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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think its a bit sinister when couples have a joint Facebook account?

69 replies

Bearbehind · 01/11/2013 22:05

Is it just me or is it a bit weird when couples have a joint Facebook account eg his name/ her name/ surname?

Apart from anything else you've no idea which one of them is posting but aside from that it seems a bit too controlling and distrusting for my liking.

I completely understand people who don't like Facebook full stop but this hybrid seems proper strange to me.

OP posts:

Dillydollydaydream · 01/11/2013 22:44

My ds and db in law share an account but that's due to db in law having trust issues with ds and exes.

Ds bring sister not son!

EyeOfNewtBigtoesOfFrog · 01/11/2013 22:44

There may be lovely innocent reasons for it but I find it sinister too. It's like couples who can't go anywhere or do anything without each other. But I agree the joint email address is the worst.

I know a couple where the man did have a history of affairs, then they got married and ever after had a joint email address made up of a mixture of their names. I don't know why but it certainly looked like she was making a grand statement to the world that she would be keeping tabs on him.

I felt like writing to her and saying "you have heard of hotmail...?"

Rosencrantz · 01/11/2013 22:45

Yeah it's creepy. Ex parents did it. Freaked me out. Tbf, they didn't have different personalities and identities in real life either.

Methe · 01/11/2013 22:46

I know a couple of people with hisname hername surname Facebook profiles.

It just makes me assume one of them is a controlling arsehole and the other one is spineless.

Alisvolatpropiis · 01/11/2013 22:46

Yanbu.

It's weird. I thought it was weird when Facebook became common use when I was 18 and I find it weird beyond words at 25.

I'd laugh in my dp's face if he suggested such a thing.

Leeds2 · 01/11/2013 22:50

I don't know anyone that does this.

PansOnFire · 01/11/2013 23:21

Exactly what I was going to say Methe. Even the ones who claim to be all loved up and 'one' person stink of control. It's not because they're in love, it's so that a) they can pretend how picture perfect they are and b) because they want to see what the other is up to.

I have a friend who 'can't be bothered' with Facebook but who freely admits to using her husband's account. She's either creeping (which is weird, play nice) or checking up on him. I've had a few friend requests from him which I've ignored because I don't know him. She keeps telling me to accept them but I've told her that I only accept close friends.

Mouthfulofquiz · 02/11/2013 07:09

It's definitely weird.

Longtalljosie · 02/11/2013 07:11

I've never come across that - but it does annoy me when people have joint emails... like you can never have a conversation with them without their other half being present.

Mrmenmug · 02/11/2013 07:18

A couple I know have a joint account, lovey dovey pics, checking in everywhere, comments about 'we' and 'us' continually.

She has been shagging another bloke on the side for the past two years

Think in some cases, fb is used to project an 'image' and reality is very different!

SatinSandals · 02/11/2013 07:23

I know two lots that do but they are hardly ever on there, there is nothing sinister, they just have the same friends and family and use it to view photos. One lot never post anything and the other lot post photos once in a while. It is just an easy way.

MyNameIsSuz · 02/11/2013 07:29

I think a lot of it is generational, like the whole shared email address thing. My mum and stepdad (55-70ish age group) share an email address and she can't understand why they wouldn't - it's just the equivalent of a postal address, which obviously they share. I did ask, well what if they want to email each other, and she couldn't understand why they would do that instead of just phoning, whereas for DH and me email is our go-to. No shared FB, but probably only because my stepdad isn't interested, plenty of her friends do.

TiredDog · 02/11/2013 07:30

I don't find it sinister but I do find it weird. As several others have said you don't morph into one person when you are in a relationship. You are two people, have two identities, two likes and dislikes. I don't want a relationship with two people via a generic account.

I have a generic email address for work. It means business continues with minimal disruption with any staff changes. Perhaps the same happens on divorce for these couples...

Titsalinabumsquash · 02/11/2013 07:32

I don't know anyone who does this, I couldn't share with DP, most of his friends are total douchebags.

TiredDog · 02/11/2013 07:33

Generational yes I understand that for anyone over 65. 55 is young and I will poke my crochet hooks into anyone suggesting otherwise

My parents who are nearly 80 share an email address and a skype account. They are retired and spend all day in each other's company so it would be daft to have two accounts.

Nagoo · 02/11/2013 07:37

I assume that one of them can't be trusted or the other one is paranoid.

I definitely judge them

livinginwonderland · 02/11/2013 07:37

Shows a HUGE lack of trust imo. It generally seems to be that one person doesn't trust the other and wants to be able to see all their messages

But, it wouldn't surprise me if the person who's "not trusted" has another secret account, to be honest.

SatinSandals · 02/11/2013 07:41

More laziness by people who don't waste much time on FB.

SatinSandals · 02/11/2013 07:42

I never understand why what others do on FB upsets people so much. They have a joint account-big deal!

charleylarlie · 02/11/2013 08:02

I would have thought that it would be easier to sign up using one of the couple's names and just give the other one the password so that they could both access the account. Might prove even more confusing for their facebook friends though!

I don't understand the joint facebook account thing at all. Why not just have an account each?

Original poster

Bearbehind · 02/11/2013 08:06

It doesn't upset me satin, I just don't understand why people choose to represent themselves as one entity on a public forum. As many others have agreed, i think it makes it look like there are control and trust issues so I just don't get why you'd do it.

If you only need one account, why not just use one name, it's the double barrelled first name bit that I find weird.

OP posts:

SatinSandals · 02/11/2013 08:07

That is what they were doing and it was mighty confusing! Just changing the profile name was much easier than making a new account and then having to make the same friends over again. They are hardly ever on there, it might be sinister if you live your life through it but hardly sinister if you post about twice a year!

MikeLitorisBites · 02/11/2013 08:11

My ex and his wife have a joint account. He cant be trusted to have his own. But then he also cant be trusted to take his phone into the shower or toilet without her following him.

Bizzare behaviour.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/11/2013 08:12

I've not come across this on FB. I wouldn't accept a friend request from a joint account, I find it weird. I wouldn't want a load of smug 'look how in love we are' posts clogging up my FB anyway, the smug 'look how much I love my kids' ones are bad enough

bebopanddoowop · 02/11/2013 08:18

Wow. None of my friends have that, but I would definitely think it was weird if they did. & would probably mock them for it.

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