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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel alone in a sea of Kath Kidson

133 replies

PeriodFeatures · 07/11/2013 18:39

everyones child has a toy called sophie....

I don't want to talk about baby food and really don't care what kind of bloody pram you have got.

How can that 'Yummy Mummy' bag be any compensation for not being able to carry a proper handbag anymore..

'would you like a drink'

'I'd love a coffee..'....
.'yes we have some de-caf,'
(I don't want de-caf I want fucking caffine you cunts)

OP posts:

ubik · 07/11/2013 20:59

I think an anti yummy perspective is a fabulous thing. More of it please. Less of this child-as-lifestyle shite

BonaDrag · 07/11/2013 21:02

Awwww, my Nct group are a bit like this but then we are all just finding our way. I'm the only one without the designer pram/bag/dribble bib and they've never made me feel bad that I'm clearly the poor relation.

Sorry OP, while I see your point I'm going so say YABU because most of these women are first time mothers and are probably just trying to fit in.

Original poster

PeriodFeatures · 07/11/2013 21:15

HelloLA

Mostly at the moment I'm neurotically worrying that I'm going to give DD an attachment disorder because i'm looking at MN while breastfeeding.....................or feeling guilty about something else like being in a semi permanent state of low simmering anger towards DH for no reason other than he exists.....or wondering whether she'll grow up feeling like she has the oldest parents in the whole world in a home so full of accumulated tat that to her it will appear as if she is living in a 'ye olde shop of curios ...that kind of thing....i don't feel cool. i feel weird.

OP posts:

Original poster

PeriodFeatures · 07/11/2013 21:18

ubik If i saw you in a group with your asda bad and guardian, i would feel o.k...

OP posts:

drawohamme · 07/11/2013 21:21

Get yourself a melobaby OP, it fits in your metallic top shop ruck sack, your primarni mulberry knock off and with a bit of a shove, DH's man bag

TarkaTheOtter · 07/11/2013 21:24

helloLA spot on

SignoraStronza · 07/11/2013 21:25

Dc1 was given one of those bloody giraffes (I was reliably informed that every French baby has one). The squeaker fell out of it the first time she touched it. I DO always swore of dc2 received one then the dog would be receiving a nice new toy.

Loathe Kidston prints. Use a rucksack that is manly enough for dh to share.

Need caffeine, although when pg with dc1 I did limit it to one cappuccino and one espresso for breakfast, plus one more coffee at lunchtime. Clearly didn't have any effect on her ' lazy little bugger .

As for the pram... I used slings and got asked why I couldn't afford one.

gastrognome · 07/11/2013 21:31

Sophie the giraffe is just a classic French kids toy. Hasn't been redesigned since the 50s, from the looks of it. Both my kids loved Sohpie from a really young age, as it is a perfect teething toy. Nothing to do with being a yummy mummy. Just a toy.

And I drink decaf.

MulberryHag · 07/11/2013 21:34

PeriodFeatures In all honesty, I think I struck gold with my lot.
When asked by our NCT teacher at our first session what we were hoping "to get out of" NCT classes, one of us piped up "I'm here to make friends!" and I said "tell me about epidurals!"
We were frowned upon.

But that sums us up. We have bugaboos, two iCandys, a McClaren, Yummy Mummy bag, a Stork bag and a accessorize on sale bag, loads of Sophie's and some Emma bridgewater but we are NORMAL and constantly ragging each other and taking the piss .

We just like to have a laugh and we don't care who's got what.

On an aside-I'm the "poor" one of the group and have never felt it even for one second. and every time I accidentally sit on Sophie and she squeeks I feel a great deal of satisfaction

Inglori0us · 07/11/2013 21:35

You can "kill" a Sophie squeaker but putting it in boiling water. TFFT.

yadahyadah · 07/11/2013 21:35

YANBU. Run fast. The bunting brigade, God love 'em, is not where it's at. Wait it out and don't drop your standards. Just when you think you are the only norman normal stranded in catalogue-based Mumtopia, another will wash up on the shore. In the meantime, you have my double-strength expresso-based sympathy.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/11/2013 21:36

HelloLA: this is not people posing, this is people letting off steam. All this moaning is just chit-chat, not a statement. you only have to read half the threads on here to realise a lot of it is people getting getting het up about the most trivial stuff with their tongue firmly in their cheek, but feeling better for it.

HelloLA · 07/11/2013 21:36

Sorry, ubik, I forgot the crucial detail about the MacLaren being covered with Greggs crumbs. You might want to add something about not minding if pram toys fall into a big puddle of radioactive waste (just blow on it!), and maybe a reference to drinking whiskey from a tooth-mug/sippy cup/hipflask (Jilly Cooper heroine/anti-yummy-mummy crossover).

The whole Anti Yummy Mummy thing is not a refreshing perspective. It's just the flipside of the Yummy Mummy coin: more bragging (or humblebragging) about your awesomeness, more judging other women for their choices.

PeriodFeatures, that sounds like a fairly standard list of concerns! So why the fuck care about rubber giraffes?

I'm very much feeling the 'semi permanent state of low simmering anger towards DH', though. Coincidentally, a friend with a similar age DD (4 months) mentioned the same yesterday. Is it a hormonal thing?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/11/2013 21:39

[shakes head]. HelloLA, you're taking this far too seriously, m'dear.

camtt · 07/11/2013 21:43

The great thing about Sophie is that she perishes. I picked up a couple in a french hypermarket for quite a cheap price some years ago as a present for my niece and one for DS. DS had no interest and when I came to try it out on DD a coupe of years later, Sophie had gone all dry and cracked. Luckily someone gave us another as a present. DD wasn't any more interested than DS, but I thought it was quite a cute toy.

Original poster

PeriodFeatures · 07/11/2013 21:48

MulberryHag was thinking after your post i might just hang in there but i'm probably going to have to go with yadahyadah as i'm not equipped for that sea

Thanks Curly The problem is you spot someone and think they are o.k, but then the squeaky giraffe comes out or they start talking about buggy brands or look shocked that you drink wine and breastfeed

is that really standard concerns HelloLA that's a relief.

OP posts:

ubik · 07/11/2013 21:48

I don't agree

yummymummy is all about marketing, it's about selling stuff that marks you out as a certain person with a certain lifestyle - it is the elaboration of 'child as lifestyle accessory' shite that's flogged everywhere. It is a badge which shows you can afford £80 for a change back and £800 for a buggy (but you make your playdo from scratch). Eve

What I described doing at toddler group with DD3 is absolutely true. And true of many parents with 3 children under 5. It was not a judgement of the people there, but an indication that I was working, doing school run and getting to toddlers with just the basics in a plastic bag and enjoying an hour to myself reading the paper. It is an indication that in order to fit in a nap for DD3 before next school run I would sometimes get her a pie and some water and she would sleep in the pushchair afterwards. And I am sure I was judged for it.

And I would not equate giving my daughter a cheese pie with dropping her toys in radioactive piss (or whatever) - you are displaying some value judgements of your own there.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 07/11/2013 21:50

I have a bugaboo.

I'm not a dickhead.

HelloLA · 07/11/2013 21:53

CurlyhairedAssassin, I'm laughing at the inverse snobbery of it all, m'darling. At least actual snobbery is a bit more honest and up-front.

ubik · 07/11/2013 21:54

No of course you are not a dickhead. This isn't personal, but about the lifestyle marketing of all this..

But I'm tired and I need to go to bed. Am probably wrong about all this anyway

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 07/11/2013 22:01

It's 9 years old though, that makes me ok. I did contemplate another baby for a donkey though.

wamabama · 07/11/2013 22:04

Oi, Sophie is the best! And I do have some of the Cath Kidston kids clothes because some of the prints are adorable.

Also some have decaf for health reasons. My mum can't have caffeine because of her dodgy ticker.

BUT I loathe the term 'yummy mummy', never cared for changing bags and I couldn't care less about usual baby crap talk. Weaning, prams...snore. Some people are just so absorbed in their DC they can't say anything that doesn't involve children. That scares me. It's as if their personality was zapped during labour .

QuintesKabooom · 07/11/2013 22:05

I cant stand Kidston. Love Sophie Allport though.

Original poster

PeriodFeatures · 07/11/2013 22:08

ubik You are not wrong. Hello it's not snobbery it's an impenetrable wall of ephemera and bollocks that means I feel i can't have a normal conversation and a laugh which really is what i need.... or feel normal for liking a glass of wine or coffee. It's not heroin FFS but it might as well be.

OP posts:

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 07/11/2013 22:09

I once had a Cath Kidston bag because I thought it was pretty.

But obviously any time I used it other people thought I was brandishing my lifestyle choice.

I didn't realise that. I'll go and buy a designer bag so I can brandish with a little more flourish.

See, the trouble with not giving a shit what other people think of you is forgetting that other people do give a shit. And that they judge you before they've even met you.

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