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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of not being able to afford the heating on

326 replies

KeepMeCalm13 · 11/11/2013 19:41

Thankfully no children involved.

We are yet to have any form of heating on this autumn/winter as we just cannot afford the bill. We only have central heating, no fire. I'm currently sat in a t-shirt, thick jumper, dressing gown, jeans, 2 pairs of socks, and slippers and I've got a hot water bottle and I'm frozen. The thought of another 4 months of this makes me want to cry.

OP posts:
3asAbird · 14/11/2013 20:12

forgot to say agree when you rent choices are limited.
my last flat boiler was faulty dangerous and was hit by huge gas bill when I left.

Now we live in 3bed semi detached, built 1988 double glazing but does not feel energy efficient the patio doors off lounge the curtains move in the wind.

The radiators are tiny and dont give off much heat.

boilers not the best but its safe.

Only gas we have is central heating iss gas.

sat in pub next to gas fire today and thourght I love it.

My nan lived victorian end of terrace and she has a curtain behind front door and those draught excluders made out of old rights.

I also think the trend these days for more open plan living harder to heat I always detested stairs off living rooms.

Or front door straight into living rooms.

I find it odd we will be spending nearly 2k a year on heating we pay by direct debit and try and not be wastfeul would switch but think they as bad as one another and the hike always happens in winter.

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 20:18

The OP is cold.She doesn't need to hear that people who are struggling to pay their bills and are dreading the winter should stop buying fags and booze.

If you think I'm a bully,feel free to report me.

notagiraffe · 14/11/2013 20:37

But Youaremyfavourite what has really upset some people is married's massive bias - the one rule for us and another for them attitude she presents.

She wrote upthread:
It's a shame people don't take advice and help themselves - oh no it always has to be waiting with the hand held out and a massive sense of entitlement. Most people who have criticised on this thread think they should lead independent lives, think they should receive cash benefits, think they should be treated as adults. Unfortunately if you can't budget and if you can't put money aside over the summer when the heating bills are low then actually perhaps you shouldn't get cash in order to make independent decisions. Perhaps you should get food vouchers and heating vouchers and travel vouchers with no allowances for optional luxuries.

But fails to see how exactly the same judgements can and should be applied to the very rich, who are squeezing the very poor, out of nothing but sheer greed. How is it greedier and more feckless for a poor person to spend what they have on fags and booze than it is for a multinational to increase profits and give hefty payouts, despite the fact that those they are 'waiting with hand held out' to are on below living wage?

How is a desire to heat a family house to a tolerable standard a greater 'massive sense of entitlement' than shareholders thinking they 'deserve' ever increasing handouts for doing sod all.

Perhaps if the rich 'put money aside over the summer when heating bills are low' they would realise they have more than enough to licve comfortably and therefore don't need to 'be waiting with their hand held out' to the very poor who exist on zero hours contracts or minimum wage.

married you are aware aren't you that feckless, entitled multinationals pay minimum wage because they know they can 'wait with their hands held out' and a 'sense of massive entitlement' while they scrounge from the government, relying on them to top up wages with tax credits.

I'd be enormously grateful if you'd reply to these issues married and explain why it's OK to demand cash whilst giving nothing back if you are already wealthy and powerful but morally abhorrent if you are already poor and struggling.

(And just in case you think I'm a bitter, entitled wastrel, ftr I am one of the very fortunate ones, financially, socially, educationally, geographically - all that. It's just I don't think my sense of entitlement is more justified than anyone else's just because I can bray for England and pull strings if I choose.)

TheMildManneredMilitant · 14/11/2013 20:46

Everyone should be able to afford to live in a warm home, not least because those who don't risk some serious health conditions. It is the Government's problem because it is a social problem.
So sorry for everyone on this thread who is struggling, it is miserable being cold.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 14/11/2013 20:53

I dont need to report all of you. You are still ganging up on someone you dislike because you dislike what she thinks.

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 20:59

I do dislike what she thinks.

I hate her attitude towards poor people in fact.

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 21:02

The attitude she has shown on this thread I should say.

BaldricksTurnip · 14/11/2013 21:02

How dare anybody insinuate that the situation that the OP and millions of others are in is due to them being feckless, lazy and unable to budget properly. I'm just Shock and Angry.

If anybody reading this thread is in any doubt about what to do at the next general election, read marrieds posts, and then read them again. This is the Tory mindset. There really are people who genuinely think like this, and they are running your country.

LoveSewingBee · 14/11/2013 21:04

I haven't read the whole thread, but especially for those on prepayment meters, there are special heaters in which you place a gas bottle. They are mobile, eg you can put them in the room where you want them. They are far less expensive then electric heaters/prepayment meters.

You may already have tried the following but I think that warm drinks and warm feet are a great help. Ideally hand knitted jumpers/socks/proper woollen blanket combined with hot water bottles for during the night. Maybe a thermosflask with tea next to the bed. Maybe go to bed early if it is very cold. Wear a hat in the house (and in bed). If it happens to be dry weather then do air the house to get rid of all the excess moisture as you will get mould which is really not good for your health.

It is an utter disgrace that the liberalisation of utilities, with all the promises of better services and lower prices has resulted in this.

I hope that this winter will be mild.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 14/11/2013 21:24

Just caught up on this thread and I see married is knocking about, looking down her nose at people once more.

Nice comments, Married, really, really nice.

And as for 'bullying'. I wish people would stop bandying that word about every time a poster gets told they're wrong. The majority of people disagreeing with someone is not bullying ffs.

starsandunicorns · 14/11/2013 21:30

notagiraffe great post its the reason why i posted my post with reasons why i dont heat the house. married has not replied to mine

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 14/11/2013 21:31

I'm with you usual - married seems to be spouting the sort of victorian tripe that poor people are poor because they are stupid or lazy. Without taking any account of social inequality, and the many other factors that lead to poverty.

Married isn't xenia. Married- I've seen you on loads of threads - I know that both you and your dh have had extremely lucrative careers and have no fucking idea (or have forgotten) what it's like to have no money, "oh, have a gas fire fitted then" - do you know how crass and ignorant that sounds?

Fwiw Married- I'm in the same boat as you - dh is in the top 1% of earners, and we never worry about money now - but I remember what it was like to be utterly skint. I once hid in my wardrobe to avoid the landlord collecting rent when he entered the premises (probably illegally). You know none of us are immune from a fall from grace - you'd do well to remember that. You have no right to talk down to people like this. Your posts here disgust me.

WereTricksPotter · 14/11/2013 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 21:45

Sorry ,Beer.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 14/11/2013 21:47

Sorry Beer Grin

WereTricksPotter · 14/11/2013 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elskovs · 14/11/2013 21:54

Um, Sabrina, you could've summed that up by simply saying; "I disagree with you Married"

What do you mean she has "no right"? She doesn't need advance permission to state her valid opinion on a public forum, even if it does happen to veer from the general consensus. Her posts are pertinent and within the guidelines. The only issue is that you and a few others don't agree...

When are you people going to learn how the internet works?

LoveSewingBee · 14/11/2013 21:56

You don't kick people when they are down - just a matter of being civil I would think Hmm

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 21:57

I know how the internet works,it's why I disagreed with Married and told her.

I think you need to learn how MN works.

usualsuspect · 14/11/2013 21:58

And writing patronising posts doesn't score you points on the internet either.

Hth.

AthelstaneTheUnreadyFucker · 14/11/2013 21:59

See, Married, I can't afford to heat the house. I just can't. I work six days a week, on a little above minimum wage. After all the bills and direct debits and petrol etc go out, I have £43 a week to spend on food, heating, and natural disasters, such as flat tyres or vets bills. How, out of that, would I have saved over the Summer the £700 necessary to have the heating on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening every day until next Spring? As for 'over 20 degrees for 24 hours a day', please, I don't want a hernia to add to my problems.

I can't move because I would need at least £1500 in moving costs - see above. I can't get a job nearer home because I'm very rural. I can't get the bus because there isn't one. I don't smoke, if I want a drink I make my own wine (20p a litre), in fact I do feck all that isn't working or sleeping.

True, I could sell the 2 cats, ditch the secondhand laptop and broadband, and eat even less, but it won't make me enough to buy heating oil. The problem is not idleness, or drinking, or blooing cash on frivolity - the problem is that the cost of renting and energy, as a proportion of minimum wage, is not sustainable.

Crowler · 14/11/2013 22:05

You don't kick people when they are down - just a matter of being civil I would think

This summarizes my view. Even if I were to find some part of Married's posts that I agree with (I probably could), the tone is (as usual) patronizing and lacking in empathy. I'm fairly conservative but I hate hearing about people in poverty. I hate it. It fills me with guilt for my own good fortune, and I think that's just normal.

LoveSewingBee · 14/11/2013 22:06

Athel heating oil is ridiculously expensive and oil fired boilers tend to be very inefficient compared with gas fired boilers. If at all possible look at my link in my earlier post. I used to have one of these portable gas heaters and it really made such a difference.

I agree that it is an utter disgrace that people cannot afford to heat their homes anymore.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 14/11/2013 22:07

esksovs: Er hum...

I disagree with you.

Ok?