to be completely unsympathetic to my SIL's grief over the 'loss' of her beloved dog?

[WestieMamma]

We've had 2 weeks of endless sadness over their 'loss'. Pictures posted on facebook, comments about how their little family will never be the same. How much he is missed. How their hearts are breaking. Endless streams of sympathy from friends and relatives and supportive comments about how he's 'gone to a better place'. Today she's been all 'now I know how you felt when your 15 year old Westie died a few months ago'. It's actually make me have thoughts of hitting her over the head with a jumbone.

Before you all tell me I'm an evil, unsympathetic cow. They got rid of the dog because they have had a baby 'couldn't give him what he needed'.

Crikey, I'm with the comments about the dog being better off without them. Utter hypocrites- exercise and training was what that poor dog needed not sedating! Ironically Dalmatians are usually fab with kids too.
In the interests of family peace tho, I suggest letting off steam here and grinning and bearing their nonsense!

Steel yourself for similar problems with toddler training...

MammaTJ: I too had a cat like this that and had it re-homed.I was devastated. I have always had dogs and trained a few of them without any problems, never had to give up on one but I do think cats are mainly untrainable!

So they arranged a new home for him with someone who could give him what he really needed. The way you phrased it as getting rid of him initially suggested that you don't approve of this. Trawling through your drip feed they were obviously not caring for the dog as they should have, but at least they've acknowledged that they weren't giving it the best home.

If you really have an issue with your sister and her treatment of her dog, then tell her, instead of bitching about her on the Internet. You should probably also block her on FB as she obviously riles you.

It sounds like the dog has indeed gone to a better place.
I agree with a 'Why don't you go and visit him in his new home?' comment on FB.

Steel yourself for similar problems with toddler training...

I can already see it coming. The first buds of unwanted behaviours being smiled/laughed at and held up as adorably cute.

I wouldn't say the issue is arranging a new home ouryve

Anyone would have understood that.

It's the fact that they didn't train the dog or give it proper exercise or anything else that would have ensured he was a good family pet.

Sedation? Who does that? It wasn't a last resort it was the only resort.

YANBU poor dog. Our dear old Labrador was 11 when our DD was born in 2011, there was no way we would have re homed her. Very sadly we had to have her put to sleep 11 weeks ago. We miss her but only posted once on Facebook on the day she died.

I had to rehome my dog last week. We researched and took our time deciding on which breed etc. Got her home and good god she was a nutter. Lovely lovely dogbut just ridiculous! We had 3 lots of proffesionals to train her and us. None worked. Behavioural expert coupdnt do anything either.
We took her for endless walks, played with her tried to sit with her and cuddle her. Kept her occupied mentaly and physically. In return.....
Our kitchen...including cupboards, door frames and fridge were eaten. ( she was never left alone for more than an hour)
She point blank refused to go to the toilet outside. Worst of all was she was rough with my son. So nippy and as she was a big dog we could not take the risk.

Shes now gone to a lovely family with older teenagers and more space. We were gutted. All had a little cry and the house feels empty.

However.....no facebook sympathy/attentuon seeking posts. No mourning the loss of a dog thats gone to a more suitable home. She needs to gwt a grip by the sounds of it. Dont gwt me wrong, its sad to see an animal go....but a day or two on and a normal level of functioning is expected.

What Brian said, they are still allowed to be sad.

Oh I love dogs. I fully understand why people are so upset when they have to give them up or they die.

But I would struggle to have sympathy with people who make zero effort with them to the point that they have to re home.

You can be very sad without doing the modern equivalent of 6 months Victorian mourning complete with black outfits and professional wailers. But then, in this case it may be guilt, and a desire to play down their own incompetence, masquerading as grief.

I don't know. I have two dogs; they came from a woman who had young children and could no longer care for the dogs. She was very upset about giving them up, and if I posted about the dogs on FB, or they appeared in any of my family photos on FB, she would post about how much she as missing them, how upset she was and so on. And I do feel sympathy for her. She made the right decision for the dogs and she did love them.

We're not perfect. I am without a doubt not the world's best mother. I am sure there are people with the same circumstances as me who are far better parents. It doesn't mean I love my children less. It just means I'm not as good at turning that love into excellent care as some people. We can all only try our best. The same is true for dog owners I suppose.

As for people with asthma, people have different triggers. I can deal with a bit of cigarette smoke but being around cats lands me in hospital. If your child is very allergic to a pet, the pet should be rehomed, whether you smoke or not.

Still there are logical first steps to take surely?

Why would you not try training first. Which is free and can be fun, before you try sedation which costs money and has side effects.

Why would you pay for medication over puppy classes?

Why would you not go online or get a book and look up the breed you want to get?

All are common sense surely?

And as for asthma well again, smoke is a big trigger, why would you break up a family before you cut the most common cause of flare ups?

Obviously of these things don't work the yes re homing may have to be the next step if there's nothing else you can do or can afford to do. But you try first don't you??

It smacks of selfishness and lazyness.

I'm quite at the idea of a vet issuing enough sedatives for anything other than occasional events (eg long but essential journeys for a dog who panics in the car, bonfire night for a dog scared of loud bangs to the point of shaking and vomiting all night etc)

Drama! Its sad, but gosh, they should get some real issues in their lives ...

I'm always very skeptical of these easy-overly-emotional displays...always strikes me as rather shallow, and insincere.

I believe that really deeply felt emotion, is usually far more of a private thing.

^What LaQueen said. And Mrs De Vere, people on Facebook being self-obsessed and attention-seeking.

Yes absolutely what Mrs DV said. FB seems to be a drama llama's paradise.

Ooh I was all ready to flame you to a crisp until I read further . Best advice I can give is to block her posts from your newsfeed until things die down. Some people feed on sympathy / attention and others will get sick of her too before long.

YANBU. It's a dog, and it's not even dead. Does she not get much attention ? Your SIL, not the dog.

Giles, because the two triggers are not necessarily related. If I sleep in a house with a cat in, I will die unless I get to hospital very quickly, in which case I may or may not survive with medical help. It isn't some vague thing of not being quite sure which trigger is causing me to have an immediate and severe asthma attack. So unless you are 100% sure of that child's medical history, you can't say they might be okay, try other things first like smoking/damp course etc. It is down to knowing individual circumstances.

which isn't to say smoking around asthmatics is okay.