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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who's being unreasonable?

43 replies

ShootMyMIL · 16/11/2013 09:50

Friends having a party from home with some company - where they bring products and u can buy etc

Party starts at 7, only 3/4 people going.

Friend mentioned in the week that she was doing buffet so don't eat before coming - that's ok makes it easier for me

Just get a text from friend saying no buffet eat before you come. She's knows I've taken a temp job today so am working until 6:30 & she's about 20mins from where I'll be.
I reply saying that's fine but I'll either grab food on my way & eat at yours or order something once I'm at yours.
Friend replies saying no you can't do that you need to eat before you come.
I reply saying well I won't make it until about 8 then as I'll have to go home and eat
Friend gets arsy saying it starts at 7 and it's not turn up when you want
I said well I won't come then as I'm not working and then having nothing to eat.

Who's being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Patchouli · 16/11/2013 09:53

She is.
Those parties where people try and flog overpriced stuff to their friends annoy me anyway.

CocacolaMum · 16/11/2013 09:55

She is.

Original poster
ShootMyMIL · 16/11/2013 09:56

Latest message

I'll have to cancel now as your not coming because you can't eat here and I said don't come late

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 16/11/2013 09:57

She is, what's wrong with you eating something there, she's being ridiculous, don't go

tumbletumble · 16/11/2013 09:58

Reply calmly and say OK, those are the only three options so your choice

JudyJudgypants · 16/11/2013 09:58

"who is being unreasonable" She is.
you are a potential customer and she has a lousy sales technique, don't go, she won't make much in commission from sales anyway and is probably going to grumble and pass the blame for her poor skills.
What ever the products they will be sold at an inflated price to cover the costs of paying your friend.

sooperdooper · 16/11/2013 09:58

Even her message makes it her fault! Is she normally this much hard work?

FunkyBoldRibena · 16/11/2013 09:58

Text back 'whatever'.

Original poster
ShootMyMIL · 16/11/2013 09:59

I think the issue is that everyone else will eat before they come and then be like whys she eating here we had to eat before we came

Apparently I should eat at 5/6 like most people.

OP posts:
DipMeInChocolate · 16/11/2013 09:59

She is.

diddl · 16/11/2013 10:00

Ah well, that's that then!

I can understand the person doing the blurb might not want people chomping away during that-but that doesn't mean that she couldn't have put food on after?

HoratiaDrelincourt · 16/11/2013 10:00

She is.

It stopped being even remotely legitimately a party when she announced she wouldn't be providing any refreshments. So it's now just a sales pitch. Bring your cheque book Hmm

I always decline these "parties". I don't care how much fun they are, I don't have the disposable income to fund someone else's vanity interests.

AuntieStella · 16/11/2013 10:01

She is, because she changed the terms of the original invitation (provision of food) without allowing for the knock on effect.

I'd reply to the text simply with "thanks for letting me know"

Original poster
ShootMyMIL · 16/11/2013 10:01

Replied saying
Ok well thanks for inviting but I can't come now as you've made it near impossible for me to eat tonight

Another friend who's going is having the same argument as she's working aswell today

OP posts:
diddl · 16/11/2013 10:03

I thought that it was cancelled?

Get together with other friend who's working for a meal after work!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 16/11/2013 10:03

How can she not see that she is being totally unreasonable!!!

Original poster
ShootMyMIL · 16/11/2013 10:04

She says she'll cancel but guarantee she doesn't - she'll do it to make me and the other friend feel guilty

OP posts:
bubalou · 16/11/2013 10:05

Just to state the obvious but she sounds like an uptight arsehole.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 16/11/2013 10:08

She is being completely unreasonable.

WhoNickedMyName · 16/11/2013 10:08

If she comes back later today saying the party's still on, eat here, arrive later or whatever, text back "sorry I've made other plans now". Grin

Handbagsonnhold · 16/11/2013 10:10

Yanbu ....wants you round so she can earn commission on some overpriced tat someone will no doubt be flogging (and you will feel obliged to buy). She could at least offer some substantial nibbles to her guests to keep you going. What a joke. Are u not secretly pleased you don't have to go now? Wink

Chippednailvarnish · 16/11/2013 10:14

Why don't you turn up with a take away. That will piss on her fire Grin

missmarplestmarymead · 16/11/2013 10:14

She sounds as if she is just using you as a cash cow. Perfectly reasonable not to go at all.

Nessalina · 16/11/2013 10:14

What a cow!! YANBU!!
Fair enough if the party was in a few days time, you could have a hot lunch and take a sarnie to nom in the car maybe, (although I'd still be pissed off to be invited to a 'party' with the host providing no snacks/refreshments when she'd said there was going to be a buffet!) but to tell you on the same day when you have no chance of making alternative arrangements is self centred, rude, inconsiderate, and just... bloody unreasonable! Shock

LimitedEditionLady · 16/11/2013 10:16

Huh???why on earth cant you eat?is selling food and then you wont be hungry enough to buy anything????are you a REALLY REALLY messy eater???