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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to not change the bedding?

54 replies

LouiseD29 · 08/11/2013 19:01

MIL has been staying in our spare room for a couple of nights. She left this morning and I have a friend coming to stay tomorrow night. WIBU not to put clean bedding on for friend? Or maybe just fresh pillowcases? MIL is pretty clean.

Just for background, I have a 12 week old DD and our washing machine is on the blink (think it's just the plug fuse, but not had chance to look at it yet).

So, AIBU? Or is that just a bit icky of me?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 08/11/2013 19:41

Well aren't you the hostess with the mostest ! Grin

Change the sheets you dirty mare.

Original poster
LouiseD29 · 08/11/2013 19:43

Pah. You're all right, obviously. I do normally always change the bedding, I'm just exhausted and can't be arsed doing it AGAIN and was hoping you'd all tell me it was totally fine so I could get out of it and just stay on the sofa.

We do have a spare clean set so I will get to it. Any minute now...

OP posts:
ILetHimKeep20Quid · 08/11/2013 19:45

It'll be done in under 5 minutes!

Strumpetron · 08/11/2013 19:45

Actually in light of me actually bothering to read your post properly (sorry I blame the vodka) you'd not be unreasonable. If she's a good friend she wouldn't mind.

YesterdayI · 08/11/2013 19:45

I have sometimes not changed the sheets for the kids friends. They were forever having sleepovers and I couldn't be bothered Confused just for a night. I would give them a clean pillowcase but not always bother with the sheets.
I would always change adults or teens sheets though.

Original poster
LouiseD29 · 08/11/2013 19:46

Will you come round and do it for me Smile?

OP posts:
Beccadugs · 08/11/2013 19:46

If you've got a clean set, and a tiny baby leave them on the bed and ask friend to help by changing... I will be doing this to best friend as have SPD and can't physically change the bed at the mo!

Ineedanewone · 08/11/2013 19:48

If I was your friend I wouldn't mind, especially of you said to me "sorry friend but I am knacked. Would you be a love and change the bed while I open a bottle of wine or put the kettle on?"

breatheslowly · 08/11/2013 19:48

Definitely ask her to do it herself.

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 08/11/2013 19:49

Different Body=Different Bedding.

We slept at DSMs house once and sheets had clearly not been changed.
We had to get on top of the duvet with our coats over the top of us.
Eeuuuw.

That said if a friend said bring a sleeping bag or linen, then I'd rather that than being expected to put up with secondhand occupancy.

TortillasAndChocolate · 08/11/2013 19:53

I would have told you to just go for it! As long as they Iook clean, who will know?!

I've had a friend to stay before and then my sister the following night and not changed sheets - my sister really wouldn't care though, she is just chilled about everything.

Anyway, if you can be bothered, change them, if not, don't feel guilty. Sorry everyone to go against the grain!

LadyRochford · 08/11/2013 19:55

Take old ones off. Leave new ones on the bed and ask her to put them on. Totally reasonable to ask her to do it. Not reasonable to just leave old ones.

Strumpetron · 08/11/2013 20:04

This reminds me of the first time I ever went back to now DP's house.

The bed was stripped, no sheets or anything. I had to help him make it (he lived with his mum at the time) Surely I should have gone running?

3 years later we're happy and in our own place and he actually makes the bed although makes it into so much hard work

Original poster
LouiseD29 · 08/11/2013 20:05

It's one of my least favourite chores. DH always says he'll do it and then it gets to end of evening, bed is unmade and guest will be sitting yawning on sofa while he natters on oblivious, so I always end up sneaking off to do it.

OP posts:
rubyflipper · 08/11/2013 21:20

Go to the supermarket and get some bedding (and a spare fuse for the plug).

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps · 08/11/2013 21:24

YABU but if she's a real friend she won't mind bringing her own if you tell her the situation. I would always prefer my own sheets because I'm funny about stuff like that but would never so it unless I was asked. Often bring my own pillow and pillowcase though.

invicta · 08/11/2013 21:27

My mum wouldn't change the bedding, but I would.

For one night, why don't you change the mattress sheet, but ask the visitor to bring a sleeping bag. With a 12 week old, and a broken washing machine, I am sure she would understand. If we visit friends for one night, we quite regularly take our sleeping bags/duvets.

Original poster
LouiseD29 · 08/11/2013 21:28

Actually, thinking about it, this particular friend - when she had her first baby she instructed all guests to bring round food and to do some housework while they were there (I took cake, milk and cheese and did all her washing up). I realise DD is not strictly newborn anymore, but I don't think IWBU to ask her to make her own bed.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 08/11/2013 21:30

Normally I would say it was skanky not to change the bedding, but under the circumstances I would turn the sheets and duvet over and just change the pillowcases.

rockybalboa · 08/11/2013 21:50

Icky. You have to change the sheets between guests, bleurgh!!

Tiptops · 08/11/2013 21:56

Yabu reusing sheets for different people is really quite disgusting. I'd be mortified if someone expected me to sleep in second hand sheets.

Mumsyblouse · 08/11/2013 21:58

Do the bed change together at the end of the evening, it will be more fun that way (as fun as a bed change can be, anyway).

Donkeyok · 08/11/2013 22:02

I don't like the idea of turning sheets over. Do people really do this?

Sheets are quite thin and if you weren't happy with what was on them (pint of sweat Shock) why would you want that on your matress or matress protector?

EBearhug · 08/11/2013 22:06

YABU if you don't tell her. If you explain that the wm is broken and ask if she can bring her own sheets or if she minds sleeping in MIL's sheets, then YANBU.

I would always expect to have clean sheets unless there are mitigating circumstances which I've been told about.

Aniseeda · 08/11/2013 22:06

If mil often stays, you could fold the sheets she's used and put them away to be used by her again next time she comes, that'd save you some washing.

If I was your friend, I'd be very happy to bring my own bedding/make the bed up myself.

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