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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have banned all computer gaming/ipad/DS during week

70 replies

SirSugar · 18/11/2013 20:13

DS is 7, he can play on weekends only. He is exhibiting addictive behaviour/whinging and has low boredom threshold.

We have loads of books/lego and creative stuff - I paint/sew/knit etc.

I think I'm doing him a favour - he's finding it difficult but we have only just started.

OP posts:

ChippyMinton · 19/11/2013 11:01

Tricky one. I occasionally have a hissy fit and hide the XBox, or make the DC hand over their phones. They are pretty good though, and do plenty of activities, get on with homework etc.

XBox Live is an interesting one, as they socialise with friends on-line, playing games or making videos together to post on YouTube. So it's hard to ban that.

BadLad · 19/11/2013 11:13

SiL won't let my nephews have any screen time. She might get them a tablet for educational purposes, but she is determined that they will never has games consoles.

Sometimes I imagine the day I move out. I'll take them into our living room (that DW and I share) and show them that all the time there was a massive collection of award-winning games under their noses.

mitchsta · 19/11/2013 12:05

YANBU.

WowOoo · 19/11/2013 12:25

Yanbu.

Mine would be on Minecraft 24/7 if I let him.
As he's used to the idea, he now finds other things to do - though this took a while of him moaning and saying 'can I just have 10 minutes..?'
So, hang in there! You may find he doesn't get used to the idea too quickly. Stick to your guns.

Mine also knows that if there's any bad behaviour that his precious weekend screen time gets cut back. He was badly behaved and then very upset about his ban last weekend.(I'd warned him plenty of times.) I hope for all our sakes that he's well behaved this week.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 19/11/2013 12:30

great idea, keep it up. I used to work with schools and one headteacher had a boy who was very hard to teach, he was badly behaved, aggressive and a bit hyper. One of the things suggested to parents who were tearing their hair out over it all was to cut out game time on gadgets.... within a week he was a different child. good luck, sure it will be worth it.

SillyOldHector · 19/11/2013 12:36

My boys work hard at school so they can do what they like in the evening as long as homework is done, bed time observed without whingeing etc.

Their days are packed with activity and regulation at school so why not have a break in the evenings.

I'm certainly wouldn't stop myself watching Homeland after 20 mins to ensure I do something creative like knit a scarf or teach myself Mandarin.

Saminthemiddle · 19/11/2013 12:42

I think it all depends on the age of the child because some posters are mentioning 7 and 9 year olds not being allowed ipads and xboxes/computers during the week. I think that is fair enough but try telling that to a 14 or 16 year old! My teenagers are allowed on their screens until 8.30pm weekdays (perhaps an hour, two max) once homework is done and then sometimes up until 11pm on a saturday when they get together with friends. They do sport, after school activities and their grades are fine. However, if their marks slip, then I say no games for a few days. But I agree it can be a problem and it is not easy for parents to police. My DS never bothered with his xbox until he was 12, he was constantly outside but now he is 14 it has changed and it is a worry as he is definitely not as fit as he used to be.

Dededum · 19/11/2013 12:52

Another one who thinks banning screen time is a bit over the top and ultimately self defeating.

My boys (10&12) have a lot of internet freedom, don't watch much TV, they play minecraft, Skype their mates while playing. DS1 does a lot of reading on the computer on how to do stuff on Minecraft. They watch videos on utube.

Our kids are unlikely to be booker prize winners but they are likely to work in environments where computer skills are required. Yesterday my husband was on a conference call with a group of colleagues in the study and my boys were on a 'conference call' next door working together to achieve something on minecraft.

Yes, my eldest is definitely a bit computer addicted (very good with computers, interested in java etc...) but he now does hs homework on the computer. I can't stand over him and say your allotted 1.5 hours of screen time is over now you must do your homework. Yr 8 is a good time for him to learn some skills / screw up his homework..

CairoPrankster · 19/11/2013 19:28

I wouldn't have any problem with how long DS is on the PC IF I believed that he did all of his homework and chores to the best of his ability, however what I am finding with the rule that he can go on it once everything else is done is that the chores are done but slap dash and his homework is finished in record time and illegible (yes I do let him use the PC to right longer essays but even then he puts zero effort into them).
He then announces that he is finished and can he go on minecraft now?
I don't have time to micromanage his homework and anyway he is 13 and I shouldn't have to- but I do have to because it is suffering so that he can get on minecraft and skype ASAP.
Last night tipped me over the edge because he announced that he wasn't hungry and didn't want supper purely because he believed that he would be let onto the PC sooner if he skipped tea.
He is currently exhibiting classic withdrawal symptoms but I have not banned TV.

Original poster

SirSugar · 19/11/2013 20:25

we had an hour of attempted negotiation, laying on the floor writhing in agony with 'my life is over/ruined/terrible'. An incident of falling over whilst spinning around with the washing basket on his head - tears.

He then turned his attention to finding out what after school clubs there are from a letter in his school bag, chatting to me then asking for another two chapters of a story he flatly refused earlier unless I let him watch videos.

The hour of TV allowed was used up as soon as he got home.

OP posts:

NoComet · 19/11/2013 21:02

Honestly is it worth the fight?
There were no computers until I was 13/14. I still found a million ways to zone out, waste time and avoid HW.

If we had any screen rules, I'm certain they'd last as long as the HTs, water only rule and cause as much whinging.

To be precise, they would be totally ignored and quickly forgotten

TippiShagpile · 19/11/2013 21:13

SirSugar - that sounds awful. I hope things have calmed down now.

Original poster

SirSugar · 19/11/2013 21:13

Yes it is worth the fight.

He is not banned altogether, he can use these gadgets from Friday evening through to sunday. Banned, perhaps was the wrong term; I've restricted usage

He was using them continuously, at every available opportunity, and displaying signs of serious addiction.

OP posts:

TippiShagpile · 19/11/2013 21:15

Agreed. It's a fight you have to have.

I wish you well SirSugar. Sending you lots of virtual support.

Original poster

SirSugar · 19/11/2013 21:19

Tippi, he eventually turned his attention to other things and said he felt much better at bedtime.

I want him to find, for himself, other things to do.

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 19/11/2013 21:21

It's absolutely worth the fight. Since when should a parent just give in over something they feel is right just because they are worried about the fall out?

RosieLig · 19/11/2013 21:25

YAnbu, I've done the same and also banned Tv before school. They are much better behaved and are sleeping in instead of getting up at 6.30 am!

We let them play at weekends but only for a few hours. They definitely get addicted if they play for too long and it leads to really bad behaviour.

I tried self regulating but it was a disaster!

valiumredhead · 19/11/2013 21:34

We've never had TV before school, we'd never leave the house on time!

RosieLig · 19/11/2013 21:45

Valium redhead, I've 3 boys and they were wild, wrestling etc... I used to let them watch tv whilst I got ready...for a peaceful life! They were very early risers too...6am. I'm pleased I've stuck by it as an hour of tv before school isn't ideal!

DziezkoDisco · 22/11/2013 23:13

I agree if mine watch tv in the morning they sre far worse behaved. Dont gbe in to a tantrum or four. Just ignore that.

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