To think this is a little odd, and rather rude actually?

[Selks]

I have my children's Grandmother and their Uncle (ex's brother and mother......don't ask!!) coming for Christmas Day.
The uncle is vegetarian and I have no problem whatsoever offering a good veggie option for him, happy to cater to his specific likes and dislikes in terms of the actual dish etc etc.
But my offer of cooking an option for him has been turned down - they reckon they will bring a supermarket ready meal veg lasagne for him.
AIBU to want to cook for everyone, provide a nice meal and not have a ready meal eaten at the Christmas dinner table? It feels like a snub towards my cooking quite frankly.
I'm a tolerant person and generally let stuff like this go, but this is irritating me. I would prefer to cook for everyone. Or am I being precious?

For anyone suggesting they are invited after Christmas dinner, that's not possible as they will have travelled from the other end of the country and will be staying in a B&B locally over the Christmas period.

It's fine for him to bring his own food if its what he wants - no insult to you and probably easier for you too.
Yeah, you are being precious about this and seeing an insult when there is none imo. Is there a back story to the relationship that is colouring how you see this?

Is there a chance that granny has thought it'd be a pain for you to cook something extra and decided he will bring something without consulting him? Maybe he's being told that you don't want to cook a veggie option. I would phone him and speak to him directly to see what's going on.

Microwaved bollocks doesn't sound very nice

I think he's trying to avoid putting you out as well! I think you're being a bit precious. But then I would imagine having your ex's mother and brother coming for Christmas lunch would put most people in a bad mood...

No, no back story Snog. Happy to accept that I am being precious.

I agree he is probably trying to make your life easier, and maybe he doesn't much like cooking himself so can't imagine your genuine desire to cater for everyone. I think you should accept that he's bringing the lasagne, but show you are thinking of him- ensure all sides and desserts are veggie (nb- mincemeat and christmas pudding may contain suet, most veggies won't want spuds roasted in animal fat, some desserts like mousse, cheesecake contain gelatine)

Microwaved bollocks doesn't sound very veggie!

Dh is veggie and always offers to take his own ' main bit' as he doesn't want to put folks out. He'd most certainly prefer home cooking.

Maybe ensure bil knows that you'd really like to cook.

YABVU. He thinks he's putting you to extra work and is trying to minimise it.

I know about the sides etc from being veggie myself previously, so no risk there.

I'm being VERY unreasonable Caitlin? I'm not insisting he eats my cooking.

You really would have to work very hard to make an insult out of this.

No , you're making a fuss out of an imaginary insult.

it is a bit of a snub. i'd be annoyed but relieved at the same time as having less to do. i wouldn't let him eat it out the plastic carton though - i would decant it.

Do you know mushroom Wellington was exactly what I was thinking, meat like in texture and so goes perfectly with a Christmas roast

I do something similar on the two occasions I have ever been able to cook myself something veggie for Christmas !!!

My dad and inlaws are all about the meat....or meats!!!!

Yabu.

This would not bother me at all. One less thing to prepare. I have vegetarian friends who are very strict....they do not even want their food cooked in a pan that has had meat in before, and we know some idiots think stupid things about vegetarians...like you can use meat stock or whatever preparing their food. Poor guy has probably had a bad experience before and just wants to enjoy his dinner knowing that is is properly vegetarian. He has no idea how respectful you will be of his dietary requirement so he is playing it safe. If you are a meat eater most of your pans will have had meat in at some time. Being a gracious host is providing what your guests would most enjoy I think so let him bring his meal.he will be happier this way so make the guy happy. It will not put you out at all, apart from your pride.....his comfort is worth more than your pride on this one I think.

I'd go with hearing it from the horses mouth - very possible non veggie exMIL thinks her DS is being a PITA eating veggie food at Xmas & has decided for him that he will bring his own to save you the hassle -

people who don't enjoy cooking tend to see it as a chore & don't understand that some of us actually enjoy the challenge & enjoy making good food for family & friends - she most likely means well, but it might not actually be exBILs choice at all

Why don't you just call the man and say: hey, I thought of this this and this for x-mas dinner. So far all you got in a tizz about is something another relative has said. Talk to the man himself.

I am veggie and yes, I would offer to bring my own main, not because you are a rubbish cook, but because I don't want to put you through more cooking on a very busy day for you anyway. I am actually being nice? But if you do go through the trouble, I would love you forever for it :).

One year I had ExH and his wife and mother together with DH's parents. They all got really preoccupied with making Christmas cocktails and ended up legless - the DCs think it was Best Christmas Ever.

How exactly will they be keeping this ready meal chilled in the B&B?

crank's bible has the best ever veggie lasagne i've ever tasted.

See, I would like to think that generally I agree with all the posters saying YABU. However, as dgmil brings a steak pie whenever she visits I understand how you feel.

Some people are veggie cos they are fussy, easier to take your own specific food if you have a reason to do so. Don't feel offended by it though, it's his taste buds that are missing out!

Less work for you! Don't worry about it OP.

Maybe, like me he's had bad experiences in the past - I've been given fish, chicken, potatoes cooked in goose fat, pastry made with lard, soup made with beef stock, cheesecake containing gelatine etc etc all by people who assured me that they understood what it means to be strict vegetarian (according to the Vegetarian Society definition). Even now, after 30 years, there are relatively few people I would trust - none of my DH's family for example, who even serve me meals containing the food to which I am allergic - and it can be stressful.

Obviously in your case OP you do understand the implications, but it's not always easy. And actually, I would feel a bit miffed in your shoes! It is a rejection of hospitality at one level, whatever the motivation.