...to ask for help re having MIL in the house for the weekend when I can't stand get

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

I have a very difficult MIL

I've always been able to get on with her but this have come to a head now I have an 11 month old DS and am 32 weeks pregnant

There was an incident a few weeks ago when she allowed DS to pour coffee over himself, refused to accept that she should have acted more carefully (it was wholly preventable) and then sent me two very unpleasant and nasty texts when I politely says that DH and I had got a bit of a fright. Accidents happen but the fact that she won't accept that her behaviour contributed to things is not really acceptable and the texts were just horrible. MIL has a long history of being unable to put anyone else's needs first so this is not surprising

I then ended up the week later in hospital with unexplained bleeding and have been told to avoid stress.

Against my better judgement, PIL are coming this weekend to look after DS whilst DH and I got to an NCT class for three hours. Most of the time DS will be asleep and I know that if I had refused to let then come, then it would have caused a huge argument

The PILs do nothing to help at all so having them for two nights is a lot of work

I thought I had worked through things in my head and had a very useful thread in relationships and got some great advice

However, now they are about to arrive, I am seething with resentment and I really do not want them in the house

I'm really unsure as to how I'm going to hide how I feel and be civil to them not like me and I also do not want to end up back in hospital due to the adrenaline/stress combo. I've already had two arguments with DH this evening as im taking it all out on him and they've not even arrived yet

AIBU to ask for your tips about how to deal with them this weekend? I've already gone to bed which DH says is rude. I know it is but I just don't want to see them.

Just wondering what you lot will think/do when you are PIL.

Try not to be an asshole probably. I doubt becoming a PIL makes you one automatically. Some people just are :)

I won't be a perfect PIL, any more than I'm a perfect parent.
But I get on well with my children and their boyfriends/girlfriends, so I'll just keep going. Like pianodoodle said, your personality doesn't change when your role changes, does it?

I think you're working yourself up into a frenzy and looking for the worst. Leave the cups. Or ask them pleasantly to tidy them away. Wasn't THE COFFEE INCIDENT preceded by the high chair incident? Both simple errors, neither of which caused a problem, only one of which is being wheeled out as evidence of homicidal behaviour.

Tell your dh that his lack of help is making you ill and tell him you'll end up back in hospital at this rate.

He should be doing the clearing up, not leaving it all for you. He should be making the cups of tea and pandering to his bad-mannered parents.

Tbh your dh is more of a problem than his parents.

Its your DH who is the problem here. Its house too why cant he ask them to tidy up and help you.

I would be much more brash about this and have left it, come down stairs and simply said " Oh no, what a mess, is it ok if I leave this for you all to clear up, as I do not feel well.....what with the bleeding and all."

then you are being direct and clear about what you want them to do.

Sorry but why isn't your dh clearing up? Have you spoken to him?

How's it going OP? Are they behaving themselves?