AIBU to never trust this friend ever again and possibly revoke friend status.

[lolaisafuckertoo]

A long term friend (known each other from school and so on) has returned to near where we both grew up. She wants to build her own house, fine, she has put together enough money to do so. The build is sort of 3/4 along.Her DH is working but they have run out of liquid capital and she has asked me for 10,000.
Well, her DH WAS working till about a week ago. Turns out she knew he was about to get the chop (friends sister told me this) friend neglected to tell me this. IN essence she wanted MY money with no realistic time frame of repaying it. I hummed and hawed and then she said no more about it.
I didn't pull her on the fact she was willig to take my money basically take it, promise to pay it back but then not be able to KNOWINGLY
She is no friend yeah? Forgive or tell to fuck off out of it.

don't do anything with the friendship till you have your money back, get something drawn up with a solicitor so you have a signed agreement and get some payments back in form of a cheque from her which she notes as "loan repayment" - you need as much evidence as possible that this was a loan which she agreed to pay back.

You said no, so its a non issue really. You don't really know as you are basing your info on hearsay as to whether she was relying on her dh job to pay back. Possibly not, as otherwise they would take out a loan.

You dodged a bad situation there, so that's fine.

A friend once asked me to lend her 2k as she was desperate, no job, and wanted to do a course and maybe pay me back over the next 2 years. I said no and she said she would have to sell her jewellery. I still said no. It was a lot of money to me, and was to pay for emergencies. Plus I didn't have any assets to sell!

She was very cool with me after and is even now very frosty. She never did sell her jewellery as her xh stumped up, but has never been repaid.

Sometimes loaning large amounts from a friend IF they have the SPARE funds is no more than a cheaper easier option than a bank -
That's all it was in my own friends case - he could have raised the money with a bank etc, but the interest would have been much higher - he didn't actually come right out & ask though, told name his plans, hinted strongly & left it to me to offer - I had no problem offering as I had the money at the time in another bloody lifetime & he is a very very close friend & I trusted him, as I know his character & knew he would rather die than stitch me up - he paid back as was agreed & drawn up - which included a little to cover the interest I lost from not having it in my savings account - his circumstances had changed for the better by the end of it & he took me out to dinner several times over the years as a thank you too - so it doesn't always end badly - though as I said, he was never cheeky enough to actually ask

everlong that is is. I feel that she would have abused our friendship to get what she wanted knowing that she was not going to be in a financial position to really give me much more than a whenever sort of future idea of paying back.
As someone earlier, it doesn't matter how many agreements you have drawn up. NOt able to pay is still the same. What would I have to do? Send the bailiff in. REposess her house from under her or get in line with everyone else. Being her friend would not make me get any higher up a chain of people owed money. Yet, she was alright with that potentially happening.
THe question here is then, how much did she value our friendship?

Friend could not raise the bank loan.

lola your situation is very different to mine was, so you definitely did the right thing & as I said up thread I do totally understand why you are upset, I would be too, your friend does sound desperate, but it doesn't excuse it at all, but if it were me I would talk to her about it, let her know how you feel & take it from there. Sounds like she has a lot of stress going on, which doesn't always bring out the best in people & if this is the first time you've felt let down by her, then maybe don't throw the friendship away over this - if it's not the first time - then that's another matter all together - smaller straws broke the camels back

But the reason you don't know how she was intending to pay you back is because you never discussed how she would pay it back, because you said no to lending her the money in the first place (not unreasonable at all) - yet you are now prepared to cut her off over an imaginary consequence to even that never took place? That is a wee bit unreasonable OP ...