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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I? Because DD thinks I am BVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU

45 replies

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 05/11/2013 16:35

She is 12.

She would like to go to town with a few friends to an overpriced firework show. With no adult.

I have said no.

She is DEVASTATED.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 05/11/2013 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dobbiesmum · 05/11/2013 16:38

If you are so am I, told DS he's not going anywhere tonight. He's currently on the X box complaining with his friends. Who are also not allowed to go out. Too many numpties letting off fireworks since mid afternoon round here for my liking.

Flicktheswitch · 05/11/2013 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklymommy · 05/11/2013 16:40

Yanbu. However could you not reach a compromise? Go with her.

fieldfare · 05/11/2013 16:41

No at 12, more likely to be yes at 14 ish, depending on the nature of the child. Stroppy mares will be made to wait longer!

FeckOffCup · 05/11/2013 16:42

I'm not sure, how far is town, walkable or would you be able to give a lift to DD and her friends and pick them up. Does she have a mobile and is she generally sensible? Would she be willing to do chores to earn the ticket money?

NewtRipley · 05/11/2013 16:42

Can you go with them and let them go off and meet you later?

RedHelenB · 05/11/2013 16:42

12 yr 8 with sensible friend i would 12 year 7 then no.

DameDeepRedBetty · 05/11/2013 16:43

No mention of fireworks by dtds. I think they're happier with the Wii.

Cold and miserable out there, hope it's nicer by Friday when we're going to the one at their old primary school.

Northumberlandlass · 05/11/2013 16:43

I need more info before deciding.

What time do fireworks start / finish ?
How would she get there & back?
What size 'Town' are we talking about?
What kind of display is it ?
Is she paying for it herself?

Smile
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/11/2013 16:43

If it a properly organised display then YABU

KittyLane1 · 05/11/2013 16:47

Are her friends actually allowed to go or are they all talk? Would she accepted a life there and back so you can know where she is going and what times etc?

If its an organised event and she is going with a sensible group then yes I would let her go

Original poster
CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 05/11/2013 16:47

town is twenty minutes away on the bus.

Sparkly - I have been working, I have a younger DS it would be too late for, it's a school night and I couldn't afford nearly £30 for all of us so taking her is not an option.

OP posts:
NewtRipley · 05/11/2013 16:48

TBH, an organised display is not inherently dangerous. It would depend on the child and how much independence they'd had before, etc.

DS1 yes, DS2, not so much ...

Justforlaughs · 05/11/2013 16:52

Honestly, I would let MY 12yo go, but I don't live where you do (or I don't think so anyway) and MY 12 yo isn't yours. Totally depends on the child, how easy the trip is, how many of them would be going etc, etc. I wouldn't judge you either way.

Original poster
CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 05/11/2013 16:52

Oh cross posted loads.

She is year 8 but not the most sensible girl - never naughty but over excitable and keen to cause a laugh tbh.

Starts at 6 and finishes round 9 but the place gets very very busy at the end and I know it would take her a while to get out the grounds and the first couple of buses would be packed too.

Oh and she has no mobile - lost it on the beach.

OP posts:
dexter73 · 05/11/2013 16:53

Yanbu - it is up to you, but I would have probably let her go!

dexter73 · 05/11/2013 16:53

Well no mobile, no fireworks.

TigOldBitties · 05/11/2013 16:54

YABU I would let her go. Whats the problem you think she's too young to be out alone? You don't like fireworks?

If she has a phone, and knows the route well then I don't see the problem.

FeckOffCup · 05/11/2013 16:56

In that case I agree with you, if you can't pick her up after and she can't contact you in case of transport difficulties meaning you would be sat at home worrying she wouldn't be going.

NewtRipley · 05/11/2013 16:58

I also agree with you, OP

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 05/11/2013 16:59

DD1 is only 10 and I can already tell that I am going to be a Very Unreasonable Mother.

YADNBU, especially with no mobile!

AgentZigzag · 05/11/2013 17:00

I'm with Dexter, no phone, no fireworks.

Plus it's very late to be out getting the 20 mins away bus on a school night (urgh, I sound like my parents Grin)

It'll teach her to take more care of her mobile

Original poster
CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 05/11/2013 17:02

I don't drive and don't want to be dragging DS out that late to meet her and I know I'd be pacing until she got home safe so it would be an awful night for me.

I think she is too young to be out that late with no adult. I know her and I know the girls she wants to go with. They all seem to think they are much older then they are and I don't trust them to make good choices because of that.

I'm sure I'll be the worst mother ever for the rest of the week. Then she'll love me again :)

OP posts:
dubstarr73 · 05/11/2013 17:05

Could you let her go and let her leave at 8 to pick her up.Or at least get the bus.It wont be as busy and she will definitely get the bus.