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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be finding imaginary play utterly should destroying?

52 replies

Mittensonkittens · 15/11/2013 13:43

I've tried to divert ds with paints, play doh and sticking.

Nope. He's still bossing me around doing imaginary play. When I do it it isn't right and I get corrected. I'm being instructed on what to say and do and it's driving me up the fucking wall.

Every sentence that comes out of his mouth is 'you do this, ok?'
'Now you have to do this ok?'

He's 4. Will it stop soon?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2013 14:42

DD's latest is for me to pretend to be asleep. "Close Eyes, Mummy, close eyes" she shouts and gives me cuddly toys and kisses (fine with that). Thing is last time she kept shining a light in my eyes to make sure I was doing it. I felt like the prisoner of a totalitarian dictator even more than normal.

Retroformica · 15/11/2013 14:44

I think it's ok as long as they don't try to control imaginative play with friends. If kids are really too controlling it can push friends away from them. Isolate them.

starsandunicorns · 15/11/2013 15:05

I loved doing this when my dds were little many shopping trip we would do duck talk she would quake I reply with quake quacke etc usung differnt tones it did sound just like we were ducks at a pond though we did get looks though

BionicEmu · 15/11/2013 15:09

3.0 year old DS started imaginary play just after he turned 2. Then we stupidly bought him an Ikea play tent for Christmas last year.

The number 1 rule in our house is Do Not Go In The Play Tent. He will never let you leave. He will cook you dinner, & give you a bath, & read you a story. He's allowed to leave because he goes to work sometimes. But if you try to leave he will physically stuff you back in & have the biggest tantrum ever seen.

He has a sister now, she's only 9 months old but I can't wait til she's old enough to play with him.

PrimalLass · 15/11/2013 15:14

I totally agree. That's what nursery and friends are for. I just take my children out. A LOT.

MrsMook · 15/11/2013 15:15

DS is just on the fringes of it. A few weeks ago, DH got conscripted to play with the trainset the moment he got home. He laid some flat track to desperate shouts of "No! No! Viver! Viver!" Apparently he couldn't see the invisible river wriggling across the carpet that required carefully placed bridges.

Original poster
Mittensonkittens · 15/11/2013 15:30

We go out a lot too.
He also always wants me to make inanimate objects talk (laughed at pretending to be rich tea biscuits!)
This morning he had an entire conversation with the car (me). He also pretends my hands and his are spiders and pets them / feeds them / puts them to bed. I'm like 'it's a hand!'

However none of that is as bad as full on Imaginary play where I have to act things out. Stories - yes, crafts - grudgingly, baking - yes, playing outside - yes, board games - yes. Imaginary play not so much.
Ds would have benefitted from a sibling for sure, although only as long as they didn't mind being bossed around from dusk til dawn.

OP posts:
plantsitter · 15/11/2013 15:36

Commit to doing it for ten minutes and that's it. Ten minutes of completely focussed bossing around IM time with you is perfectly reasonable at that age. It will feel like fifty million years, however.

eightandthreequarters · 15/11/2013 15:36

I had DC2 almost entirely for this reason. Now they play nonsense games together, have a grand time, and I do other stuff. When they want to play cards or a board game or go out to the park, I'm there.

I realise this is a drastic solution, however. Perhaps a pet would serve the same function?

Original poster
Mittensonkittens · 15/11/2013 15:41

We sadly can't have dc2, been trying for a year and it's not happening. The gap would be so large now I can't see them playing together much anyway.

I find that once I agree to it he senses weakness and I get embroiled in it FOREVER. Maybe I should set a timer and say once it goes that's it, I'm done.
Ten minutes will indeed feel like 50 million years though.

OP posts:
StarfishOrange · 15/11/2013 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tobiasfunke · 15/11/2013 16:17

I feel your pain. I have a Ds 5 who is an only and who loves imaginary play. I am still playing the shark family with me as Gummy and him as Gummy's Mummy so he can boss me about. Annoyingly when we first came up with Gummy (about 3 years ago) I started talking like someone from Essex and I've a very strong NI accent). He will not have it if I don't keep talking like a TOWIE cast member.
He has started making stuff recently but that means that there are cut up shoe boxes and bits of glue and selloptape everywhere and I'm expected to help make a gas mask out of 2 bits of paper and a toilet roll. I'm not sure that's worse

Jacksterbear · 15/11/2013 16:28

Agree with the timer suggestions. We have this, which is great. You can also get visual timer apps for phones/tablets.

KungFuBustle · 15/11/2013 16:48

I completely missed all this, another positive of Autism. We play minecraft though, that was interesting.apparently there's a lot I need to know about mine craft. NEED to know.

thebody · 15/11/2013 16:54

my older boys used to kick the crap out of me (exaggeration) as I had to be a putty and they were power rangers fighting crime.

served me right for letting them watch this violent kids show ha ha.

however preferred it to my dds fucking baby puppy game and endless barking!!

thehorridestmumintheworld · 15/11/2013 16:56

Also when the timer goes off you have an urgent job to do. Or set a secret timer that sound like a phone then you have to answer it. Then it is time for a walk or something so you can't keep playing.

Enb76 · 15/11/2013 21:15

Going out doesn't help, I used to take mine to the playground and still I was roped in.

"Let's play Pirates, mummy"
"Ok darling... Arrr do that be an octopus?"
"No mummy, you're the sea monster"
"Ok"
"Say 'hello matey, where are you going?'"
"Hello matey, where are you going?"
"Noooo, you did it wrong"
"???"

Karoleann · 15/11/2013 21:31

I can't do it either. When its getting really tedious, I find let do painting or go to the park always works.

thegreylady · 15/11/2013 21:38

I make up the imaginary games for my dgs so I choose who to be.Their favourite is when I am a used car dealer and they are naughty animals stealing the cars.It's great I have a wind up dinosar as a watchdog and I sit with my back to the radiator saying,"Come back here with that Porsche, helicopter, horsebox, space rocket you rascally duck, bear, monkey or Rexy will get you!!!"
Great fun Grin and it takes ages for them to line up the vehicles in order of size,colour, type etc. We also have a scrapheap for broken cars and a special rank of cars with eyes.Oh what a time we have!

maddening · 15/11/2013 22:14

ds is like this at 2.9 but has a speech delay so is unable to tell me what it is that he insists I do - v frustrating for both of us!

GobbolinoCat · 15/11/2013 22:18

This is where you need to get the tech out, get him on the i pad and he will soon be forgetting about his imaginary play Grin

cashmiriana · 15/11/2013 22:23

I have taught in Early Years. I once spent a week being forced to be a chicken. In a big box. Day after day. It was fantastic for the children. (I was probably the only chicken in the world who had a clipboard and made a note of which children could count my eggs accurately.) But I still had to cluck like a chicken and flap my arms. It was only supposed to be for an hour and a half on the first morning but they just ran with it... on.... and on... and on.... The next year my colleagues were so excited at the prospect of chicken week. I was not.

Balaboosta · 15/11/2013 22:43

I hear you cwtches.

I hate pretending to eat pretend food. Makes my mouth disappointed that its not real and it goes dry.

Nanny0gg · 16/11/2013 00:19

I never ever did it. I encouraged it but avoided involvement. Always felt stupid so let them do it alone.

StrawberryGashes · 16/11/2013 01:39

Ah this thread has made me excited, I never got imaginary play with my son as he has autism, my daughter is only 5 months so I've got a while yet until she can play like this but it always seemed like fun when my friends would moan talk about what their children had them pretending to do.