to expect DS school to include him (coeliac & df)

[wangle99]

DS is 10, has been gluten/wheat/dairy free all the while he has been at his primary school and he is now in year 5. I had a conversation with his teacher two weeks ago at parents evening saying that I would always provide food if they were doing anything food based in class.

DS comes home today visibly upset.

1. Today was French food testing day, we had not been told. They had told him to 'sniff' the food. (I could have provided brioche and others things)

2. His lunch table got 'lunch table of the week' all children on it got chocolate with caramel in. Nothing available for DS. A teaching assistant took him around the other class rooms to see if anyone had anything he could eat but they didn't.

The school are well aware of DS needs, they have a care plan for him so all staff do know. They could have told me and I would have provided something. I had no idea they do '** of the week' I could have provided chocolate/sweets whatever to be kept in school.

Would you email the school to discuss this? Am I expecting too much?

Thank you.

YADNBU - that's disgusting

Sorry my cat hit post

I would definitely raise it as a complaint in writing, from what you say there is absolutely no excuse at all to exclude him in that way, even if they forgot to let you know, how hard is it to pop out & pick up a nice safe piece of fruit or something similar so he at least had something

YANBU
If it makes you feel any better the school my DD's go to won't provide a vegetarian school meal more than once every three weeks...

....and my DD's are vegetarian...

no, you are not expecting too much.

we had some similar issues with ds2 who is no dairy/egg

they should absolutely be including him

That is really awful. We have a child with coeliac disease at school. The children were baking, and they bought Gf flour, made sure that the child baked first to avoid cross contamination etc. So including a child with coeliac disease can be done!

I would suggest keeping a stash of treats at school though, chocolate or sweets or similar, so that on the odd occasion that another child has been on holiday or had a birthday and brings in treats, your son has something there he can have.

That is- the teachers bought Gf flour.

I should have added that my own DD is vegetarian AND intolerant to,a lot of additives, it has never been an issue - her school even have the policy that they provide an alternative safe treat for DCs that can't have birthday cake treats brought in to share by the class -

one DC in DDs class has a lot if allergies & when I offered to provided something they could have along side DDs birthday cupcakes - I was told no need, that they always make sure they have safe treats in the kitchen just incase

Sounds as if this was really very badly handled. Forgetting about his needs was rubbish enough, but making him sniff the food and dragging him around all the other classrooms just to be disappointed was really, really cruel

I'd definitely be raising this with the school. He deserves a big apology from them.

I think the school failed on a number of levels here. Unless they apologise directly to your son, an official complaint is in order.

(Btw, having emergency treats in school is a good idea. We do that for ds who has multiple allergies)

Thank you, I did wonder if perhaps I was expecting too much, you kind of get used to people being useless and think it is the norm! He was so upset today my heart really felt for him. Letter being written right now.

One of my nut allergy pupil's mums gave me a box of "treats" for the classroom so that she never need be excluded when kids bought sweets in or for special, rewards. Maybe you could do something like that?

Sounds like a lamentable lack of pre-planning on the class teacher's part. Our school have had/have pupils with dietary requirements (including those like your son's) and we always make sure that their needs are considered when these sort of events take place, so they can join in like everyone else.

Please do send an email or letter to headteacher reiterating what you had discussed recently with the class teacher, emphasise that you are willing to provide any foods necessary for all future projects, cooking events etc., if you are given appropriate notice. Say how disappointed your son was to be excluded at two events recently.

Good luck.

No, YANBU - a good school will always cater for this, we get notified and there are reply slips for allergies and intolerances. DD2's primary also has a vegetarian choice every single day.

As a teacher I always keep a stash of treats in my cupboard for children with allergies, as do my colleagues. We chat to parents so they can advise and they usually provide things. Also our kitchen caters for all dietary requirements, including doing gf battered fish on Fridays for a coeliac colleague! It can be done.

Two words.... Equality Act.

Grrrr, poor boy!

I've offered to leave treats before but got pointed out that they are a healthy school and don't encourage treats (but quite happy to dish out birthday cake when it is brought in).

His nursery was fab about things like this. School have made countless errors.

Another teacher here and I also have a little snack box that a parent has provided for her child with allergies ( this has been quite usual over the last few years). It lives in my drawer to be chosen from when other children bring in sweets/cake for birthdays. I would just take one in and leave it with the teacher rather than asking.

The sniffing instead of tasting is a bit miserable. I am surprised they didn't let the children/parents know about it prior to the lesson.

We got that line about being a healthy school as well. It is crap! If the school are willing to dish out birthday cake, then they must let your ds have a treat box because this is an inclusion issue - is not fair or acceptable that he should be the only one left out.

My ds school said I couldn't put sweets in his treat box because they don't allow sweets in school. They suggested I provide shop-bought cake that would keep until it was needed. When I pointed out that prewrapped shop-bought cake that is dairy, egg and nut free simply did not exist, they compromised and allowed me to put in fruit sweets (which ds is quite happy with). They still won't allow me to send in dairy free chocolate buttons, even though many of the birthday cake the other children are eating have chocolate buttons on them.

Ds school are mostly amazing about including him. I simply cannot imagine them treating him the way your ds has been treated.

Tbh I think you are being a bit unreasonable. The teacher probably forgot then tried to rectify it by going round the other classes to find him something
Teachers are human they make mistakes. Perhaps you should remind her that you can always bring in substitutes if they do something similar in the future. I bet she felt awful tbh.

maddy68 I disagree. There's nothing unreasonable in the op being upset about the way this was handled. The school forgot about her boy's needs twice in a short space of time. Taking him around the classrooms was badly thought out, and probably made him feel worse.

Yanbu at all! You have offered to provide safe food or treats for either him or the class, why wouldn't they accept this offer!?

Your poor son :(

Very badly handled by the school

I have sent a letter to the school today. DS has just come home upset, the teaching assistant has told the class she is making them a chocolate cake..... DS presumes it won't include him as it never does.

This reminds me of that thread where someone's DC had an allergy and was made to sit on a table alone at mealtimes at nursery. Shocking!!

I hope you get a decent response from the letter. If not, then I think it's time to take things further with an official complaint to the head/governors. Quoting the disability discrimination act might help. I really can't believe a school is so lackadaisical about your son's needs!

And yes, your son should have a treat box, healthy school or not. Otherwise your son is being discriminated against every time the school allows birthday cake etc to be given out. If it is such a healthy school, perhaps they should ban birthday cake!

DD's nursery made all of their snacks, baking etc GF as there was a child who couldn't have gluten. It requires the (very reasonable) decision to be made that the school wishes to be truly inclusive.

You really aren't asking too much as you are happy to provide the alternative for your DS.

The thoughtlessness of adults must be rather upsetting for your DS.