To stop at one child??

[lola1980]

I recently had my first baby at 33. I had numerous miscarriages prior to having her and had an awful pregnancy, so the thought of going through that again fills me with horror. I think if I was younger I may feel differently, but if I was to have another, well, the clock is ticking isn't it?

The crazy thing is that everyone, including my midwife (!) has been asking when I'm having another! People seem to be in genuine disbelief that I could choose to stop at one. They helpfully advise me that I will forget all about the tough bits and change my mind. I won't.

We've stopped at one.
I did have a little grieving period over the decision, but that has helped.

When anyone asks, I reply with, "if we win the lottery".

Which is not only the truth, but also shuts people up.

I'm with you in wanting to stop at one and wanting people to stop asking when I'm having another.

I was not maternal in any way, shape or form and didn't want children - which DH knew when he married me.

I woke up one day and it was like a switch had flicked and my brain said "you want a baby". I held off for about 4-6 months before discussing this with DH (I do have form for changing my mind so wanted to be sure in myself that it was what I did want).

We then had DS fairly soon after agreeing this, but again, after having him it was like a switch had been flicked and I have no further maternal urges.

I have resumed my career (with a very supportive employer) and just cannot see me wanting another; I found the baby stages very frustrating, and it's only now when DS is 3 that I'm starting to find things easier - but a lot more complicated at the same time!

I do sometimes feel it's a shame that DS won't have the relationship that DH has with BIL, but then, that only came about when they were over 20, so maybe not!

I was an only child, I find it almost insulting that people have so many pre conceived ideas about only children are like. I was never allowed to be a spoilt brat. I grew up being very close to my parents and have had a wonderful childhood.

However, just for balance. The only downside to being an only child has been found since we lost my father, I was only 23. I sometimes wish I could share some of the duties I now have and I wish that my mother had more children to spend time with.

If you only want one, stay at one.

I've also reeled out the fabulous: We'll have another baby when DH can get pregnant.