"You have to be very good so Mummy and Daddy don't split up"

[intothenever]

This is what my sister told my 6 year old niece when explaining why some mummies and daddies no longer live together! She felt it was a good opportunity to point out that naughty children can put an intolerable strain on a marriage so dn needs to be good. I am horrified, this is wrong, isn't it?

How old is your sister?

So wrong on so many levels...

Jeeesus. That's really, really horrible.

So wrong, so so so wrong! God forbid if your sister and her partner ever break up, poor child will be thinking it's her fault!

She is an idiot, what a whole heartedly inappropriate thing to say to a child.

One word, horrible

What was she thinking?!!!

this is vile - absolutely and totally vile. what an intolerable pressure to put on that child. I am absolutely speechless. so if the parents do split up how is that poor child going to feel.

that is all kinds of wrong. what if they split up and DN thinks it's her fault? what if DN tells a kid whose parents have separated "it's your fault because you were naughty, my mum told me", etc.....
Why on earth would she say that?

YANBU OP. Your sister is all kinds of wrong here. I think you need to tell her this and get her to have anither conversation with DN where she apologises, tells DN why what she said was wrong and explains that DC are a parent's reponsibility, parents are not the child's responsibility.

Oh my lord! I thought you were going to say 15/16 or something. Although i think my 15 year old would know that that would be an awful thing to say to a child.

What did you say to her? (your sister)

Horrible and vile.

So all single parents can blame their naughty children? And my dd can blame herself for her dad being a nasty abusive arsehole?

What an idiotic thing to say !

That is so unbelievably awful

I havent said anything to my sister. She told this to my mum, who told me.

What a stupid, stupid thing to say.

So now her kid thinks that her friends with divorced parents are to blame for that?

"She felt it was a good opportunity to point out that naughty children can put an intolerable strain on a marriage"

What the fuck?

So wrong on all kinds of levels....

Emotional blackmail of the very lowest order. It's a disgusting thing to say to a child. :(

I don't think she's awful or horrible, just stupid with no experience on how relationships and parenting works.

Is she childless?

Is your sister not very bright? What a stupid thing to say to a child.

Why would you say that to a child? My little boy, when he was about four or five years old, asked me why I wasn't with daddy any more. I just said it was because his dad snored and that even though we had split up, we were still friends (not exactly the truth!). I didn't want him to think that his dad was anything but fantastic and I also didn't want him to think that he was in any way at fault.

Dear God. Words fail me.

My step father tried that on my sister and I when we were 5 - we might split up and it would be your fault.

It was a vile thing to say to children then, and remains so. Your poor niece. It is never the children's fault that their parents split up.

No, this is to her daughter!

Did your mum tell her how wrong it was?

i think you need to explain to her the damage that guilt about divorce can do to children