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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be asleep in the hallway

61 replies

HMSDeptford · 17/11/2013 03:19

We have a family member (BIL) staying who has got very very drunk. He's already fallen over, half asleep, into my son's (8 months) bedroom door, waking him (thankfully only briefly) and walked into hallway table, causing quite a crash. I am unable to get back to sleep now and am probably being silly but I am worried for my son having someone so out of control in the house. Currently sleeping outside son's bedroom to guard him (!) but it's not that comfortable! We don't have a monitor as it's a tiny flat. Am I safe going back to bed? PND so inclined to overreact, so please be kind! Husband sound asleep, very heavy sleeper. BIL is gentle kind guy and this is quite out of character.

OP posts:

GiraffesAndButterflies · 17/11/2013 03:23

If BIl is now asleep then he'll likely be comatose till morning. I'd say you're safe to go to sleep. Spy on BIL, if you don't wake him then you know he's out for the count! (And if you do wake him, you were 'checking he's ok' :))

Original poster

HMSDeptford · 17/11/2013 03:25

Have checked, he's definitely asleep! Agh students!! He missed his train home hence why he is here. I'm still worried he might wake up needing loo later

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 03:35

Given that you've gone to the lengths of sleeping in the hallway, YABU to let him in in the first place!

He knew he was stopping at yours, he must have known it would BU to get in the same state he would going to his own home afterwards?

That a baby makes a difference to how you're expected to act?

You're being protective over your little DS, that doesn't sound like PND to me (not that I'm an expert or anything) (have you had any help/support with it?) it's totally OK to act like a tigress with anger issues IMO.

Saying he's a student suggests he's younger? Not that it's any excuse, but is he alright if it's out of character? Why would he choose tonight of all nights to act like that?

If he wakes up needing the loo, get DH to go and stand guard!

GiraffesAndButterflies · 17/11/2013 03:44

If he wakes up later he'll have sobered up a bit. I think you're safe to sleep :)

Original poster

HMSDeptford · 17/11/2013 03:44

Thanks zigzag yes I've had help and I'm fine now, but mentioned PND as feel I can be a bit overprotective of DS so not always sure what is a 'normal' parenting reaction, if you get me.

Yes he's early 20s, I'm 32. He wasnt planning on staying here but got drunker than planned, missed tube I think and husband had to collect him, as we're in central london.

I just worry he might mistake DS room for the loo and wee on him :) - and other ridiculous imaginings! Feel it's safer to stand on guard in case I don't wake up. Pissed off though as we have a christening early tomorrow and I can't sleep now!

OP posts:

froubylou · 17/11/2013 03:50

Can you take baby to bed with you?

Or put something like your pram in front of the babies bedroom door that he would fall over before he got in?

Also leave the hall and bathroom light on so if he does wake up he knows where he is.

Original poster

HMSDeptford · 17/11/2013 03:51

I might try sticking the pram there, thanks for suggestion. Don't want to move DS as he will wake up for sure.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 04:03

MN can sometimes give you the impression that you're being OTT/PFB when you're protective over your baby/older DC, I wouldn't give a rats arse whether someone thought I was doing that, it's one of the few decisions I feel completely comfortable taking (almost angrily so ).

Your DS is relying on that part of your instinct to keep him safe, and once you've thought about your BIL mistaking her room for the loo it's difficult to unthink it.

Hope you can get some better kip now, enjoy the Christening

holidaysarenice · 17/11/2013 04:21

Stick a kitchen chair in front of babies room. Leave the bathroom light on.

Get some sleep!
If ur in the hall he might fall over you! Or wee on you.....!

MiniMonty · 17/11/2013 04:33

YANBU but you are going about this in a very strange way...
Just take the baby to bed.
Sleeping on the floor outside the room is bizarre.
(case solved)

On the plus side I do think you should very carefully and gently shave off one of BIL's eyebrows while he's comatose and simply be wide eyed and amazed about it when he finally wakes up...

"WOW what did YOU get up to last night" ???

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 04:37

Our groups thinking was that if you were pissed enough to not notice things being drawn/piled on you/shaved off, you deserved everything you got

Thankfully it didn't happen that many times, and never to me

D011Y · 17/11/2013 04:47

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sparklysilversequins · 17/11/2013 04:53

She has already said what she thinks might happen. Read the thread.

I'd be worried too OP and agree with Agentzigzag. Anyway hope you're feeling less worried and sleeping by now. Wish I could!

D011Y · 17/11/2013 04:55

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sparklysilversequins · 17/11/2013 04:56

She has PND. Did you bother to read that bit?

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 04:58

This reply has been deleted

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D011Y · 17/11/2013 04:59

And she mentioned that to gain a measure of whether her reaction to her drunk BIL is unreasonable. I say that it is. She asked. I responded.

sparklysilversequins · 17/11/2013 05:02

Yes in quite a nasty way. No need in light of the information given. So how about pushing off somewhere where tired Mums with PND don't come seeking support in the early hours?

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 05:03

You'd be OK with a pissed as a fart bloke stumbling and crashing around near your sleeping like an angel 8 month old D011Y?

I didn't have PND and would have done the same if I felt the need.

D011Y · 17/11/2013 05:08

Actually I apologize to the OP. I overlooked the bit about PND. That is why your responses are OTT. But it is NOT a normal response, despite what sparkly and agentzigzag say. No harm will come.

sparklysilversequins · 17/11/2013 05:13

Well fortunately you're the only one on the thread that thinks that so hopefully the OP will know who to ignore and will feel more confident in following her own instincts. Very important at a time when perception can be skewed. On this occasion it isn't so it's all fine.

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 05:14

You can only say 'no harm will come' retrospectively.

The OP didn't know no harm would come to her baby and she worried about a man who'd already crashed into her baby's door.

That IS a normal response.

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 05:20

Are you into those competitive benign neglect threads D011Y?

Or are you one of the posters who try to humiliate/embarrass people who are worried about DC being left on their own, 'what do you think is going to happen to them? Get abducted by aliens or something? hahahaha'.

I'm very secure in the decisions I take when trying my best to protect my children if I feel they're in a vulnerable position.

D011Y · 17/11/2013 05:27

I have never suffered from PND so I do apologize to the OP for minimizing her concerns. However, I will NOT normalize her irrational behaviors because they are not functional fears, so why give them any headspace?

AgentZigzag · 17/11/2013 05:28

Sorry D011Y, getting a bit snippy with you there.

I might have been a little over protective of the OP and her baby.

Ironically

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