Not happy about DD (9) watching scary 15 film at sleepover last night

[Flyonthewindscreen]

DD (9) had a sleepover at a friends house last night. The friend is a near neighbour and in her class at school but was the first sleepover at her house. DD came home this morning really spooked, said she didn't even want to go upstairs on own because she had watched "Sixth Sense", scary 15 film about seeing the dead, at the sleepover. Really annoyed that friend's parents thought this was appropriate for 9 year olds. Thinking of sending the following text "X says does"t want to sleep on own tonight as too scared after watching 15 film Sixth Sense last night! Don't know if you were aware what they were watching?".

What do you think? Gives friend's mum the get out that she could say "sorry, wasn't aware, should have kept closer eye". Which might be true of course. Don't want to have fallout, small village and all that but don't feel I can just let it go if DD is going to spend time there in future.

I still don't like the bit with the girl under the bed or the boy walking through with only half a head.

Or when they're in the tent in the living room and all the ghosts are trying to get in.

At 9 I would have really been scared. Could have been worse though, could have been this:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B008OQ07QO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1383330936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

Which is also a 15 and totally utterly terrifying!

My little sister saw Nightmare on Elm Street at a sleepover when she was 9. She spent the next few months creeping into my bed during the night because she didn't want to sleep on her own.

I think it's outrageous that children are shown age inappropriate films without their parents being consulted. However, I wouldn't make a fuss about it now because the damage is already done. You can make sure it doesn't happen again though...

I think it's outrageous that children are shown age inappropriate films without their parents being consulted

That is the point - whether we found it scary or whether our child would have found it scary is entirely irrelevant.

I don't know what I'd do tbh, depends on the relationship that I had with the parent, but I'd be raging.

I think I'd find it hard not to say something though. These children were 9 and should have been appropriately supervised.

It is scary and quite disturbing. I wouldn't show it to 9yr olds, especially if they were just visiting.

YANBU. My DD1 is 9 in March, and I wouldn't dream of letting her watch it.

Even without the ghosty stuff, it's a grown up film for grown ups. It's pointless to show a child something that's beyond their level of understanding.

Think it's probably a good time to have a word with your DD that it's OK to say no to doing things she feels uncomfortable with as well.

I know it's difficult if everyone else is doing it.

Did she sit all the way through it?

YANBU this is one of the things that does worry me about sleepovers, that and unsupervised internet access (we have safe search filters on at home which I know aren't foolproof, but help, and the laptop is in the kitchen so I can usually see what they are up to). Definitely worth speaking to the parent. I saw this film and it gave me nightmares - I am a bit of a wuss but if I had seen this at 9 I would have been seriously traumatised!! If I have someone else's child at mine I am doubly careful about what they watch, as different children are scared by different things - one of mine was very upset by a Halloween episode of the Simpsons. OTOH I have a friend whose two young children have both seen the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy with no problems.

YANBU - there is no way your dd should have been watching that at someone's house without you being consulted. I would definitely have a word with the mother and let her know that in future you do not want dd watching age inappropriate films. You don't need to be confrontational about it so hopefully won't need to worry about a fall out - there is nothing unreasonable about the request at all!

I find the film very scary!

After all, blood and gore fests do not necessarily make a scary film.

Nothing happened in Blair Witch but that was also very scary and I would not want my DD to see it.

I am not sure what you should say but more on the side of ....perhaps you did not realise.

I used to go to friends house ( not at 9, maybe more 13) and she put on films that scared me, way above age limit, her parents had no idea.

MyDd is 16 and wouldn't watch it!

I would be pissed off about this and I would let the other parent know.
All kids are different but letting a 9 year old watch Sixth Sense without speaking with the parents is irresponsible.

I would phone and let them know. I would be matter of fact about it.

Sent text as felt less confrontational as phoning/popping round in person. Got reply apologising saying didn't know it was a 15 and that she had discovered them watching the first part and told them to take off and put something more suitable on. Got the impression from DD that she had watched quite a bit of it as she described quite a few scary scenes but will just reply saying ok. At least I have raised it and assume the friend's parent will be more careful what her DD and mine watch together in future (she is someone I would usually consider a responsible parent or DD would not have been staying there anyway).

Perhaps when her child won't go to bed by herself tonight she'll realise that allowing them to watch a 15 cert film wasn't the best idea.

It's the suicide and the hanging. I would not be happy. At All.

It's not something I would do but it's also not something I would want to make a big deal about. It's definitely not worth causing bad feeling. When my two were younger and went to sleepovers it seemed that there was usually a horror film involved. They just used to giggle through it, hiding their eyes at the 'scary ' parts.
Sixth Sense isn't so bad, it's not exactly blood and gore.
Each to their own but I'd say save your battles for the bigger things.

Agree with Gruffalo. Everybody knows their own child and what they may be upset by, but I always err on the side of caution with other people's children, especially if I think there may be the slightest suggestion of anything which could upset a child.

OP maybe like others here she genuinely thought it was pg? Just a thought.... She may have googled and thought it would be okay.

There's no way my nearly 9 year old would want to watch it.

YANBU.

I'm 40 and I was absolutely terrified when I saw it about 10 years ago - nightmares for days. :(

Scary movies and sleepovers still go hand in hand here. My dd is a year older and I wouldn't be impressed with Sixth Sense as a movie choice. I have let 9 year olds at a sleepover watch a 12A so I'm not whiter than white. Kids who have come here have tried to say that they are allowed to watch 15/18 at home but I'm old enough to have tried that trick myself.
My children aren't sensitive types but I have learned my lesson that some people don't care what their child watches online or on TV. The children have learned that scary stuff have high age ratings for a reason and it's perfectly acceptable to try and convince friends to turn off a scary film (Paranormal Activity freaked out my son at a similar age) or use the excuse that they fancy action or comedy. Round here quite a few sensitive kids seem to bring DVDs to get around the problem.

YANBU at all OP. When i was five and staying at a friends, her parents went out and the babysitter let us watch my friend's older brother's choice-which was 'The birds'. I don't remember the film but i remember the 'pecked out eyes' and my mum remembers the nightmares and screaming for weeks after.

I often find films that are not blood and gore more frightening because they are more real.

I watched Nightmare on Elm Street at a sleepover with friends when I was 12. It was fine until my friend's 16 year old brother decided that it would be funny to sneak out and scrape a fork down the window. We nearly died of fright

I know what you mean about the text being easier OP, and that's a pretty good reaction from her apologising and saying she'd noticed.

There are some 15s I let nearly 13 YO watch, but only if I've seen them and know it's the got the rating because of swearing or not too OTT 'mature themes' (arf), like Ted, Paul, Shaun of the Dead and the new Planet of the Apes.

She desperately wants to watch The Woman in Black...uhhhh...no

Speak to the parents by phone. The movie is inappropriate for nine year olds. It's too scary for me, and I'm 43!