To ask your household income with 3-4 DC in private school?

[Lemoning]

And are you comfortably living, affording savings and holidays and not worrying about money? Pre tax income, and obviously including the school fees in your outgoings, ie: they're not paid by GP or similar.

I sometimes wonder if we're going to regret starting down the private school road because of money worries later on. Our income pre tax is about £200k.

DH and I didn't go to anything near Oxbridge but DH seems to think our DC will. I think he's been hanging around his work colleagues for too long.

Hahaha. Quite ;)

Dd has a sports scholarship (none means tested). There were also music and arts scholarships available....

They afford uni by taking out a loan! You help out with living costs and a home in the vacations, but not to the tune of 15-20K

Mrs Tara weighs in without doing the sums or recognising that the OP lives in London ...

You are right there! Sorry.
It is doable on that income - if important.
But not without changing other aspects of you life - as said by the mum in Yorkshire.

Oxbridge really is NOT the be-all and end-all. I certainly won't be wishing it on our DCs. I mean, it was a great experience. But not a typical student experience.

I think that's where the problem lies. I would rather send them to state primary than lose all holidays for the next 5 years. Does that sound awful? I think our DC are very lucky already and have a wonderful start in life. Not really wanting to sacrifice enjoying my 40's for private education. And I know this sounds odd but I would be far prouder of them if they did well academically and career wise on a state education.

Poppy, I bet it helped you get a few job interviews though?

That does sound a bit odd tbh

Well I don't know about prouder.

If I thought for a moment that a private education would definitely be better for the boys then I would hand over the cash.

I just don't think that it necessarily is.

DS1 was private when we lived in London, but since we moved home to Oz we just couldn't see the value.

The schools/university/transport did play a massive part in our house purchasing decision though.

If your DH thinks that private would be better though then I can see why he wants to do it.

If you disagree you are going to have to find a middle ground.

What is the point of this thread op? I am genuinely perplexed. Surely only you know whether you can afford it. Just work out fees and expenses annually and take off all other outgoing. Is there enough? The trouble is you and I can have the same income but completley different habits, needs, priorities and expenses so will give a different answer to the question.

OP FWIW I went to a state school and state sixth form and ended up with places at several RG universities to study a for a very prestigious degree which could have well helped me on my way to earning what your DH earns.
(The reason I'm not there now is because I found myself pregnant the week I left sixth form and chose to keep my baby - still ended up with 3 very good A-levels though)
However, my point is that two people in my year at sixth form are now at Oxbridge - one is studying medicine. Someone I know two years above me is at Cambridge and my best friend is now studying at Durham. There is a private school in my hometown and I was friendly with a lot of the sixth formers there and I don't know one person from my year who went there and is now studying at Oxbridge.

I'm battling with the decision. I suppose I am just trying to get an idea of how doable it is, and learning along the way about things like hidden costs that I perhaps hadn't thought of and any other info I can garner.

DCs? Children is already plural.

Disclaimer: Yes I am very bitter that I can't afford the very best education for my DC.

DC = darling child or children

If you are looking at where to spend money on education, OP, assuming that there is not a bottomless pit of funds, you have to think about and weigh up the following:

Primary education spend - Massively important. More important than anything else IMO. "Give me a child for for his first seven years and I'll give you the man". It sets up standards.

Secondary education spend - Also significant, but IMO less significant than primary education spend.
Tertiary education spend - Also massively important. Opens up opportunities that may otherwise not be undertaken.

You have to weigh up where best to spend your beans.

My parents put 4 kids through private school...they never had any holidays or went out though! Honestly, I went to state primary and private secondary, and found it hard to fit in with the already very close friendship groups that had formed through the private primary. I wouldn't do the same for my kids.

Interesting Baby. I also have a friend whose private girls school peers did nothing afterwards academically, but then my state school lot are pretty much the same. A lot depends on the child and the direction from parents.

They should be able to get in for secondary.

My experience of private schools is that money talks, especially at the moment. If you have the cash, they will open the door.

So you can have it both ways. Use the next few years to get rid of mortgage. Drop a holiday and bank bank bank.

Then pay for secondary (if your DH still thinks it is necessary).

Jewels, but that is assuming you send them to a private secondary that has a junior dept, most don't.

OP you said you want the DCs to mix with different cultures and social groups. You won't find much variety at private schools, I think. Maybe some foreign students but they will all be upper middle class too.

Indeed, Lemoning.

"I certainly won't be wishing it on our DCs"

Darling childs and darling childrens are equally incorrect.

Still, as long as only those who can afford it can access higher and education and employment, what does it matter?

My experience of private preps is that money does not talk. We applied for 5 and only one offered. Happily it was our 1st choice.

In London the private secondaries are massively oversubscribed and can pick and choose. Money definitely doesn't talk when a school has 5 times the applicants for the number of places