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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off with friend's husband's comments?

51 replies

CeliaFate · 04/11/2013 17:53

Everytime we socialise with this couple the husband makes comments to me inferring I'm lazy, spoiled and a princess. I'm not.

I work part time (lazy), we live in a nice house (spoiled) and dh is a good husband (princess).
He says things like "Celia can do it, it'll give her something to do."
Or, "Celia, let your dh sit down, he's been working all day."
He's a caveman type of bloke, I wouldn't normally have anything to do wiht him but he comes as a part of the group iyswim.
It's getting to the stage where I'll either snap and insult him or stop seeing them.

They're not close friends, more than acquaintances.

AIBU? WWYD?

OP posts:

ApocalypseThen · 04/11/2013 17:58

He's a bully and you're quite right to be irritated. I know this is quite hard, but I think you do need to put down a marker to make it clear that you've tolerated his rudeness for the sake of harmony long enough, but it's time for him to stop.

wheretoyougonow · 04/11/2013 18:00

OMG are you socialising with my FIL?!!

Topseyt · 04/11/2013 18:02

Very irritating. I would be tempted to tell him you are fed up of his clever-dick remarks and would he mind backing off please.

If any more come your way after that then rise above it and pay him no attention at all.

LauraTrashley · 04/11/2013 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KeemaNaanAndCurryon · 04/11/2013 18:09

I know someone like that. Small little man that he is. Sadly he's married to my friend so I'm stuck having to know him.

He's an arse. You can't change him and I'd like to say call him on it, but avoiding works too!

Rosencrantz · 04/11/2013 18:10

Practice saying 'fuck off' OP.

APartridgeAmongThePigeons · 04/11/2013 18:11

Say something..

He's a cunt. Stop hanging out with him

expatinscotland · 04/11/2013 18:11

I would tell him to fuck off and stop socialising with them, tbh.

Darkesteyes · 04/11/2013 18:11

Surely if this prick "approves" of women leading a 1950s life then why is he not "having a go" at you for working. Seems to me hes an abusive arsehole who wants to cherry pick the good bits of a 1950s lifestyle and leave the shitty bits.
Ask him why he thinks you only working part time is lazy because surely in the 1950s styleee you shouldnt be working at all.

AlexaChelsea · 04/11/2013 18:12

What does your DH say?

FoofGoesPoof · 04/11/2013 18:14

My MIL thinks I'm a brat who has been spoiled because I refused to sleep on a damp mattress on a damp floor whilst pregnant.
I'd confront him! If you can't do that, have a word with your friend?

BadgersRetreat · 04/11/2013 18:14

he probably fancies you - you know how the little boys in the playground are mean to the girls they fancy

Darkesteyes · 04/11/2013 18:16

Foof was there an element of jealousy at play Did your MIL have to do that so somehow thought that you should.
Its a shitty attitude for her to have.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 04/11/2013 18:17

Just smile sweetly and come out with the MN standard 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 04/11/2013 18:18

Dear God.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/11/2013 18:21

Could you confront him? Say something along the lines of, "Fred (Flintstone) - please have the manners to treat me with respect in my own home. My and dh's marriage and home life are none of your business, and if you cannot respect that, you will no longer be welcome in my home!"

dreamingbohemian · 04/11/2013 18:21

Oh god, just dump them

Life is too short to socialise with twats

Or can't you just see your friend on her own?

FoofGoesPoof · 04/11/2013 18:21

Darkesteyes, me & hubby lived with her at the time and because I didn't have to sleep on the floor in my own mothers house she thought I was spoiled. She had a nice, big double bed but expected her son to sleep on a damp floor.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 04/11/2013 18:24

My Dad had a friend like this, who would turn up out of the blue at our house and outstay his welcome stay for hours. While there he'd actually issue orders to me and my siblings to make cups of tea! He'd say 'go and make a cup of tea Heart'. There would be no please, or thank you when he got it and the fact that he thought it was ok to order someone else's child around like that has always struck me as really rude.

I put a stop to it when I was 19. We'd moved house. I'd been up since 6.00 helping my parents with the the move and he thought he'd just drop in to the new house (at about 11 pm) and start ordering people around, as per usual. It got to 1am and he'd made me cry by barking at me about something. He told me to go and make a drink and I just flat refused. He was stunned and I think he expected my Dad to make me do it (he treated all the women in his family like that and thought my Dad should do the same with his). Never made the man a cup of tea again and was only ever borderline polite to him after that.

Sexist, arse of a man. And he looked like a garden gnome to boot

bigbuttons · 04/11/2013 18:24

The next time he makes a barbed comment I would try this: Simply and calmly say something like" That's an interesting thing to say.Please can you explain exactly what you mean by that?" Or " that's interesting, what would make you think that I don't let my husband sit down'?
If he tries to talk his way out of it, don't let him, ask again " did you mean to imply that I don't do anything/ contribute/ etc etc?
Really get him to explain the comment. It will really really embarrass the hell out of him and make him look an absolute fool.
Call him on it every single time, but be clever about it, good luck, he needs bringing down, that's for sure.

CbeebiesIsMyLife · 04/11/2013 18:32

Heart, why didn't your dad stop him before that?

Heartbrokenmum73 · 04/11/2013 18:34

CBeebies - I've asked myself (and my Dad) that and he said it was because his friend didn't mean to be offensive. I thought it was a pretty crappy excuse tbh. He used to order my Mum to make him drinks too!

catgirl1976fucker · 04/11/2013 18:34

Next time just say "Did you mean to sound so cunty?"

Original poster

CeliaFate · 04/11/2013 18:39

Foof what a cow your MIL sounds. That's exactly what he's like. "Ooh,not good enough for you is it?" with a smirk.
Dh rolls his eyes at him, the bloke is used to saying "Jump" and his wife says "How high?" so I think I am not someone he's used to dealing with. I take the piss out of him and being a mere female, he must feel insecure.
I think next time I'll wave my little finger at him.

OP posts:

LEMisafucker · 04/11/2013 18:47

"They're not close friends, more than acquaintances"

Theres you are then, tell him he is a cunt, and spit in his soup. SEriously life is too short!

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