IANBU - friend was rude

[Mintyy]

Went out for dinner the other night.

Three of my friends were already there when I got to the restaurant.

One was talking (about something major, I soon found out) and the other two were listening.

However the listening two looked up and smiled when I got to the table but the talker just carried on talking, it was a bit awkward tbh!

One of the listeners briefly explained what the talker was talking about, to put me in the picture. The other listener said "let's just say hello to Mintyy and then you can carry on".

Talker was rude, yes? She is someone who can't generally be stopped once she starts but it's basic manners to pause and say hi to someone else joining your group?

I dunno with my friends we're that close we know it's not being done to be rude and I wouldn't take offence to it, just let them continue then have a laugh about it afterwards. Friend groups are different'.

YABU about not wanting people to post unless they agree

heehee. I admire you. This is a bloody excellent two fingered salute to the very heart of AIBU

heehee. I admire you. This is a bloody excellent two fingered salute to the very heart of AIBU grin

Hmm, is this some sort of in-joke thing? Don't devote enough time to mn so not always up to speed!

Not an 'in joke', just a joke.

I was making fun of the fact that AIBU is a place where you ask the question are you being unreasonable and invite people to say yes or no, but Mintyy has rejected that in favour of a flat out I am not unreasonable and don't argue with me.

I am clearly not very funny.

Is she a drama queen? Or self obsessed? Does she always do this?

Just seems to me that a friend who does this would be listened to with sympathy unless she is always dramatising everything in which case I'd be a bit pissed off too

Were you late or on-time? If you were late the YABU, if on time than you're probably not BU.

Even if you were a bit late, a bit of eye contact and a quick hello wouldn't have gone amiss.

Sometimes my friends and I do this. It's not meant rudely, though I can see it might come across that way, it's almost like a sort of we-know-each-other-so-well-so-excited-to-see-each-other-basic-hellos-not-required-hit-the-ground-running-thing.

I don't know, it's hard to explain, and it probably is a but rubbish now I think about it but it's not intended rudely.

Yeah that's what I was trying to say calloh, same with me and my friends.

Talking friend had big news (not happy) but she would have been telling me if I'd happened to be the first one there. Ie, it was not exclusively for the ears of the listening two.

Two more friends turned up after me, so I guess I was slap-bang in the middle.

She is not a drama queen (far from it!) but I just thought her manners were lacking on this occasion. Even if you are really close, you treat people with courtesy.

Hell, if I'd been the talker and my blooming dh had turned up in these circumstances I would have paused for breath and said "hi dh, just telling a and b about so-and-so".

Or am I oldskool?

So she had big unhappy news, she isn't a drama queen and you are making this an issue. One time that she seemed to lack manners! Or is it that she wasn't suddenly falling over your presence?

Seriously, its really not an issue. And no point whatsoever in you asking the question because you already think your are NBU.

"No need to post unless you agree with me". Fantastic. A total and blatant attempted subversion of the whole purpose of AIBU, guaranteed to attract heated responses. Well played, op, well played...

Your friend was sharing unhappy news and you think she was rude not to consider YOUR feelings

Yes, Katie.

If you have slightly sad news to impart (it wasn't anything like death btw) do you think that means its fine to forget about normal social conventions?

Katie, imagine you went out for the evening with friends and you were catching up with the people who were already there and telling them your news (not good news) and another friend came up to the table. Would you really not pause for breath, look up and say hello? I mean, how drastic would the news have to be? and if you were so traumatised by these current events in your life, why on earth would you be going for a fun night out?

After your last post I do think you're being unreasonable OP. sorry.

No actually. I may do but others may not. Maybe she was a bit more caught up in her sad news rather than 'oh look, friend is here, switch off feeling sad, fawn a bit to make her feel welcome and conform to social norms before I carry on with my sad news'

One of the others brought you up to speed while she still chuntered on?
Yes, unspeakably rude.

She was rude but I don't bear a grudge! I just think she is a tiny bit socially inept.

But in all respects it was a top evening.

YADNBU

SHE WAS RUDE

"I just think she is a tiny bit socially inept."

I think she's just not that into you....

no need to post unless you agree with me.

Ha ha! Now I've heard it all. You're a nightmare. In case you haven't noticed, there's a question mark at the end of "am I being unreasonable?"

And in your case, the answer is YES.

Slightly rude I suppose...but not very. Hardly worth remarking upon.

Yes, she was being rude. Cut her off and never speak to her again!

You are welcome MammaTJ.

She wasn't intentionally rude,she was engrossed in off-loading her bad/sad news.

I think that you were socially inept by not cutting her some slack (if it was even needed) on this one occasion.Your arrival did not necessarily supercede her timing of sharing her news.

All in all though,I think it's a total non-issue and I wouldn't even bother my arse posting it ,if it were me.Can't see why it even stuck in your memory for longer than a minute afterwards,do you usually feel slighted so easily?