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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be very cross with a teenager who wouldn't get up for the remembrance service this morning

89 replies

Notmyidea · 10/11/2013 11:58

And tell her she needs to give up guides as she can't meet her obligations?

OP posts:
GoldenGytha · 11/11/2013 12:26

I was a Brownie, Guide then a Ranger,

It was not compulsory to attend Remembrance Services, but it was kind of expected that you would go, I always went, and so did my DDs when they were in these organisations.

Don't ever remember attending a St Andrew's Day service though.

I wear a poppy every year, as do my DDS, but I don't attend services any more, I think you can remember in your own way.

SparklyFucker · 11/11/2013 12:28

Though thankfully this suggests that the current religious policy will be dropped on 1st Jan next year, thank goodness!

Freddiefrog · 11/11/2013 12:31

Our service isn't held in church. There is a church service but Scouts aren't expected to attend.

They parade through our town, finishing at the war memorial where they have a short wreath laying service, 2 minutes silence, and the Last Post.

All Scouts (to a lesser extent Beavers and Cubs) are expected to attend, unless they have a very good reason. It's made very clear to everyone when they join what's expected of them. If they can get up in the morning to do the fun stuff, they can get up in the morning to do the less fun stuff

We parade once a year, we don't do St George's Day, it's just over an hour out of their lives once a year

Unplastered · 11/11/2013 12:32

The scout website states that Their religious policy encourages " 'Exploration and development' rather than Religious or faith specific education".
From January, Scouts will be able to Promise 'to uphold our Scout values' instead of 'duty to God' if they wish.
Read their website, theres been a few changes recently.

Unplastered · 11/11/2013 12:33

Sorry, sparklyfucker, cross post.

bonkersLFDT20 · 11/11/2013 12:34

The conversation with my (Explorer scout) son went a bit like this:

DS - I was meant to go to the Remembrance Service today
Me - I know
DS - Don't you mind that I didn't go?
Me - Yes, I do, but I didn't want the hassle of badgering you to go, making sure your uniform was all ready, driving you there etc, just for you to be miserable
DS - That's the right approach
Me - No, it isn't, but I'm fed up with you not doing as I ask and sitting at your lap top whenever you can.
DS (silence).

I feel bad, but at 14 he's got to start taking the responsibility for stuff like this. I think he got the message.

SparklyFucker · 11/11/2013 12:41

I can't wait for ds2 to be able to take a non-religious Beaver Promise - as it currently stands and for the next 6 weeks Scouting still discriminates on the basis of religion - members are required to believe in a higher deity/power - you cannot currently officially be an adult or child member of the Scouting movement if you are an atheist, as stated on the website. I'm also considering asking our Leader to re-invest ds1 with a non religious promise, but that might be nit picking a bit!

teacherandguideleader · 11/11/2013 12:47

I encouraged mine to go as a mark of respect (it is the one church parade I as an atheist go to).

Any who didn't I will assume had their reasons and would like to think they marked the occasion in another way. Church parade is not the only reason to do this and I would never force it.

Unplastered · 11/11/2013 12:55

Sparkly, it would not be nit picking at all :-)
Chances are they will all renew their promise fairly regularly anyway, probably thinking day will be the next 'official' time (22nd February).
I have got a group of Guides ready to make the Promise before Christmas and we will all be renewing our Promise at the same time - the Guide promise changed from 'to love my God' to 'to be true to myself and develop my beliefs' on 1st September.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 11/11/2013 12:56

Attending parades and services are part of the obligation. It was because of the requirement to attend Sunday services that my DD decided not to continue with Guides.

DS is in Army Cadets. Attending the parades is part of that. If he didnt want to attend the different parades then I would be telling him that he lacked commitment.

You dont get to pick and choose with many of these organisations. You are either all in or all out. You dont just get to do the fun bits.

Many remembrance day parades now depend on the youth organisations to actually continue.

DS spent Friday evening ironing his kit and polishing his boots then poppy selling on Saturday and remembrance parade on Sunday. He see this as part and parcel of being an Army Cadet.

JohnnyBarthes · 11/11/2013 12:58

Pilgit's post sums it up.

JohnnyBarthes · 11/11/2013 13:00

Ds went btw, despite his extreme aversion to churchiness. It was non-negotiable.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 11/11/2013 16:46

Fundamentally she joined guides and guiding for certain things, fun, camping etc. well there's other obligations expected via that organisation. Therefore she is bu. I agree she needs consequences and wider understanding of the organisation she has elected voluntarily to join explained.

Otherwise leave and join another one. Quite simple this one! :)

Andro · 11/11/2013 17:46

If you make a commitment you should follow it through!

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