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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think its a bit sinister when couples have a joint Facebook account?

69 replies

Bearbehind · 01/11/2013 22:05

Is it just me or is it a bit weird when couples have a joint Facebook account eg his name/ her name/ surname?

Apart from anything else you've no idea which one of them is posting but aside from that it seems a bit too controlling and distrusting for my liking.

I completely understand people who don't like Facebook full stop but this hybrid seems proper strange to me.

OP posts:

Damnautocorrect · 02/11/2013 08:18

All the gypsies I know have them like this, I find it odd as you don't know whose posting but what works for one doesn't another and all that

3MenAndMe · 02/11/2013 08:30

YABU
That's what loving couple usually do share and do stuff together, unless you have something sinister to hide.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/11/2013 08:32

Rubbish 3men I love my husband but we are still 2 separate entities.

dawnpreview · 02/11/2013 08:35

We only have one email address, I had no idea people thought that was weird. DH uses it for work, I use it to email my mum. I tend to use Facebook to message friends anyway.

pigletmania · 02/11/2013 08:37

Yabvvu cheesy and cringeworthy yes, sinister no why! I knowa couple with a joint e mail account which I found very cheesy

pictish · 02/11/2013 08:41

Yanbu - I think it's icky as well. It's not as if their are a limited amount of fb accounts are there?

Whenever I see it, which is rare, I think 'ooo someone doesn't trust someone here, or someone likes to be in controoool'.

GoofyIsACow · 02/11/2013 08:42

Yes it bugs me a lot, especially that you have no idea which one is posting, or when the first name field contains 'SueBob'

'Suggest friends for SueBob'

DrankSangriaInThePark · 02/11/2013 08:44

I don't find it controlling, I just find it hilariously saddo and cheesy.

It's the new millennium equivalent to the green strip across the top of the Cortina saying "Kev and Janet" I think.

I have 2 (female) friends on my FB who have this "Derek'n'Audrey" thing going on. Invariably accompanied by a lovely pic of the pair of them.

I always assume (perhaps wrongly, and very much against the sisterhood ) that it's the female half of the couple doing the talking and uploading of their Sunday dinners, whilst he waits till she's gone to bed and whips his phone out and logs onto his real FB account.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 02/11/2013 08:47

Joint email I kind of get, if it's for things like a joint bank communication, or with your landlord or something.

Again, if a couple had a joint email, I would just presume they had another one each as well.

Pointeshoes · 02/11/2013 08:53

Yeh that's odd. But then I find the whole Facebook concept odd, it's mostly for people who either want to be popular and have lots of 'friends', or for nosy people. I bet there's only a small percentage of those that actually only use it to keep in touch with just family or close friends. Also it's a massive way of advertising for companies, same as twitter.
Leave em to it , think it's on it's way out soon anyway.

NotYoMomma · 02/11/2013 08:59

there are two categories of this I think

the possesive awful 'there is obviously an issue there' couple - I once saw an argument between dhs friends using the same account and I had to decypher it! - she was actually the controlling one.
older people. my mum and Dad share an account and email address as they find it easier. when someone comments on one of my statuses or pics I have to ask who it was. they even share a writing style

Latetothematch · 02/11/2013 09:07

My sister takes it one step further in controlling, she doesn't have a FB account of her own, she has one in her partner's name, and is the one who does all the posting/commenting.

She asks why I don't have her partner as my friend, and I said why would I want him as my friend and forced her to admit that it was her really, and I said oh I hadn't realised (I'm not an idiot!!!) and if she wanted to be on FB I'd add her.

But she has so many ishoos.

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/11/2013 09:24

Older people do have a joint one. My mum and dad do - tho my mum rarely emails - but I know what I send will go to both

Parents are different

Reliesed I have/had a friend with a joint email and years go I rem saying something and she said yes her dh has password and could go and read it

And I would send emails either in reply to her about her dh being a knob or something personal about me that I wouldn't want her dh to know

She agreed with me and got another email address - it's not hard with hotmail and gmail etc

It's not about trust but about privacy of who is sending the emails

SatinSandals · 02/11/2013 09:28

It is older people that I know and they are not using FB in the way younger people are - it is not remotely important to them and it is just simpler to check one about once every 6 weeks than to go to all the trouble of setting up 2.

BackOnlyBriefly · 02/11/2013 10:16

There's a kind of culture clash here and misunderstanding. You all care about facebook don't you and presumably spend lots of time updating it and checking it all day. If it is a major part of your life then of course you need your own one.

To some of us though it's the most trivial thing. We do actually have one each, but rarely use it at all.

I mean we have a shopping list in the kitchen that we both add things to when we think of it. It never occurred to us to have one each of those. FB is slightly less important than that shopping list.

We are older, but I think part of it in the beginning was that we already had our own websites, servers and even a forum. We didn't need somewhere to put up pictures or comments we wanted to show people and those we spent most of our time with already had so many ways to interact with us that FB never seemed worth the hassle.

Nowadays, from the complaints I hear, FB seems to be about being constantly hacked, pestered to add friends, constant vigilance to avoid the wrong people seeing the wrong comment and for you to avoid seeing something awful (beheadings?) that one of your 100s or 1000s of 'friends' have offered you.

secondchances · 02/11/2013 12:53

I know what you mean OP. I have 3 on my friends list like that & actually all 3 of them hardly ever post on there, they all text their friends on their own phones to contact them. I find it odd but I guess if you all have the same friends etc then it makes sense. Just a bit rubbish when you're trying to plan a surprise for your partner & need to message people on facebook for ideas.

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 02/11/2013 17:33

My husband and I used to have Facebook accounts each but got rid of them because we just don't like it but recently friends of ours had a baby but they live abroad and I wanted to go back on Facebook so I could see all the pictures and so we talked about setting it up jointly so my husband could use it, he doesn't want his own account he just wanted to use mine so he could join some specialist groups but feels it would be weird going on as me.

Thatisall · 02/11/2013 17:36

I know a few people like this. One I understand, he doesn't like Facebook but wants to know when photos of him are online and he wants to be involved with events etc. so his wife had an account with both their names. She loves fbook so great for her and he/they get tagged in photos and kept up to date on events.

But the others all appear to have trust issues. It's a shame really

HSMMaCM · 02/11/2013 17:37

DH and I used to share an email. Not controlling or lovey dovey, just practical.

I have a FB account, he's not interested. He knows my password, but only uses it to look at family photos.

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