To think my mum might step down (or up)

[Mosschops30]

Me and dd have planned a girly trip together for years which my mother kind of hijacked and said she would love to come.
Which was fine when I thought ex h would have the other dcs (separate holiday planned for them so they're not missing out.
However he won't have them and that's the only week we can logistically go

AIBU to think my mum might step down and offer to babysit whilst I go with dd?
She's not hard done by, she took 3 holidays last year, one was a business class RTW trip!!
The fact remains that if she doesn't then no one goes! And she is welcome to come on the proper family holiday

Not sure why your anger is directed at your mum & not your ex

I'm not angry at her at all
I'm just wondering AIBU to think she might step down from a trip that was mine and dds to start with

I am definately angry at him the nob jockey!

Why don't you just ask her instead of waiting for her to offer?

Lol at nob jockey

I guess she's excited at the trip & staying home & babysitting isn't as appealing

Could all the kids go ?

YABU. It is never the responsibility of grandparents to cover shortfalls in childcare.

you might have to ask her if she doesn't offer

No it's not that type of holiday
Dd almost 18

Saucy I don't think I ever said it was her responsibility don't be so tetchy

So, ask her.

I don't want her to be hurt

I'm not tetchy in the slightest. I'm eating a very nice biscuit as it happens.

Look, you're the one getting your panties in a wad because your mum hasn't freely offered you a week's childcare because your arrangements for your children have fallen through. You must have some sense of entitlement from her or else you wouldn't have dreamt of starting this thread in the first place.

If you do think that a week's childcare is a perfectly reasonable favour, then at the very least take a bunch of flowers round and grovel ask nicely.

Also, it's neither here nor there whether she has 3 or 33 holidays a year. She's raised her own kids and is free to do as she pleases.

Moss you will need to broach the subject with your mum in the kindest way and make her see that if she doesn't look after the other DC then no one will be able to go away. After that it's really up to her

YANBU.

Ask her.

Thank you saucy your post was so twatty helpful

Oh. I think I will keep my thoughts on whether or not you are being unreasonable to myself!

Twatty is as twatty does, why did you start the thread if you don't want people to interact?

Ironically, I think the responses have been quite restrained considering the OPs interactions with everyone! Yes, the ex is a dick for messing her around, but just why should her DM simply be expected to do anything without being asked? when people have made that suggestion to the OP, they have been flamed!

Opinions on whether AIBU is exactly what I wanted
'Panties in a wad' (stupid Americanism)
'Entitlement'
are not necessary

Plenty of people have been helpful and given an opinion either way without being rude

Me too MaryZ. Whats gone wrong round here?

Why won't he have them? If he agreed to have them in the first place, then surely it's his childcare responsibility. Perhaps your mum is looking forwards to some quality time with her daughter and grand daughter?

Just tell your mum you have no childcare now so it's off. If she offers then fair enough but I wouldn't ask if she planning on going.

Gamer I think that's the best option. I wouldn't feel right asking

It us a shame though.. your ex sounds like a knob. My ex picks and chooses when he has his kids and has no issue saying no