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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with my 10yo dd

52 replies

wontletmesignin · 20/11/2013 08:03

Before 6am this morning...she had decided to go and wake my 9yo ds up. He shares a room with a 5 and 3yo.
She has been told off for this many, many times before. She seemed to have stopped it and everyone was getting proper sleep.

But this morning, i was woke up to banging off the younguns running around the landing. Screamig and giggling. While dd and ds were playing CARDS!...In the dark!!!!

They left the baby gate open! The littleuns running around the landing in the dark! Its laminate at the bottom of the stairs, but under that its concrete!

Aibu to be a big pissed off with this?
They have all been told several times that until MY alarm clock goes off - it is NOT wake up time. My dd especially knows this as i have been here with her many times!

So now they are all going to school tired, and i have my yougest off nursery poorly, so no doubt he is going to feel worse today due to extra added tiredness!

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 20/11/2013 08:10

To top it off - the walls in these houses are paper thin. So the neighbours were probably woken up with the screaming, banging and giggling too

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2013 · 20/11/2013 08:19

YANBU - at 10 she is old enough to follow instructions!

What time do you set your alarm for? Any possibility of getting her an alarm for her room and setting it so she 'knows' not to get up before she hears it?

Also with the baby gate - is it on their bedroom door?

Can you fit one to the top of your stairs as an extra safety measure?

ShawnSpencer · 20/11/2013 08:23

DD is old enough to know better. But does she feel lonely with the other 3 sharing a room? Could the 9 year old share her room? So 2 in each room.

Also why does a 5 yo and a 3 yo need a baby gate. I would have thought by that age they would know about stairs.

lljkk · 20/11/2013 08:23

Tell me the baby gate isn't for the 3yo.

RevengeWiggle · 20/11/2013 08:24

YANBU, at 10 years old she's old enough to know better, but so is the 9 year old. Can he be persuaded to ignore her?

Groovee · 20/11/2013 08:27

YANBU, at 10 she is old enough to know better. Maybe she needs to read or something which doesn't disturb the rest of the household if she wakes up early.

Kyrptonite · 20/11/2013 08:27

Can your 5&3 year olds not work stairs?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 20/11/2013 08:29

I set my alarm for 6:30. Which is usually fine.
No, dd room is too small and the other 3 are all boys. She prefers her own space and would die at the thought of having to share lol.

The baby gate is because of the banister on the stairs. I worry a lot. If they were to climb onto the banister and fall, they wouldnt stand a chance. As i mentioned its concrete under the laminate, and the drop is straight to the bottom of the stairs.

I may be ott but im not prepared to risk that.
They know abouf the stairs. Its the banister. I used to climb over my dps when i was a child. When i think back i could have killed myself!

Good idea with the alarm in her room. I will definitely do that and explain cobsequences will be in place if she wakes the boys up before that!

She has imrpoved on her time. It used to be 3am and the likes when she would wake up the house!

OP posts:
Kyrptonite · 20/11/2013 08:30

How is a baby gate stopping them climbing the bannister? Surely the gate goes at the top of the stairs and the bannister runs along the landing?

Original poster
wontletmesignin · 20/11/2013 08:31

Yes my 9yo is no better. He has been told many times before. He used to tell her to get out and go back to bed and that worked. But it has been a while since she has done it!

I havent said much to them this morning. Told them i was annoyed at the fact i thought we were over this, but didnt take it much further

OP posts:
Original poster
wontletmesignin · 20/11/2013 08:32

The baby gate is on their bedroom, not the stairs

OP posts:
sparklysilversequins · 20/11/2013 08:34

I think you can have a baby gate if you want to and shouldn't have to explain it on here! I understand your reasoning. Why do people get so fastened on irrelevant details?

Don't know about your dd. I usually take away screen time and pocket money here and that's pretty effective.

RevengeWiggle · 20/11/2013 08:37

Could she go to bed a bit later at night or would that disrupt the others?

You don't need to explain yourself, if you think you need a baby gate then have a baby gate. People judge everything on MN

Kyrptonite · 20/11/2013 08:38

I was just confused as to how you could stop them going on the bannister. DS does something similar at DMs

gamerchick · 20/11/2013 08:40

If she doesn't want to share her room you have a threat.

Next time she does it you're getting bunk beds.

sparklysilversequins · 20/11/2013 08:45

I suppose it's lovely they get on so well but I guess it's hard to see the positives at 6 in the morning.

ShawnSpencer · 20/11/2013 08:46

I would be having stern words with all 4 -

Eldest fine if you can't sleep but you stay in your own room and play solitaire (after you said they were playing cards) or if your that desperate to see your brother we will be getting bunk beds and he will be sleeping in your room.

9 year old if your sister comes in again you tell her to go back to her room and you ignore her, you do not get up to play with her.

5 year old if your older siblings wake up you are to remain in this room and you do not scream and shout.

3 year old ditto to 5 year old.

Baby gate is lazy parenting at this age, if its dangerous to climb on the banisters then you instill in them that they do not do it it. But I see that if you can't "control" a 10 year old to stay in their own room, then making sure a 5 year old doesn't do what you don't want them to do a baby gate is the answer.

Nanny0gg · 20/11/2013 08:47

I havent said much to them this morning. Told them i was annoyed at the fact i thought we were over this, but didnt take it much further

Well, I'd be taking it a lot further when they get home from school!

No excuse at her age at all.

Nanny0gg · 20/11/2013 08:48

Baby gate is lazy parenting at this age,

Nonsense. Not with a three year-old it's not.

ILoveAFullFridge · 20/11/2013 08:49

But would it be fair on the other child made to share her room, if they are woken early by her? It would not solve the problem, and she could 'get her own back' by waking the share-ee. Far better, I think, to get her her own alarm clock and explain clear and personal consequences to breaking the rule. Does she have an activity that she values, or a phone or toy that could be confiscated for the day on which she breaks the rule?

Re the stair gate and banisters: we have banisters with horizontal bars, and a dc3 who was climbing hem like a ladder before he could even walk, so I totally get your point, OP! We screwed thin sheets of ply (or MDF or something wood like and cheap) over the landing side of the bannister. It was virtually unnoticeable, but prevented climbing. We left them up until we redecorated when dc3 was 6.

ShawnSpencer · 20/11/2013 08:51

www.lindam.com/faqs.html

The makers of stair gates recommend they are removed by 24 months - therefore more than 12 months later I see it as being lazy.

Nanny0gg · 20/11/2013 08:57

ShawnSpencer I clearly can't read. Where does it say they should be removed?

Says 'suitable up to 24 months'. Doesn't mean must be removed.

And with some children, you can 'instil' behaviour all you like. Doesn't mean they'll always obey.

schokolade · 20/11/2013 09:00

It doesn't matter one jot if you think it's lazy ShawnSpencer. The OP knows the layout of her house and what her DC are like, you do not. She didn't ask for opinions on the stair gate.

RevengeWiggle · 20/11/2013 09:03

Why is this turning into an argument about stairgates? Does it really matter to you if she uses one?

NoComet · 20/11/2013 09:11

We had a stair gate until it finally fell down when DD was about 6.

Simply because it's possible to fall down the steps from DDs room and then down the main stairs trying to get up as the hall is so narrow.

Also DD2 was prone to wander about still a sleep and turn the wrong way especially if she'd climbed in with us or she was in her sisters room.

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