To not take my "turn" this Christmas?

[GogoGobo]

In a nutshell, me and DH have hosted for England over the last decade. Christmas for immediate and extended families, birthdays, NYE dinner parties, Family gatherings etc.

last year, I was very poorly in the 2 months before Christmas so we made the decision to be low key, stay at home with 2 yr old DS and dog.

I bloody LOVED it! The quiet, calm, pleasing ourselves....
SIL stayed at home with her DH and Kids and invited her mum, my lot did their own thing.
Well, this year we are not extending any big invites and are looking to "please" ourselves. My family are fine with this ("dont't blame you") but SIL has said its our "turn" to have mil....problem is twofold. We can't please ourselves if we have MIL and she is definitely te type of person who needs to be diluted by alcohol (me) and a group to make her bearable!

Soooo AIBU to just say we are staying home and not extending an invite to anyone...

OP, you've mentioned that your mil would goto her brother's if she's not invited to your or your sil's house. Surely that's the answer? On the years that you hosted, how many did you cater for?

Thanks kundry glad you are in a good place with your mama
misfitless numbers have varied between 3 guests and 14.
As everyone lives 200 miles away its a 3 day hosting. The year i did 14 we hired a house in Cornwall!
I agree she could go to her brothers but DH and Dsil don't want to suggest it so they sit back and let someone else step up and play thr jolly hostess. This is the first year I've said i don't want to (last year was "I can't ") and Dsil is obviously not happy. The more i am working through this thread the more i think I might talk to her about it, all with the fall back that she can join us for a very low key Xmas day if she do desires

I think you should have a conversation with your SIL about maybe alternating years? But you would not be U to not take her this year, if you had done 11 in a row!

I agree with Shiny.
With the exception of last year (which doesn't really count as you were ill,) you've spent a decade's worth of Christmases doing the lion's share of the work, which has made everyone else's Christmas a whole lot more pleasant and easy.....that's TEN years!

And can I just point out, it's not like you're expecting your SIL to cater for you, your DH and your DC.....no, only her own mother!

I take it all back...hell yes! YAMDBU

Forgot to say, if it's all about the turn-taking, surely it's your sil's turn to invite you, your DH, your DS and your mil...that's my idea of turn-taking!

Could you suggest this, even if you don't want to go....the thought of all that work might make her re-think and take stock...she might think that having only mil is the easier option.

Failing that, put your foot down, after illness last year, and a decade of being the hostess, you have more than earned the right to please yourself this year. And as from next year, take turns - and that means your sister in law inviting you round alternate years (if you'd be happy with that).

Your sister in law has had it so easy for so long thanks to....you!

I think I might just be more wound up about the injustice of all of this than you are OP!