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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that small children don't actually need police to tell them not to be late to school?

103 replies

Brittapie · 12/11/2013 09:39

Just took DD1 (6yo) to school 3 minutes late (I know, I know, there are good reasons in this case but that's not the point of the thread) and spent another five minutes waiting and getting told off by some kind of police/pcso and some random high vis jacket woman before being allowed in. Poor DD1 was really scared and DD2 was late for nursery (not before telling me to tell the nasty police lady off Grin )

AIBU to think that is ridiculously heavy handed? We've not had so much as a mention in the newsletter or anything to persuade chronic late families, and it's not like small children can even choose what time they set off.

I know children should be at school on time, she usually is, but I messed up here. I know I did. I had them both up and down all night (I don't know why), I'm full of fairly heavy duty medication at the moment and they both wet the bed so I needed extra time to get them cleaned up, and DD2 had one of her mega tantrums too. I know I should have left extra time and woke them up early, but I didn't, I was wrong.

But I am now shaking (I have bad experiences that make me really scared of police) and both my children started school even later and more stressed than they were. I understand they need to do something, but this is silly.

(I also told them off for saying compulsory school age, instead of education, but that is because we are an ex HE family and I was annoyed...)

OP posts:
MonstersBalls · 12/11/2013 09:46

Yanbu. They obviously had nothing else to do. Shock

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 09:56

My friend is telling me to complain, but will they just brush me off?

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 12/11/2013 09:59

I'd assume that it was for repeat offenders & if you're certain you're not one of those I'd email the head & ask if it's a new policy & say you think it's heavy handed

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:00

They are being Ofsteded today, but I presume Ofsted will approve...

OP posts:
Rosa · 12/11/2013 10:01

Another person who obviously needs to feel super important.... If it was your first offence ( surely super important lady would have a list) then a nod , an oh dear and then let you in . If this is a regular occurrence for some children / parents then yes a general note explaining the system and advising parents of super jobsworth lady at the gate.

littlemslazybones · 12/11/2013 10:03

YANBU. I would complain. I want my children to see the police as a safe and fair port of call when they need help - I wouldn't want that trust to be jepordised for something so bloody trivial.

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:04

I can see people deciding to just not bother taking their child in if they are late because of this. Plenty of people have bad experiences with police, and being told off at the age of 5 (a little boy in front of us didn't have his parent with him, they must have dropped and ran. They still took his name and gave him the lecture they gave me, pretty much. He was in year one.) is pretty much gonna help children be scared of police too.

I know I'm not gonna get much work done today because I am likely to need to take prn medication. I know most adults don't, but I bet it is disrupting the children.

OP posts:
lizzzyyliveson · 12/11/2013 10:05

I think you should complain as it is not an appropriate way to deal with small children. Who knows what your DC have made of this? You could be dealing with bed wetting, nightmares, school refusal tomorrow. Seeing that someone can speak meanly to your mother at that age is shattering for a small child. It means that your mother is no longer a safe refuge to hide behind. They have taken away your child's sense of security and for what? To nag you about 5 minutes?

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:07

I'm already dealing with bed wetting and nightmares a lot of the time, and DD2 is getting annoyed at having to go to nursery every day. Which is one of the reasons we were late. This will make things worse :-(

OP posts:
Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:08

Where do I start? I can't do it by talking, my mental health can't cope with that, so it has to be email.

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 12/11/2013 10:09

OK so I don't think its the end of the world, but I am really suprised the police don't have anything better to do! I would definitely contact the school. But I suspect the Ofstead inspectors' presence has quite a lot to do with it.

BackOnlyBriefly · 12/11/2013 10:16

Hold on. The police were stopping people at the school gate to lecture them on the legal requirement to get kids to school on time?

Where does that happen? North Korea? Saudi?

Given the existence of HE there's not a legal requirement to take them at all. I'd have been furious.

lizzzyyliveson · 12/11/2013 10:19

Yes, send an email to the Head. Just say what you have said here, that you feel it is over the top and that you are coping with difficult circumstances anyway so they have made a hard day worse for you. Did you do an Ofsted questionnaire? You can pick one up at the office at hometime.

MerylStrop · 12/11/2013 10:22

Speak to the Head

Very heavy-handed as a tactic for encouraging timeliness.

MerylStrop · 12/11/2013 10:24

Just read the bit where the 6 year old got told off. Bloody hell

Also OP don't beat yourself up about being late. It happens to most of us sometime and yours is a better reason than mine was most

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:25

I've sent an email asking them for more information. I want to know what I am dealing with before I challenge it.

OP posts:
dozeydoris · 12/11/2013 10:32

Was it really the police?

I would write to them saying how disappointed you are that they are seen as the controllers for the school and not the kind supportive people that your DCs can turn to in an emergency.
I'm sure that is how they are wanting to be seen (second option).

If they are having to do this they could be more fair and kindly if it is a first offence. Write to the head person (Chief Inspector?) and possible the commissioner if you have one.

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:38

I don't think it would even be appropriate if we were late every single day. Just a horrible way to deal with it.

OP posts:
thebody · 12/11/2013 10:42

why was a police officer or CPo at your school gates?

why were they talking to you about a school related matter?

just totally confused here.

were you parked badly?

anything else is nonsensical.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 12/11/2013 10:45
Shock

The police are involved in school tardiness? Seriously? What a fucking waste if police time.

harticus · 12/11/2013 10:46

Was she one of these half-baked community coppers dressed with a little brief authority?
I can't imagine proper police could be arsed to waste their time on nonsense like this.

Anyway whoever it was I would be making a BIG song and dance about it - including local press.

Original poster
Brittapie · 12/11/2013 10:46

Nope, I walk to school. I had my 6yo and 3yo in school uniform, running (or at least at a fast walk as the 3yo only has small legs, but definitely rushing) along two sides of the fence so they saw us coming just after the door had shut (the kids usually go in the back door)

There was a police car parked as well.

OP posts:
NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 12/11/2013 10:46

If they have to tell you off they should send the kids through and tell the parents off out of sight of the kids. A six year old isn't responsible for whether she is late for school or not, it's down to whoever is bringing her. I don't agree that they were right to have a go at you at all if it's just a one off, repeat offenders then yes but I still don't think it should be in front of the kids making them even later!

scaevola · 12/11/2013 10:47

I think you should email the school and the local police station, and ask them what the intended purpose was. If you do, and if you get a response, I hope you'll post it here.

It sounds absolutely barking to me.

HarpyFishwifeTwat · 12/11/2013 10:49

An absolutely ridiculous over-reaction by the school and I can't believe the police have so little to do that bullying a small child is a priority. Do complain to the school and also to your local Chief Inspector. As dozeydoris suggests the local Police and Crime Commissioner is a good person to complain to as well - many are on Twitter and I've always found that a good way to get immediate attention.

It wasn't ideal that you were late but the attitude of oh-so-bloody-perfect wankers who never make mistakes really pisses me off. What happened to a little human understanding and acceptance?