Actually no you prick it's NOT ok to text me and cancel

[BitsinTatters]

So AIBU? Because I'm about to rant on here rather than say a single thing to him.

My ex text me yesterday afternoon saying he can't have dd this weekend as some thing had come up and he was unable to have her.

So DD (7) is pretty upset TBH. I've tried to distract etc

Found out its because he's gone away for a romantic weekend with his girl friend.

That's fine.

But why WHY did he take me to court and cost me thousands of pounds to gain access to a child he never wanted - force me to go through months of Cafcass evaluation (who recommended no direct contact) followed by supervised contact at a contact centre an hours drive from me - followed by months of ME having to supervise - followed by 2 hourly contact sessions taking 4 years to build up to over night contact.

During that time I was pregnant & then breast feeding a tiny baby while still dealing with his bull shit.

And it's not jealously btw. Seriously I have no feelings for this guy other than disgust. I left him, abusive arse (history of DV)

Poor DD :( he treats her like a fucking game to pick up and play with.

So I shall say nothing to him. As its pointless. But AIBU to be cross.

The wanker. Sorry OP not very constructive. I hope he gets crabs and a stomach upset on his weekend away.

It's absolutely reasonable to be mad as hell because he's clearly an arsehole. Your poor DD

Yanbu, what an idiot. Your poor dd.

Of course yanbu!

Not at all.

Possibly the only reason he did all that was to 'win'. To control you.

Not because he actually gave a shit about being in his child's life, but to 'punish' you. Now he's done all that, the only way left to hurt you is to piss about like this.

Some people don't deserve to have children.

YANBU twat

Him not you of course

YANBU. Rant away. He is a dickhead and your poor DD deserves better. I despise adults who don't take responsibilty for their actions where children are concerned - do what you will to other adults but not children.
People can be so selfish. Hope she's ok.

YANBU. He sounds like a selfish douche

He's a wanker

YANBU - despite all of the money to take you to court his actions speak louder than words. DD will see it eventually and he will lose his relationship with her if she is constantly at the bottom of his list.

At least your DD has you and I'm sure she will feel comfortable in her relationship with you.

Oops pressed send too soon - As she will always know that you've been there for her and love her.

Twat. Hope his new gf throws a drink over him for being an arse to your dd. hugs xx

OP i really feel for you. Fucking tosser he is. You need to have it out with him. Not this weekend. Let things calm (if you can). My d-ex did this a couple of times in the past (never did it more). Soon as he had girlfriend then weekends were all messed about because of his love life. And I believe you when you say its nothing to do with jealousy. Its the fact that he has put some woman before his child and messed dd about. Talk to the bastard in the week. Dont scream and shout. You need to be really really firm with him. If he does not like it then tough. You are her mother and you are the one that does the everyday stuff of looking after her. I have been in your position so I know exactly where you are at. Sorry for long post. I wish you all the best.

I won't say a thing. Because he is vile. We only communicate via text & email. Have done since I left him.

Of course if I had text him and cancelled him seeing her this weekend he would have probably threatened every nasty thing possible.

bitsin I do feel for you. I know what you mean. Alright for him to cancel but if you did he would kick off big stylee. Send him an email explaining that he is being unreasonable and not fair to his dd or respecting you as dd's mother. The cunt idiot obviously needs it spelling out.

"That's such a shame for you but great for me as it means that we can all go to the zoo tomorrow. So excited!"

If you don't say anything you are just letting him get away with it.

Convert your op into an email to send to him. Get angry!

Don't passively allow him to treat you/your dd like this.

Btw keep a record of every time he has missed contact and all the fickle reasons why. Just in case you ever need to cancel contact (family emergency or whatnot) and he decides to be an arse about it and threaten court- you then have a list of his failings and his threats will be rather lame.

It's not the easiest way to behave but you have to protect yourself from this prick.

History of DV? It was, and still is, all about control and nothing else. Sorry you have to have to fuckwit in your life and even sorrier for your DD.

I hope they're staying in the Hilton in Croydon, in the same room as viva and didn't bring their own teaspoons.

Just sayin'.

I feel better now :)

Happy to help, ma'am.

tips hat and moseys off into the sunset

Is your ex my ex BIL? Has he ever fucked off to the Far East to avoid the CSA?

Bits, you're cool.

He's a dick, you'll get used to dealing with the fallout. Rise above it. Why should this waster keep trying to control you? Don't let him.