Am I being unreasonably harsh on DD? Homework related.

[Canthisonebeused]

Have been concerned about dds progress lately. Parents evening coming up and will discuss. I'm unsure what's going on with her. She's y3. Not sure if she is just not making effort generally or something else going on.

She has done her homework and basically not good enough, handwriting terrible, sentences are basic and not as well as she is capable of. I've told her she needs to re write it in pen and neater and improve the sentences. She'd wants me to rip out the rubbish page and leave no trace. I'm refusing saying it stays in. She says she will lose playtime if it stays in. I'm pretty sure if the is an effort shown to improve it she won't lose play time. But explained if she does this may be the kick up the back side she needs.

She howling and being very dramatic. Have given her ten mins to sort her self out or she loses the chance to correct it at all. She is sorting herself out.

Am I being too harsh, what would others do. Rip it out or leave it in?

I would and have removed a page and made them do it again. I think yabu, if she repeats it to a higher standard then there's no point leaving in the 1st attempt.

If she re-does it and improves it, I would take out the other piece. Otherwise she has no incentive to bother redoing it.

I would rip it out, but only once there is a better version to replace it, so after she's done the work again.

On the fence. Yes, you could make her rewrite it and if she does I don't see the harm in ripping out the first version. Or, you could leave it as it is and see what the teacher says about it. Personally (and I'm not saying this just for an easy life) homework has at teams become a real battleground between me and DS and I'm keen for it not to get like that again. I also want him to learn it's his homework, so I leave much of the responsibility with him - I supervise, make sure he knows what to do, hear him reading and practice spellings, but essentially if he wants to hand in poor work then that's up to him.

What's the point of doing it again if the poor work stays on show and she'll still get punished anyway Sorry may have misunderstood. Tbh I'd have stayed out of it and let the teacher handle it. Yr3 is too young for major homework upsets imho but I'd discuss any concerns at parents eve. .

Rip it out and make her do it again.

Why would she get a detention? Awfully harsh

Is this a Posh School?

DT/losing break for a piece of scruffy hw is bonkers

Yr 3, what, age 7/8? Madness.

I would also remove once the new and improved version has gone in.

Agree Careca.

Y3 I'd tell school not to set fucking HW in the first place!

I would get her to redo and then Rip it out. I would make it clear that ripping pages out couldn't become a regular thing and the teacher will notice the book becoming thinner if she does it frequently.

Maybe suggest she drafts work in future. Dd is the same age and had a project that she had put alot of research work and I made her redo the cover page as it was like you described poor handwriting, rushed spelling (where am she had just gone for something phonetically similar even though if she paused to think she knows the right version). It really detracted from all the other images of decent work, once she had redone it she admitted it was now something to be proud of.

I agree you shouldn't leave the old page in, no point in that IMO

I sympathise though, my ds2 is incredibly lazy and some of his homework has been so crummy I wanted to shred it in front of him

I would have taken the old page out. Don't really get why you didn't if she had redone it. Why hand two bits of work in the same? A good copy and a rubbish copy? No one does that. Do they?

Poor kid :(

She has calmed herself down, we have had some lunch and she is going to redo it. I've taken the old page out. But my reasoning for this is that it's not really good to be ripping pages out of books and it displays to the teacher that it has been re done.

Essentially like Wilson I prefer homework to be her responsibility and ripping pages out to me just seems deceptive some how. But I can understand there seems no real reasoning in this.

It's not a posh school no. I do think losing break at this age is unreasonable but those are the rules for not handing any in, I'm not sure it would happen with homework that isn't good enough or has been redone. She also gets a lot of homework IMHO.

I've explained to her now though that as long as it's done to a standard she thinks is acceptable then I'm not prepared for the drama we just had to unfold again, so I'll advise her of what I think but essentially it's up to her what she now does and I'll help if she is not getting uptight about it. I also added I won't get uptight about it either

This is precisely why homework shouldn't be bloody given.

Just upsets them when they should be playing or relaxing. Yr 3 so she's 7 maybe 8? Poor kid, it really shouldn't be so stressful :(

I'm pro homework. I think it gives parents a chance to see what their kids are doing & also keep an eye on things they are struggling with.

There are times when it is about as much fun as trying to push toothpaste back in the tube & I have one DC with learning difficulties, but even though it is a bit sweaty, I still think it is a good idea.

I hate homework. I don't give any. I also rip out pages I've done that I'm not happy with.

My absolute top tip - I got DS teacher to say how long hw should be taking (it was 15 minutes last year, he was only 7 but they gave loads). And then he worked for 15 minutes only and that was the end of the homework. Teacher only pulled me up on it once, and I calmly explained that was what 15 minutes of homework looked like in our house.

I would have left it in with an explanation from me of the discussion about improvements. Far more informative for the teacher.

I leave the "draft" page in and make a pencil note on it to say

"this took X minutes. I insisted DS re-wrote this concentrating on ....."( whatever it was , spelling, capital letters, handwriting etc).

I am not sure how removing the first attempt is deceptive? What it shows us that the child didn't do a draft before writing in her book. That's all.

But the 'new' version was a re-write. Which is what the children would do in class anyway. Every piece of writing is planned, drafted, written and re-written these days.

So it's very informative.

agree with starball - I just don't understand this homework obsession?

I think the best thing you can do to improve your DD's writing is to encourage a love of reading - which won't happen if her day is filled with school and homework!

The homework obsession is because the government loves it and insists on it.

I have never yet a primary teacher who didn't think it was a daft idea. Reading, spellings, tables practice are all useful and done in 15 minutes per day. Beyond that.. spend the time reading.

I have worked in schools where children have nothing and so I couldn't set anything which required any kind of equipment beyond a pencil (and even then I had to lend them pencils) which meant homework was very dry worksheets.

In contrast, my DD2 is regularly set project homework that assumes access to libraries, the internet, craft materials, etc etc. That can just become a contest between parents to make the most impressive model of the Globe Theatre from lolly sticks.