I must point out DS is now 9yo and in year 5. He's been extremely ill and diagnosed with tonsillitis at surgery. He was lying down on me but constantly twitching his legs and twiddling his fingers and occasionally instead of frequently! making noises.
Saw his old year R teacher - she was a complete cow to him and memorably punished him for pretend stinging a girl with a 'bee puppet' they had made - the girl cried. He was 4.1yo at the time.
School did point out he had poor social communication but despite my insistence thought it was 'something he'd learn as he matured' and she seemed to preferred the 'punish it out of him' approach. 
as opposed to something that he needed an IEP/support for.
Anyway she retired as he left year R and he left the infants just over 2 years ago.
She said Hi to DS who didn't recognise her. I reminded him she was his teacher in year R. DS just said 'oh' and laid back down. She asked him how juniors was and he said "fine".
She then said "your much quieter than you use to be but I see you still don't sit still" 
My simple reply was "I see you're still as judgemental as you use to be and continue to misunderstand children"
Ironically my DS is not quiet - he's quiet socially but is always talking to himself, his Ipad 
or generally making low level noises. He does sit very well now.
Most importantly thanks to the correct support he's getting is doing extremely well in school and is part way towards a diagnosis of ASD.
AIBU?
To have said this to DS' Yr R teacher in GP surgery today?
youarewinning · 08/11/2013 22:19
Boffin You've just made my day and I really must stop drinking coffee whilst MNing!
I understand what your saying MrsL You do only have my word. And I'm not saying the school didn't recognise DS had needs - they did, both announcing he had poor social communication (which I had suspected) and at risk of dyslexia after DEST. (now not at risk 
) Just that their methods of 'teaching' him these skills won't work for a child with ASD - which obviously at the time we weren't aware of - although we knew there was something iyswim? I felt their tactics were harsh and led to a 4yo having school refusal as he simply couldn't understand "why the teacher hates me". Not every teacher since then has been able to understand or help my DS - but at least they have tried.
His teacher last year, a fairly new teacher didn't really understand my DS' needs or ASD (and she got the hard job of being his teacher as it went from SN to probable DX of what SN). She did give him sanctions for things he did related to his ASD and his anxiousness levels were high during the school year - however she also spent time after school with him helping him settle into school clubs.
For me it's not about getting it right - its about the willingness to at least try and help him.
Thanks MrsL I'm fully aware my reaction was rude, probably called for - but very mistimed! I honestly have no problem with accepting some posters think IWBU as I did ask! I just had a problem with people accusing me of lying/ exaggerating (or whatever) my reasons behind the remark. I don't think the reasons justify my response; they were just the facts about why I responded as I did.
Turns out many people think I was right, I however still feel it was said at wrong place and wrong time like 5 years too late and as you said - outloud . But I've said it now and this thread has been therapeutic if nothing else in sorting out feelings I didn't realise I'd not worked through.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.