I am so angry with dh over this silly thing. Aibu (and over reacting)?

[MoveYourArmsLikeHenry]

I have a huge, terrifying fear of inclosed spaces, being in situations where I cant see properly etc. Earlier on I was wearing my hoodie with the hood up (yes I am weird) and dh thought it would be funny to pull the strings together so that the top of my hood fell over my eyes and sort of closed in. It was ok at first, I didnt feel scared because I knew I could just pull the hood off. I laughed along for a min but then began to feel a bit freaked out so tugged at the hood to pull it off. It wouldnt budge- dh had tied the fucking strings together!

A full on melt down occured, with me frantically pulling at the strings, which of course only made the knot tighter. I was in complete panic mode, crying, screaming, swearing and feeling utterly distressed. Dh tried to untie the strings but it wasnt happening. By this point I thought I was going to pass out (not exaggerating, I actually began to hyper ventilate) so dh grabbed the scissors and cut me free.

I was in a right state. Dh tried to calm me down and said he didnt mean to tie the strings so tight, but apparently it didnt turn into a knot until I started pulling at them! I was really shook up and must have been loud because my baby ds woke up and screamed.

I am so angry with dh. He knows I have this fear and cant understand why he would do something like that. He has apologised and said it was a joke that went wrong.Yes i know he didnt mean to upset me but l didnt find it funny in the slightest :(

If I were you, I would be very wary, and look out for signs of other ways in which he is "accidentally" hurting you/scaring you

Oh give over, dramatic much. We all do silly things, just because we're adults doesn't mean we don't muck about. Obviously in this case it went terribly wrong and he was in the wrong, he apologised and that's that.

A colleague thought it would be a bright idea to throw a plastic spider at another colleague who has a spider phobia the other day. I think the shriek and distress acted as a sharp lesson in NOT being such an arse. Especially as the spider-thrower has told us all about their own phobia.

If I were you, I would be very wary, and look out for signs of other ways in which he is "accidentally" hurting you/scaring you

Oh for christ sake!

I'm glad you've made up with him OP

Obviously it was just a silly joke that went wrong and there was no malice intended.

Must have been very scary for you both and I'm sure he'll learn from it

I think people often don't understand how phobias work.

It isn't helped by people who claim to have phobias but are simply a bit put out by the thing

I agree Strumpetron

I get fed up of hearing people I know saying they have a spider phobia when really they just don't like them.

It's frustrating worra, don't get me wrong I'm not pooh poohing their fear, it's just different from a phobia.

Mine makes me feel like I can't breath, I throw up, burst into tears and shake. Feel like a right idiot, seeds for crying out loud! I won't even describe what happened when I caught DP carving the pumpkin

Tellin ye if anyone ever read all my posts they'd suggest I be put down, got a million and one things wrong with me

strumpetron the incident with the bell pepper and the knife- this is a prime example of why I didnt just simply take the hoodie off, because with phobias it is damn near impossible to follow common sense.

It must have been a horrible situation for you, and of course if you were able to just put the bell pepper and knife down you would have instead of throwing them. But phobias dont work that way, otherwise they wouldnt be phobias:)

I feel this is the point you are trying to get across. Sorry if its not and im talking a load of shite

Yeah that's exactly it move. We all know how we should react, but when the phobia takes over rational thought just doesn't come into play. Its more like PANIC PANIC PANIC

I have total sympathy for you OP.. what a narna.. I'll bet he doesn't do it again.

I can't do enclosed.. I can't have anything around my neck.. I can't wear clothes that hug the body or trousers that cover the bottom part of my legs. .. I couldn't wear a hoody but if somebody did something like that to me I would probably hurt them in pure panic.

Feel stressed just reading your post