To name my baby same name as my SIL's brothers child?

[CokeAndCrisps]

I have never met her brother or family as they live abroad and have never been introduced to them when they come to visit my brother and his wife. Somehow though,(maybe through my magic crystal ball), I was supposed to know the names of all his children.

Since I told sil what I want to name dd, she's been taking the piss out of the name saying she knows some ugly children with the same name and that my brother has been laughing at how it rhymes with dd1's name, trying to put me off. She also let slip that it's her nieces name, so can't be used again. . She's just trying to make me hate the name so it's not used again.

Today I've been told again how my brother has been laughing at the name and that it's a really popular name now and everyone is using it. I've told her that I don't care, it goes well with my other two children's names and that I like it.

AIBU to name my baby a name that I love and my dd loves too. I feel like if I name her that name I'll be forever looked at as keeping a name to piss off sil.

(There is a long history between sil and I, loads of threads: the sil who told me not to talk to people at a wedding because all the women there were apparently richer than me).

Agree with Loves. Pretend you've changed it but don't. Then tell her to shove her weird name possessiveness up her arse.

Why do you have anything to do with the barking woman?

Good reason not to tell people names you're thinking of. Just announce when it's a fait accompli.

YANBU. No-one owns a name. DS1's godmother called her DS same name - she did ask first but I didn't think she needed to and didn't mind in the least.

Don't talk to her about anything remotely sensitive/that she could get leverage over you with again! And minimal contact where possible. She has too much Form.

Your 'D'B and SIL sound horrible and I'm not surprised her own DB has moved abroad - it's probably to get away from her.

Call your child what you like, we named out son the same as someone else in our family as it was a name we had always planned to use, there was a bit of eyebrow raising but I don't care and glad I did what I wanted now.

How rhyme-y are the names?

Please say "Well we wanted to call her >insert her name< but everyone laughed & said it was frightfully common".

I've been trying to think about people who are the same relation to me as this other child is to you, and can't think whether my SILs have any siblings/ nieces/ nephews at all, certainly I don't know any of their names. My own DS shares a name with my cousin (who we DO see) and it's never caused any issues at all, any more than sharing a name with a school friend would .
If you've put thought into the name, and know that it's what you want then stick with it. I've regretted one of children's names since we went with it, I've also regretted the unusual spelling of another (as no-one, not relatives/ teachers ever get it right!) and I changed one DS2s name after my DF gave me so much grief over my first name choice - tbh I don't regret changing it.

Next time grin and say -'I can't believe you're being so nasty about the name of your own brother's child. Do you not get on with him?'

I bet she is jealous because she loves the name, but can't ever use it because her brother already has. You using the name as well has tipped the green-eyed monster over the edge.

Thanks everyone.

I only meet her for family's sake. I don't think my brother has picked fun at the name, I can't trust sil's words.

I can't say the name as it would out me. It's an Arabic name. It doesn't rhyme completely like Bill and Jill, but all three names begin with vowels and dd1's letters can be rearranged to make dd2's name.

I feel guilty and bad for keeping a name for dd now. She's ruined that nice feeling you get when you name your baby.

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know my sil's siblings childrens names.

She thinks I'm lying and that I knew their names. I have no idea why I was supposed to know their names or be interested in what they named their kids. I'm not related to them, how or why would I know?

Coke Tell her to do one and keep with your choice, i dont know the name of my BIL's 3 brothers children. I've only met them once, so how would i know.

Op is your brother a rude twat?

If not then shes making it up your brother has not been taking the piss out of the name, only a rude twat would take the piss out if his nieces name.

She has no say, why on earth do you still give her the time of day OP? Use the name if you love it.

Say that your partner wanted to call the dd your SIL's name but you said no because you thought it was an awful name (just like her). That will wipe the smile off her face!

Loving the advice to 'just stop seeing them'.

I'm guessing the op has to see them as they are in her family and doesn't want to start a major family argument if possible. As is the situation for most people surely.

If you've never even met these people you can call your baby this name. I can see why people get a bit uppity if cousins are called the same name but not in your case. I'd avoid your brother and sil and any other relatives who make life difficult. Which is probably most of them

YANBU

Next time your sil starts just tell her "Your stupid, immature behaviour is just making me more determined to use that name." so do fuck off theres a dear

Regardless of your sil & her charming response, if you want the name for your child use. I have cousins with the same name, infact 3 different sets of them ifyswim - damn those Josephs & Michaels. It happens quite a lot where I am.

My mum always wanted to call my sister a particular name, my dad's sister (are we all keeping up ) had a baby 3 months before & used "the name". My mum wouldn't use it & still to this day has a twinge of regret ( my sister is in her late 30s). They also lived in different countries.

Tell her to fuck off

Owlina I don't think she should just stop seeing her, but I certainly wouldn't be listening to anything she had to say or giving her any time while she persists in being so rude. The fault for the 'big family argument' would lie with SIL, who clearly gives not a tiny toss about family unity.

Why is your SIL horrible about her niece's name?

And no, I haven't got a scooby what my SIL's nieces are called, or even if she's got any. I'm not actually sure what her sisters are called, come to that, and we all live in the same country!