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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said no to my lodger

44 replies

Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:23

Got a new lodger and for the third time he has come down and asked if he can borrow a cigarette. I have given him one on the previous two occasions but this time I said no.

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 12/11/2013 23:24

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Unless he gives you them all back as routine, when he has had the chance to get to the shop. Then you might be being a little mean.

But if you give and never get back, no, not unreasonable.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:28

He always seems to be on the cadge ' can I borrow some milk/juice/bread etc' I'm fed up with it and he has never offered me a cigarette in return. He asked if there is a corner shop open and I said no, not at this time of night.

He stomped back upstairs .

OP posts:
Rosencrantz · 12/11/2013 23:30

Stick to your guns then OP.

If he wants a fag at night, he'll have to get his arse in gear and buy them in the daytime, won't he? It's not hard!

Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:34

Exactly. I'm in the throws of giving up. Just waiting for my vapour cigarette to arrive in the post so only have a couple of real cigarettes left anyway. And even if I had a cupboard full of them I don't see why I should find his habit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:34

*fund

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 12/11/2013 23:36

Does he think you're his mum?

Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:40

Grin Imperial thankfully he's only here for another 2 weeks. Can't wait for him to go .

First night he was here he told me how he can't stop being horrible to his girlfriend. My reply? ' yes I know, I heard you calling her a c* on the phone'

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 12/11/2013 23:45

Ugh what a pig.

How did he end up living with you? I wouldn't want to share a fridge with a young man - I've seen first hand how much they eat!

Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:53

He answered my ad and seemed ok. It's only when they move in that you get the measure of them.

I hate having lodgers , although the other one I have, a lady who's my age , is lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:55

He keeps coming downstairs, huffing and puffing and then stomping back to his room

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 12/11/2013 23:56

light up and blow smoke rings at him.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 12/11/2013 23:58

Grin I'm going outside for one in a min. I'll stand under his open window, at least he be able to partake in a bit of passive smoking .

I was doing well in not having one but he has wound me up and so I want to smoke even more !

OP posts:
thehorridestmumintheworld · 13/11/2013 00:01

Lol he sounds a nightmare. Is there an all night garage anywhere? he could walk to it and give him something to do.

Original poster
Doinmummy · 13/11/2013 00:04

I said the corner shop shuts at ten. The nearest all night garage is about 45 min walk away!

OP posts:
Original poster
Doinmummy · 13/11/2013 00:05

I just don't understand that as a smoker you make sure you've got a supply. I guess he's used to scrounging off others .

OP posts:
Original poster
Doinmummy · 13/11/2013 00:07

His face was a bit [shocked] when I said no

OP posts:
Original poster
Doinmummy · 13/11/2013 00:07
Shock
OP posts:
IAlwaysThought · 13/11/2013 00:33

YANBU Once or twice maybe but three time is not on.

Icelollycraving · 13/11/2013 00:37

Well (without sounding rude) I assume you don't have lodgers for company but for extra income. Pointless to be handing it straight back.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2013 02:03

Well, if he really wants one he can call a cab and get them to get him some (I was once a very addicted smoker).

MiniMonty · 13/11/2013 03:06

OUCH - at close to 50p a pop these-days it's not like the old days (a couple of years ago) when we all shared and never thought twice about it. I paid £8:25 for 20 Camel in a Tesco Metro today and almost had an out of body experience as I watched myself hand over that much money for the clippings of a plant wrapped in paper.

Smoking is an expensive habit these days, if he wants to smoke he has to dig deep like the rest of us.

Also... the only people I've ever known who only occasionally want to "borrow" a cigarette are those who want to skin up a joint. Is he sharing that with you ?

PresidentServalan · 13/11/2013 07:54

YANBU - and I say that as a smoker. I get people coming up to me in the street asking for a cig - I would never do that! And I may not be the most organised person in the world but I have never run out of fags!

Original poster
Doinmummy · 13/11/2013 08:18

I knew I wasn't being unreasonable. He keeps telling me how much money he earns. Apparently £600 so far this week , so he can afford them more than I can!

OP posts:
Jux · 13/11/2013 08:48

Gosh no, YANNNNNNNNNBU.

Today a fag, tomorrow food, next week money. He'll just 'borrow' more and more and more.

I'm a massivefan of ecigs btw.

pianodoodle · 13/11/2013 09:00

YANBU

When DH and I both smoked I was sitting outside chatting to a neighbour and gave one to a guy on our street.

After that he kept coming to the door during the day to ask for them!

This was not long before we stopped and we were trying to save money by rolling. I'm rubbish at it though so DH rolled me a set number in the morning before he went to work so I had to ration them carefully Grin

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