Actually, I am being really unreasonable. However I would like to ask those who have experienced Angel Feathers to....

[DioneTheDiabolist]

...answer a few questions that I have.

1). What does it feel like when you see that feather?

2). What are your thoughts when this happens?

And

3). What would you say are the long term (if any) effects that you would attribute to these encounters.

I understand that this belief has been the subject of some ridicule here. I have no intention of ridiculing anyone. This thread has been inspired by a previous AIBU thread, but is not a thread about a thread. I am not a journalist. I am not seeking results to use in an academic submission or publication. What I am seeking is knowledge and understanding in the hope that I can use it to help others.

IABU for the following reasons:
I only posted in AIBU for the traffic. If MN rule that I have breached guidelines, can it be moved and not deleted.

And I ask the skeptics not to put people off answering honestly. If you think it necessary, I can start another thread for all your thoughts to be discussed. Perhaps the scientifically minded of you could look at this as an information gathering excersise.

The reason I really believe is,

We lost our middle child our son, shortly after he was born' the same day in fact :(

After he died I saw a lot of white feathers all the time, in ways I couldn't see how festers could end up in certain places.

Like I would leave the house stick and span

When I would return home, there would be a white feather in the middle of the room soap bang right in the middle

Now how could that get there while I'm out ?
Right in the middle of the room

Ah yay what really convinced he was this
One evening I was talking to dh in bed at night about feathers
And how some people believe the say when festers appear angels are near

He listened in a a kind I'm not believing this but i will listen type way

Then the very next morning before going anywhere or doing anything I put my Jeans on

In the pocket was a mini booklet of tesco clubcard vouchers that was folded in half and folded in half again
I took them out of my pocket as I wonder what it was in my pocket had when I opened it up
There was one single white feather inside
And it had been folded up and folded again and was inside my pocket

And three times I felt my ds1 presence
Can't explain but felt like I've felt him near me
That was only in the very early days
Not felt that in a long time

Also had weird experiences with dreams and crows
I really do not like crows

"I think that round my way the feathers are seen as not necessarily OF an angel but SENT by an angel"

So angels pluck poor birds bald to lay their feathers on every human's path?

Just checking. Has this thread become one of those ones where we have to respect everyone's beliefs and not challenge them or even question them? Because it is in AIBU.......

If I walk around the seaside I find seagull feathers. If I walk in the woods I find wood pigeon and pheasant feathers and if I go for a walk next to the river I find swan feathers.

Lastly, if I'm changing my duvet I find duvet filling feathers.

I don't think finding feathers has much to do with angels.

If it gives comfort to anyone that's lost a loved one, that should be enough really.
I don't believe myself but would never mock anybody that does.

Just checking. Has this thread become one of those ones where we have to respect everyone's beliefs and not challenge them or even question them? Because it is in AIBU.......

Well Curlew I did back track ever so slightly from my first post because I then noticed a few bereaved parents on the thread and had a slight panic that I had been too flippant and scathing. Cowardly I know but I don't want to be massively unkind.

I've just been reading some of the recent posts and it rang a few bells.

A few years ago we were thinking of emigrating to Australia. All of a sudden there seemed to be references to Australia everywhere - in magazines, books on shelves, programmes on the tv, everywhere I tell you. I'm fairly sure that this had more to do with Australia now being on our radar and therefore we noticed this stuff. It was always there, but it just seemed more significant now. It wasn't some kind of sign (the opportunity fell through and we didn't go in the end).

Isn't the finding of white feathers the same thing? If you're not looking, you don't see them.

Absolutely fireside. As I said earlier, we think white feathers are symbols of hope, so we take hope from seeing them. It's that way round.

Confirmation bias is what you are describing, firesidechat - a recognised problem when setting up studies in research. You see what you want or need to see. It is v hard to ward against.

English is not my first language although I have lived here for 20 years now. However, every now and then I come up against a new word or phrase and I am forever amazed how that phrase that I was not familiar with and had never noticed before, suddenly seems to be used everywhere.

Nobody in their right mind would go out of their way to be unkind to a bereaved person and as said above, whatever gives comfort is fine by me. That does not mean, however, that 'angel feathers' are a real phenomenon.
And yes, homeopathy has no active ingredient (because water by definition has no 'memory' and also because Hahnemann simply stipulated that he would tread 'like with like' without any basis for that stipulation and tarot cards can be read in whichever way you want, just as palm reading done by a skill-full practitioner will tell the client exactly what they need or want to hear.
Still nonsense.

Cote, you seem to be incredibly interested in the origins of these feathers. Perhaps if you start your own thread people will answer your questions.

Anyfuckerisnotguilty, thank you. It is interesting in your case that these experiences tailed off after a while.

Monty, I can't PM you. However I can reply to your PMs, so feel free to contact me if you wish.

Fireside, I wouldn't call it cowardice, I would call it sensitivity and it is an admirable quality to have.

I'm not incredibly interested. Just interested. And this is just the thread for the question.

And I am not interested in the origin of the feathers, I know their origin- they come from birds.

I am interested in what the faithful here believe is the origin of these feathers - birds' wings or angels' wings.

I would think that it is the basis of this belief. Why can't anyone answer the question?

Cote I did state that this is what other people I know believe, not what I actually believe myself.

Maybe they think the feathers materialise out of nothing rather than from random birds.

I think a lot of us know what the rational answer is, but if people draw comfort from believing it is a sign then what does it matter to anyone else? Do you deny someone grieving a tiny sign of hope? I admit I cracked jokes at the start of this thread but after reading input from people I do believe people find comfort from it and that is a good thing. No need for questioning them just because it doesn't fit with our mindset a.

I repeat. Is this a thread where we have to respect other's beliefs absolutely, without challenge or even question? If so, what is the purpose of the thread? And why is it in AIBU?

I'm not sure why you'd want to question or challenge someone's process of grieving to be honest.

That's the point. I want to question and challenge beliefs and myths- but obviously I don't want to challenge a grieving parent. There are two types of threads on subjects like this- ones where people who have suffered share experiences, and ones where people discuss belief systems and mythology. This thread started out as one sort, and seems to be turning into the other. I want to know where we are on this thread. Because I want to debate, but I don't want to hurt people.

That's not what this thread was started for though was it? It clearly states in the OP. I can understand why you would like to debate this, but maybe 'let' them have this thread to discuss, and like the OP suggested start your own if you'd like a debate?

It probably was posted in the wrong section, but it's here now and I think we should have some consideration for the OP and the posters who like to speak about things like this.

OK. But it always happens. The minute somebody starts asking awkward questions, the "how very dare you" brigade come out. It almost seems that people don't like anybody shining even the dimmest of rational lights on their feathers and such.

I get what you mean. You can see that right from the beginning I had a joke about it and suggested feather pillows and the like but the minute posters with genuine intentions posted I stopped. These people don't want to be involved in a debate, they want to speak about their experiences and it's a bit off to try and engage them in something they don't want

Although if you do want to start a debate thread on the matter I'd happily join in

Look, I imagine half the people on here have been bereaved at some point, losing parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends. I'm as respectful as anyone of grieving people and their coping mechanisms - and the one thing we can be sure of in life is that we will lose people we love. My point is that the bereaved is hardly a minority group, it's everyone, so the idea that people need to tiptoe around the sensibilities of a tiny, vulnerable minority just isn't accurate. It's a club we all join sooner or later.

Also, I am agnostic, but I appreciate how religion can console with ritual and giving individuals a sense of community in the aftermath of a death. And angels have their place in various cosmologies -Christian, Jewish, Muslim etc- generally as messengers if the divine.

But this angel feather stuff just takes one specific element of an entire belief system and turns it into a fluffy, meaningless platitude, religion-lite, if you like, without the necessity to do any of the tough stuff like being good, living selflessly, praying, acquiring a full knowledge of whatever your religion actually is. It's divorced from any belief system, and it has no more value than a meme on the Internet, or people who 'order' yellow balloons from the universe as a way of trying to control their lives.

Thanks for coming back Strumperton, it's good to know that I am not the only one gaining understanding from this thread.

"Maybe they think the feathers materialise out of nothing rather than from random birds."

Interesting. In their place, wouldn't you take one of those feathers & find some way to find out if it comes from a bird? I mean, there are myriad sources on the internet about bird feathers, their shapes, how to recognise them, etc. Wouldn't you take one of those feathers and try to figure out which bird it comes from, if any?

Imagine holding in your hands possible proof of the supernatural. A feather that doesn't come from a bird. Would you not try your best to find out for sure?

Talk about confirmation bias... I was on the beach today and thought of this thread, there were hundreds of white feathers. There was also a dead seagull, which wasn't very nice but funny how this thread came up, then I see hundreds of feathers.

"Although if you do want to start a debate thread on the matter I'd happily join in"

No point. I'll just be accused of being insensitive and tramping on people's sincerely held beliefs. Brilliant silencing technique.