school shoes aibu (prepared to be told I am)

[frangipan]

My son started secondary school this year, in line with the uniform policy which states ' black, preferably leather, shoes with non slip soles' I bought him these
www.amazon.co.uk/Pod-Felix-Older-Casual-School/dp/B00E4NIFBU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1384879250&sr=8-3&keywords=pod+boys+shoes so far so good, uniform was checked and passed off in the first week.

They fell apart after the first half term, walking, bus ride, heavy rain etc. The soles peeled away and the facing came away. We did glue them together so they would make it to half term.

so in half term we bought some more expensive better quality shoes

www.amazon.co.uk/Vans-Black-Leather-Trainers-UK/dp/B006EIU2YG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1384879462&sr=8-2&keywords=black+leather+vans

we used permanent marker and blacked out the logo flash. They are black leather shoes with non slip soles. They have told us the new pair are not acceptable and that we have a week to buy new ones and that the original one were not suitable. We argued that our DS (if I do say so myself) is always clean and smart looking and that the shoes are in accordance with uniform policy. The school still say they are not appropriate. I honestly didn't buy them for the brand and bought them on the premise that they were similar to the original pair that no one had commented on for eight weeks.DS has canvas versions for casual wear and I knew they would fit and be comfortable. Can they really force us to buy more shoes by punishing DS??? new to all this so all help much appreciated.

The school sent him into isolation this morning for uniform breach. No one contacted me.

I think the distinction between appropriate styles is definitely blurred at primary level as clarks and startrite both make old style school shoes but also ones that are much more trainer style but still marketed as school shoes. I haven't got to need senior school shoes yet so don't know if it's still the same there. But whilst my heart sinks when they are shown to my ds, they fit them much better than the other old style ones and I would much prefer them to have comfortable feet!

Being fussy about school shoes is definitely not a new thing. When I was at school a few 30 years ago, we were given the style names of the shoes we had to have for indoors and outdoors - one Clarks and one Startrite style for yrs 7-9 and another for years 10 and above.

My dsis had big feet for her age and got to a point about yr 9 where her feet were too big for either the junior or senior styles allowed so my mum had to buy the closest thing she could and poor dsis ended up with some very granny-ish shoes that fitted her. There were a couple of bullies teachers who used to pull her up on not having regulation shoes all the time. I get that they would pull her up the first time as they were Gorgon's when it came to spotting the wrong shoes but surely once she had explained that they hadn't specified any shoes that fit her so she was stuck with the ones she had or nothing (and they really were not trendy or rule breaking in the slightest!) they shouldn't keep picking on her!!! She was already more than self conscious about her big feet. And it's hardly like her feet were going to decrease in size so she would once again fit into regulation shoes.

Oh and I'm not sure that, while the shoes fit the technical definition of the school's specification, I wouldn't be buying new ones until these ones wear out.

If they chose to rewrite their shoe requirements for the next year and bring it to the attention of the parents with plenty of notice beforehand, then fine. But if they wanted to force it beforehand I would be complaining to the governors and / or LEA.

I think both pairs are acceptable; although I would never buy them myself as they look like they wouldn't last 5 minutes.

School dress should be reasonably smart but I think here the school are just nit-picking. They wanted black leather footwear and you supplied smart(ish) black leather shoes, I can't see the problem. If they object to 'brand' shoes then they should clearly say so in the policy and NOT after you have already bought the things.

YANBU

YANBU. I can't see anything wrong with them.

They look like fashion trainers to me. Buy a pair of school shoes and move on.

When did it get so crazy with uniform policy it's insane,I dread sending my children to school.

these last for ages
If you're needing any suggestions

Good luck with your shopping Frangipan

The school are being ridiculous.

But at the same time I would never have bought either of those pairs as school shoes. Get thee to Clarks like every other parent and teach your child how to conform. (School like those who conform, I find)

The shoes thing is a side issue.

I NEED to know if newtridley was paraphrasing Joey of Friends when she said it was a bit "moo".

Frangipan: Is the school strict in all areas of uniform?
eg: girl's skirt length?

I'm just wondering whether you'd get away with buying different laces? That is what makes those shoes look more like trainers.

But I agree, the way British schools go on about uniform is absolutely ludicrous. It seems to me that schools should focus on what they're there for, and uniform should be directed to that purpose. So long as it's comfortable and practical, that's all that's needed. There is simply no need for stiff, uncomfortable blazers, expensive shirts with logos on, insistence on girls wearing skirts, and all the rest of it.

Ds has a strong aversion to wearing things with long sleeves, hence he hates wearing his school sweatshirt, and usually just wears his polo shirt complete with school logo. The school likes to insist that all pupils wear sweatshirts a lot of the time, presumably because they think they're smarter. However, I can't for the life of me see why he should be made to wear something which makes him feel hot, constricted and uncomfortable: he is there to learn and to work, not to look smart.

Those shoes are black leather shoes as specified, and are perfectly sensible and functional. They're not extreme, they're not too casual, and they really don't justify taking the unfortunate owner out of lessons.

I wouldn't have bought the first pair because they look like they'll last all of about five minutes, especially with everyday wear and a lot of walking.

I certainly would not have classed Vans as school shoes and they would not have been accepted at the school my DSes went to.

I understand what people say about shoes, hairstyles, blazers and earrings don't affect learning, but if you decide send your DC to a particular school then, in my mind, you agree to abide by the uniform policy.

My DS2 who has wide feet with a high instep had black brogues from Next last year.

They'd be fine in my secondary school - I would even say they were smart. Our pupils can wear plain black shoes or trainers. They are smarter than most of the black trainers that adorn the feet of my pupils.

The kids seem to work just as hard regardless of what's on their feet.

you don't always get the school you want and if the uniform is particular about the style of footwear then it really needs to be done in pictures for easy reference

you know, some of the replies really come across as if I am complaining about the shoe policy. I am not, that is clear on my OP. My decision to buy the original shoes has been explained and their acceptance by the school led me to purchase the others based on that. I have no problem buying clarks or startrite, indeed DD wears startrite and only startrite. I did struggle over the summer to find shoes that were wide enough and didn't slip off, the pods were the best of a bad bunch and APPROVED by school. My question was, can the school based on this, force us to buy more shoes and punish DS if we don't?

DS is now the proud owner of these www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/4,85/1475900078

and I have a new handbag (birthday money)

However it is all really irrelevant now as my sister in law has just phoned to say that my mother in law , recently diagnosed after being ill for months, with cancer of the oesophagus has been taken in to hospital and they are trying to find her a bed in a hospice as it looks pretty bleak, bad times ahead

any way, thank you for all of your opinions and input, much appreciated .

Really sorry to hear about your MIL, OP.

But I have a nasty feeling the school will hate the Doc Martens also.

Thanks nennypops. I have the Assistant head of house mobile number (T1 Diabetic DS) so took a photo in the shop and sent it for approval, it has been approved AHoH is actually very lovely. As I said, pales in to insignificance now.

So sorry to hear about your MIL.

Best wishes for the days ahead

Tictoc.

Well spotted

So sorry to hear your awful news op.

For the record I was going to say fgs, the school are being pathetic but see that the situation has been resolved!

They look like shoes to me.

The school need to concentrate on things that matter.

So sorry to hear about your MIL - I hope they can find a bed for her soon.