna. Crisping the top of a shepherd's pie. Improving bananas and apples with a bit of caramelised sugar (sprinkle on, blowtorch, eat).

I seen a recipe I don't fancy without time and a spare meal in case it goes wrong: frozen steak, which you sear on the outside with a blowtorch and then cook in a low oven until defrosted and done. Timings are probably hit and miss, and an accurate thermometer is going to be necessary.

I used to hate him but now I like him. But you're right OP. Is he trying to pretend we can all do that?

kyrptonite MIL bought us a cooking blow torch . I don't know what got into her. She's normally very sensible. My heart was in my mouth every time DH used it. He didn't burn the house down but he kept burning things under the guise of caramelising them.

I'm pretty good at making pork crackling. But when we got the blow torch DH insisted on taking over crackling duty.

He'd blast the raw pork so the skin would be black and stank of burned flesh and wouldn't listen when I told him that's not the way you make crackling. Then when the thing was cooked he'd deny that the skin was ruined and would just munch away at it.

Thank God when the gas canister ran out he cba to get a new one.

He has bubbled on top of his fish pie

I do actually like Heston and like his shows but this one is strange. A squirrel cage so you can smoke fish at home? 2 days and a trip to Italy to make pizza?

Defeats the point of making a pizza if you're going to Italy anyway. After all they are supposed to be pretty good at making them

If I went to Italy the last thing I would be looking for would be tomatoes.

I'd be sitting eating pizza made there

I made his spaghetti bolognese recipe once, I took 3 days, no exaggeration. It was okay, dh thought it was average, but my dad and brothers thought it was the best they'd ever eaten.

Even if it was that great I wouldn't make it again, too much hard work and full of butter!

3 days?! Did you have to nip to Italy?

I probably could have flown to Italy with the amount I spent on ingredients! I was pregnant at the time, stupid hormones making me waste money on spag bol.

How did it take 3 days? Was it the tomatoes and dough?

Anyone been to his restaurant?

I love Heston. Entertaining cooking programme with no pressure to try and replicate at home. Jamie and Nigella just make me feel inadequate but Heston - no one could seriously expect you to do that, right?

Barb He says he makes things so people at home can do them. You get it step by step. Takes days!

The one that really annoys me is ottolenghi- lovely filming of food, fresh, delicious- wtf do you get blue basil or Cobb nuts in Scotland on a Wednesday in winter? So fed up with all these lifestyle type cooks, it's so gorgeous, etc, yeah when you're in lake como it is, here it's bloody grey and freezing!

Heston is the biggest Blow torch weilding, vacuum cleaner cake making, "lets lick the wallpaper it tastes ofprawns", Wank Badger in the whole wide world!
I don't see why people think he is so special, my kids have been making toast in the VCR for years!

Anyone else laughing at visions of friday wielding her blow torch?
She's going to be on AIBU 'to want to cook a sunday roast with B&Q blow torch'?!

MrsDavidBowie your post made me snort with laughter!

I bought DH a blow torch last year as he is partial to a creme brulee. I spend my whole time hiding it from ds2 who is a bit of a pyro.

I made his 48hour slow rib of beef. The house smelt wonderful for the first 4 hours. When I woke the next morning to the smell of beef fat I felt quite ill. Another 36 hours before we got to try it and I couldn't even stomach cutting and serving it on the plate. Thats £75 worth of beef wasted.

It was the 'roast chicken with crispy skin' that got me. It involved hours outside in a brine tub, deep frying and a blow torch.....

He's entertaining to watch, but a few sandwiches short of a picnic. And not a patch on Paul Hollywood.

I trained as a chef. I cant abide this whole science food crap! Liquid nitrogen and flipping hoovers have no place in food. It drives me bonkers!