AIBU to refuse to view a house if I have to remove my shoes?

[iliketea]

I'm happy to be told IABU....

We are currently house hunting. A few of the houses we've requested to view have asked us to remove our shoes at the door. At that point, I've said I'm not viewing a house in my socks and stopped the viewin before it's even started if the shoe thing is non-negotiable.

AIBU? it's not that i mind taking my shoes off when I'm visiting a friend - and generally do take my shoes in friends homes, but I find it weird that if you are trying to sell your house that you expect viewers to take their shoes off.

Or am I likely to miss a really great house and just suck it up / make sure i've got non-holey, matching socks wheb we go to view a house?

I wouldn't explicitly ask but I do tend to expect it. Most people will when entering our house. Perhaps many of the houses you visit prefer shoes off but don't ask? Or maybe it is just different subsets of people.

Nope, I've discussed it with my friends before, none of them do this. Honestly.

If there are any people from through-and-through shoes-off cultures on here, please could you answer a question I have always been curious about. If it is absolutely de rigeur to take off shoes in houses, eg in Norway it is standard practice and they actually have a song about it to remind children, what happens at smart drinks parties where women have put on posh frocks that would usually be worn with pretty shoes, maybe with heels? And the men are wearing suits that would usually be worn with smart shoes? Do they stand around in stockings and socks? I think a cocktail frock would look very odd with stockinged feet. Please enlighten me!

Not so sure its a lower middle class thing in our area. Firmly middle class here (Oxbridge). Recent visit to a senior paeds house and we also all had shoes off, as I think we would in most houses. Early 30s if that makes a difference.

I think it is the rise of pale carpets myself and a degree of preciousness about fixtures and fittings.

I think it is rude to ask people to take off their shoes, but I also think it is rude not to make an effort to wipe your shoes properly before entering a house. I also think if you know your shoes are very dirty, you should offer to take them off.

To my mind, the whole issue is about showing respect for people and never putting objects above another person's comfort.

The only person who I don't mind keeping shoes on in my house is my dad who is disabled. It would be a massive ordeal to get his shoes on and off when visiting and he struggles even more to walk with just socks on. Everyone else, shoes off please. We have just bought and sold our house and no one minded taking shoes off to view ours and we had no issues taking our shoes off to view any others.

It is because everybody I know does remove their shoes that it is a non-issue for me and the people I come into contact with. No-one is offended because they all do it too. It is one of these areas where customs have just changed.

I think that standards of health and hygiene have simply risen

I sometimes suspect that they've risen too far, actually, and people are now paranoid about perfectly normal quantities of dirt (ie very small ones).

Obviously it isn't a custom that has changed everywhere if lots of people don't do it or don't know anyone else who does. I will never ask people to take their shoes off when coming into my home. The new custom can sod off.

YABU, argument over the rights and wrongs of enforced shoe removal aside, you could miss your dream house.

You do know that if you buy a house, you can choose to wear shoes inside if you wish? It is the current occupies who enforce the rule, not the bricks and mortar

the viewers of a house will be making it theirs after the contract is signed.
they may even take up the darned carpets
its a buyers market
you do what makes the buyer feel welcome

A question to all those who have a no shoes policy.
Do you entertain?
As in invite 20 or 30 friends round for a party where people flow between the garden and the house?
Do you make people take their shoes off?
By the front door or the back door?

Do you have pets - do you make them wear slippers ?

Sorry but I am firmly in the "floors are for walking on" camp.
Upstairs is different but all of the "living" rooms in the house are made as welcoming as possible to anybody who comes.

I happen to wear slippers in the house, but that is because I tend to wear heels out.

There is a lot of disgusting stuff on the bottom of the average shoe. It's not necessarily a matter of the carpets appearing dirty or not.

abcnews.go.com/GMA/Consumer/story?id=5177409

Yourtoastmildred - that is a good question that deserves a reply! Parties are the one time when I relax my rule, because, as you say, people (ok, women) who have spent time putting together an outfit with nice dress, high heels etc do not want to leave their specially chosen footwear in a jumbled pile at the front door! On these occasions, I roll up my beautiful rug that covers most of the room that we''ll be in and use the wooden floor for the evening. I just grit my teeth over the hall carpet because this would definitely be a time to suspend the normal rule as your guests' clothing - which includes shoes - is an integral part of the evening.

But we are talking about the exception here, unless you have parties every week. Other exceptions, as I mentioned above, are people who find it difficult or painful to bend down to remove shoes. There is nothing arrogant or absolutist about asking people not to wear outdoor shoes inside - I just see it as normal, hygienic practice that I would do for anyone else.

If I was selling I would have probably have just had the carpets cleaned and would want to keep them as clean as possible so yes YABU. I don't care if you felt uncomfortable in my home it's my home and selling it is a business transaction. If you like it (with clean carpets) you buy it.
If you refused to take your shoes off when coming to view I would be having a word with the estate agent that arranged the viewing. As someone else has said they could have taken time off work to show you around.

This is like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when he refused to remove his shoes : )

I lived in Canada and everyone takes their shoes off in houses in winter. Lots of people carry those little fold up slippers. If you are going somewhere dressy you just carry another pair of shoes. Estate agents wear rubber overshoes.

It's not a problem at all.

I don't like having to take my shoes off when I go in a house. It's too familiar and weird especially if you don't know them. I don't ask people to take their shoes off in my house and we have brand new cream carpets. No one wears shoes upstairs though but no one except my family go upstairs and they all discard their shoes at the door for some reason.
I remember going to a friends house for a party and I had bought these gorgeous shoes to wear and low and behold she asked everyone to take their shoes off at the door. I didn't stay for long because obviously some people didn't realise she would do this and they had very stinky feet!

Squash - what about a bit of tolerance? People who want to keep their own houses shoe-free can do that, surely, and those who think it is ridiculous, precious, unreasonable etc don't have to. Most people who like everyone to take their shoes off are not making any point - or criticising anyone else - they are just setting their own standards for their own home.

It is the home owner who spends most of his/her time at home and must be able to relax and enjoy it their own way. If that means asking visitors who are just popping in for a limited time to do something very quick and simple like taking their shoes off, I don't see that as alienating people in any way.

There are more ways of making people feel welcome to your house than just allowing them to keep their shoes on!

It's not just the houses with the "no shoes" rule you'll be missing out on, OP. The agents will have marked you down as a bit loopy and unlikely to be top of the viewing list for that perfect place they have just taken onto their books...

Squoosh, not Squash! ( not a Freudian slip, btw)

Tolerance? I've already said that of course I'd take my shoes off if requested, I was merely saying that it will never be something that I would request of guests.

Bettercall - I was brought up to believe that a guest's comfort was paramount. That how you treated people was more important than any possession you may have. If a guest broke something by accident, you didn't make a fuss, you tried to put them at their ease.

For me, it will always be discourteous to ask guests to remove their shoes because it is putting concern for flooring above concern for a person.

I understand why people do it & that their intentions are probably not bad, but I will always see it as rude, even it that is not how it is meant.

Grew up where shoes on was the norm and to take your shoes off seemed really weird. Moved to Asia and where it is always shoes off and it made so much sense that now keeping shoes on seems so rank and makes no sense. Why would you wear outdoor shoes inside your home. Especially in them where we get so much rain and it's quite dirty and mucky much of the time. And at parties in homes, you would just see a big pile of shoes and flip flops at the front door - folk don't even think twice about it. It's all about what you are used to.

And I have had that pleasant experience a few times when you smell shit and have to get down on your hands and knees, find it and scrub it. Everyone used to have mostly carpets,even in the loos and often kitchen (boak). Mostly these carpets were actually filthy. Think of your wooden or tiled floors and how dirty they can get, then add outdoor shoes and carpets are generally manky.