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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not just want to sit in one room all day??!

39 replies

curiousgeorgie · 19/11/2013 15:27

It's freezing. (As I'm sure you know!) I have a 3 year old who just got out of hospital with awful flu and respiratory infection, and a nearly 5 month old who is very moody at the best of times..

I want the heating on. Whacked up so it's nice in here.. Not just barely on.

DH says no, the three of you can stay in the living room and if need be put the fire on for 10 minutes to warm it up as that's much cheaper than heating.

AIBU? Seriously, my baby's hands feel like ice and I don't see why we should just sit in the living room. I need arguments for DH.. (Who is in a toasty warm office miles away.)

OP posts:
QuietNinjaTardis · 19/11/2013 15:29

If he's not even there then put it on. I'm a bit Hmm that he says no when your 3 year old has been ill.

MooncupGoddess · 19/11/2013 15:30

Unless you're on the breadline then I'd just whack it up and not tell your DH. Especially given your 3-year-old's health problems.

danone · 19/11/2013 15:30

Looking at it from both sides, wouldn't your DC be mainly in the living room during the day anyway?

Queenofknickers · 19/11/2013 15:30

Put it on!!! How dare he? Your baby has been ill FFS!!!!!!!! Totally justified in putting heating on - ask him to cut down on something else instead.

DaddyPigsMistress · 19/11/2013 15:31

Put heating on.

Its your home too why does he get to dictate when it goes on. If he whinges tell him to piss off

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/11/2013 15:32

YANBU. Is there a particular reason he is being so cruel? Is money very tight? I'd put it on anyway btw

ChinUpChestOut · 19/11/2013 15:32

Do you need permission? You're there, he's not and you're in the best position to make a judgement call on the best thing to do.

Put the heating on. You can't risk either of your DCs being in a cold draught every time you open the living room door.

It's not for discussion. And no, YADNBU.

basgetti · 19/11/2013 15:32

Why do you have to argue your right to have heating on to keep your children warm? Tell him to fuck off.

Snatchoo · 19/11/2013 15:33

Unless you are absolutely on the breadline and he manages all the money, then I don't even know why you are having a conversation about it.

It's your and your children's house too, you are in it, he isn't. Turn it up. Turn it up high and take all your clothes off.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 19/11/2013 15:33

Why did you even ask permission? Confused It would t occur to me to ask to put the heating on in my own home.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/11/2013 15:33

Danone, my DD1 is laying on the sofa and I'm trying to make her have a sleep, so I want to take the baby in the kitchen / playroom so we don't disturb her too much.

And if she perks up she'll want to play in her playroom / draw in the kitchen. This is annoying.

OP posts:
Arcadian · 19/11/2013 15:33

Why does DH get the final say? Surely marriage is a partnership of joint decisions.

If you are managing fine financially, whack it on.
It's the best decision to make, right now, for your kids. Tough that he wasn't there to be involved with the decision making process!

If he gets arsy about having not asked him - tell him you made tons of choices and didn't ask him today. Should you have rang him at work to discuss what the kids would be having for lunch?

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 19/11/2013 15:34

YADNBU He's being an arse.

DrivingToDistraction · 19/11/2013 15:34

I'd have to put a padlock on the door to keep DS in one room all day - I think he's played in nearly every room in the house today. I wouldn't ask permission to put the heating on - also I find it a false economy, as heating the rest of the house from a colder temperature will take longer and cost more. In my experience, keeping the bones of the house at a halfway decent temperature where you can means it heats up much more efficiently later.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/11/2013 15:36

I wouldn't usually! I put it on yesterday as usual when he was working from home and he went mad about how expensive heating is. We're not on the breadline and not rich either, he just likes to be careful with money.

It wouldn't usually occur to me to check but he really got pissed off about the 'waste'.

(Another argument is don't leave the radio on for the dog when you go out. Surely I'm not the only one who does that?)

OP posts:
zatyaballerina · 19/11/2013 15:37

Unless you're very poor and genuinely can't afford it, your husband is being very unreasonable Comfort is important. Put the heating on.

AnotherWorld · 19/11/2013 15:39

Bollocks to him. Put the heating on.

Although him having "gone mad" yesterday is ringing some alarm bells. Is he usually very controlling?

ilovesooty · 19/11/2013 15:40

My mum used to leave the radio on for the budgie.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/11/2013 15:40

No, he's lovely. He's just very much his mothers son when it comes to money! Wink

OP posts:
fairylightsintheautumn · 19/11/2013 15:41

don't ask. Do it. Put the rads in the bedrooms on low if you feel you should but that's it. How is keeping your wife and children warm in winter "a waste?" Twat.

jammiedonut · 19/11/2013 15:46

It is expensive and it might be useful to start getting in the habit of only heating the rooms you're in BUT save that for when your child has recovered! Dh wouldn't dream of telling me I couldn't put the heating on. Make him have a cold shower tomorrow. Tell him it is too expensive to heat the water! Ds and I pretty much stay in the same room all day as I like to air the bedrooms out during the day (and there's no way in hell I'm sitting in a room with an open window in this weather!) but if either he or I were ill I'd have them shut and heating on elsewhere.

purrtrillpadpadpad · 19/11/2013 15:48

My DH is like this, like because he's currently the one earning a salary means he can also decide how it's spent. Irritating but mostly something I ignore. I'm careful with money, I don't need a husband acting like my parent and telling me to go put another layer on. I put the heating on if it's cold, end of.

Tell him to do one. You're not his staff, you're his equal. Go mad at him for daring to suggest he is the authority on what temperature is suitable for three other people. Who the fuck does that. Twat.

Melonbreath · 19/11/2013 15:49

Yabu to you for listening to him. Turn the heating on and raise him your middle finger

CuriosityCola · 19/11/2013 15:51

Yanbu. It's not a waste if it's keeping you warm. Warm clothes and slippers and heating as needed. What rooms do you have to heat?

I keep the bathroom radiators off and the upstairs off during the day. With a 2 year old and 5 month old we have been in a similar situation to you this week. I may also be having roast potatoes tonight just to give the kitchen a heating boost Wink

squoosh · 19/11/2013 15:53

The bloody cheek, tell him to knob off.