To ask how on top of things you are?

[Allthebees]

My dad just rolled his eyes when I said our chilli plant had died. He's retired and bored. I work 4 days pw and have a 2 year old.

I also need to get rid of the virus on my laptop but haven't got time to work out how to do it, namely because I don't have time to use the bloody thing (my phone is sufficient for all my "computing" needs). He asks every time if I've done it yet "it won't take you long".

He continually asks if I've got into any number of tv shows/series/films. He's always asking if I've done / sorted this that and the other and I never have

Seriously, he does not get how much of a struggle it is to keep up with life in general and that a dead chilli plant is the least of my worries. I love my dear old dad but geez he has no concept of how much I have to juggle and how those things simply can't be a priority to me.

Am I failing because I let the chilli plant die? Should I be more on top of things?

How on top of things are you?!

Oh MIL worries about our allotment. It's huge and we've obviously taken too much on Dp and I both work FT but dss are teenagers so don't need that much looking after. And they help sometimes.

Our house is a bit cluttered but we're onto that. Our joiner's making us some floor to ceiling cupboards to store stuff. Plus lots of decluttering's been going on.

I second 'flylady', I don't do half the things she suggests as I am just not that interested in housework, but I have picked up some really good tips which help me just about keep on top of the chaos and I am not too embarrassed when friends call in unexpectedly for the first time in years. I like the fact she tells you how to cut corners as I thought you had to do housework properly and didn't have time, so just didn't do it as it was too overwhelming, whereas I can 'swish and swipe' a bathroom in about 1/2 minutes max.

But I am not on top of things, they are on top of me as the list grows longer daily and even though I am quite efficient, there's always another bill, another letter from the school, car insurance, endless work chores, birthdays etc etc.

I can't even see the top of things

TBH I can't remember the last time I saw the middle of things

Dad actually gave us the chilli plant. His are apparently flowering like nothing he's ever seen before. I told him that anything plant related is DH's area because I don't have the interest in anything like that and that DH is a bit more green fingered than me. He then asked if I knew how often DH waters it?

Because on top of discussing work, childcare, food shopping, decorating, dd's upcoming birthday, Christmas looming, watering the fricking chilli plant is high up on our agenda.

I wouldn't mind but my dad is the biggest faffer in the world. He took on fitting their new kitchen, which he sourced etc himself. It took 2 years. My poor stepmum cooked off a gas camping stove for 2 years.

Yet I get an eye roll for killing a plant!!!

Shoot me now!!

still find time to MN though obv and have been considering getting a couple of kittens so I guess it comes down to priorities

How on top of things am I? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

That is all.

Hard as it is...fuck what anyone else thinks....as long as you're doing the best you can with what is important and relevant to you in your life that's good enough.

My dad goes one up and moans when I can't fit in things he wants me to do at his house either. I have a 19 mo and work ft as does Dp. Df is retired yet I still get constant requests for jobs. He's reminded me about eleventy billion times that he can't work out how to use his new call blocker gadget.

STOP FECKING BUYING STUFF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE EXPECT ME TO SORT IT! He even had me at his dps house a few weeks ago trying to fix her ipod.

Then he says things like 'you should really watch xyz you know'. As uf I have

Sorry! As if I have time! God love him he's a lovely dad but totally clueless.

and breath.

YANBU. My DParents used to be like this, then they cared for my DC for a month after I had medical treatment

They had the weekends free during that month, as my lovely brothers and sister helped out, plus there are of course 2 of them (I'm a LP), and they are both retired.

They never tut any more about the state of my house, or the fact my grass could do with mowing, or my ironing basket could give Everest a run for it's money. They just roll up their sleeves and help.

Was totally shit being I'll for a month, but that is the one benefit...a weekend away, leaving dd with gps may even be enough to remind them why you're more buried under it, than efficiently. on top of it

I get all this from my mum. I think when they get to a certain age, they have not that much to think about except what others are doing. I think he loves you dearly and all the stuff he says is his way of showing an interest in you. In his funny little way. Probably bored so focuses his thoughts on what you are doing/not doing. Just remember when they are gone we can never get them back.

I have friends and family members that do this all the time & it drives me mad.

I try to remember that there is always someone worse off busier then me but I am kept busy working ft with 5yr old ds plus the running of the house, 2dogs, charity work, helping care for sick nan & the side work projects I do too.

When my side gate still isn't fixed and my dad moans I feel like ripping his head off! He never says it to DH, always to me! And the friends that I can see roll their eyes when I say I can't meet up the following week as I have all the above plus parents evening, birthday, meetings etc.

I forget what 'bored' is. I would love to feel bored.

Ha. I'm buried so far under it all that when asked what I want for Christmas I asked for a ladder or some help with the DC!

I'm returning to work FT in condensed hours in January, my DC will be 3.5years and 7mo. DH has just been made redundant. We moved house last year and have one entire room dedicated to boxes. I have encouraged all paperwork to gather in one gloomy corner where I can ignore it, but I'm beginning to become concerned I'm forgetting something big.

On the face of day to day life we are all fed and wear clean clothes, the kitchen and bathroom are ok, the playroom is cleaned relatively regularly. I remember days out and nursery activities. We do messy play and crafts.

But the beautiful fabric I bought to make a blind from sits lost in a bag by the sofa.

I'm reasonably on top of things most of the time. However, ironically, this is because i suspect i have undiagnosed adhd and i have spent much of the year since i came to this conclusion doing self-help strategies and therefore work my way religiously through daily lists of jobs.

My natural state is shoving everything in a cupboard, slamming the door on it and pretending it does 't exist (literally and metaphorically). Acknowledging this has been the catalyst for a lot of positive change

Oh and i have also learnt to say no. I am very impulsive (classic adhd trait) and therefore have always had a tendency to take on far too much and then not follow through. It's been a hard lesson but i'm really doing well

A monumental fuck up at work combined with a very difficult and stressful june/july led to a mid-life revolution :)

I am literally on top of it all, because it's all over the floor and I can't pick any of it up while the baby is in the sling!

As lots of others have said, we have clean clothes, meals, preschool things sorted, kitchen and bathroom are clean. I haven't killed my peace lily because I moved it to the kitchen window sill, so I water it when I over fill the kettle (before boiling!) Projects and hobbies are long forgotten at the moment. My evening downtime is 7-8pm (go to bed at 8, while we have night feeds) during which I watch an episode or two of something while folding the laundry, meal planning, writing shopping lists, basically anything that doesn't involve me having to stand up!

We are supposed to be having a "Big Tidy" this weekend, because the state of the house is really starting to grate.

Get the kittens! Get the kittens!

(Rescue ones, obvs.)

My dad's retired hardly ever hear from him, he's always off on some mountain trekking adventure or other.
He's also one of the least judgmental people I know and has never criticized or nagged me.
I am on top of things generally but then I do have a fairly quiet and simple life so not much to get on top of!

everlong

you can have that medal but surely I win "most unpaired socks in a box"!

We were in our last flat for 20 months and had a frame up on the wall for all of that time... With no pictures in it.............