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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think body piercings on a child are wrong

75 replies

Cantsleep · 31/10/2013 21:00

This will out me if any of dh's family are on here but I am so shocked.

Dh's niece is just 12 and a half. She had her ears pierced as a baby then got more holes in ears a few years later. 3 months ago she got her belly button pierced and now has her 'sides' pierced I think this is either side by hips but I'd never heard of it before.

AIBU to be so shocked by this? It seems so wrong. I honestly thought you had to be 16 or over for that sort of piercing? She seems so young to be doing this.

I'm not anti piercing, my dd who is 12 just had her ears pierced a few weeks ago after begging for months but body piercings seem wrong for children.

OP posts:

HowlingTrap · 01/11/2013 11:36

Meh, I had my bottom ears and top ear done at that age.

FreudiansSlipper · 01/11/2013 11:37

my niece had her nose pierced at around 10

i am thinking more about the clothes she would be wearing to show it off, not something i think like to think children should be wearing

RoxanneReidsChafingFishnets · 01/11/2013 11:39

Its not something I'd do.

Can she even have them in for school though?

I had to cover my tattoo for PE with a huge plaster/paper taped on and if it was seen during school hours they sent me to isolation for the day.

festered · 01/11/2013 11:39

I'm torn on it. I dont think It's right but also don't think It's That much of a big deal. 12 is a bit young.

Dermals/surface peircings are painful (I just had one of mine tightened up a few weeks ago and I screamed, and I'm pretty 'hard' lol)
I wouldnt let my child do it until they were 16 and/or had assured me that they understood the implications and were prepared to look after it. All my piercings have got infected at one point or other and that isn't pretty!

Bunbaker · 01/11/2013 12:43

What kind of message does a 12 year old with piercings project. That she has stupid parents? That where she lives has dodgy piercing parlours? That her parents give in to every whim and fancy that she has? If yes to the last point, what kind of adult will she turn into?

Yes, I am being judgy and make no apologies for that. I think 12 is just too young for these kind of piercings.

fragola · 01/11/2013 12:57

YANBU, it's really horrible. I had my belly button pierced 20 years ago and I had to take ID to prove I was 18. It would have been unthinkable at the time that a child would have any sort of body piercing.

phantomnamechanger · 01/11/2013 13:10

wow I am really surprised at how many of you did/or your DC have, had multiple piercings at a young age ie under 16.

I had my ears done at 16! I had one friend who had a tatt in the late 80s when she was only 16 and against her mums wishes. It was quite rare then to even have 2 holes in ears, never mind elsewhere.

I have taught primary and secondary ages and have known many kids through my 3 DCs schools and clubs. Never have seen a child primary age with more than one hole per ear, and even at DDs secondary school the rule is one small stud per ear. OK so you cant generally see belly buttons etc but I think the kids would tell/brag about it.

Is this cultural/geographical? Is it more common in families where the parents have piercings/tatts themselves? I really am gobsmacked at how widespread this appears to be!

ravenAnyKucker · 01/11/2013 23:06

I don't think it's more common in families with piercings or tattoos.

My kids will be banned from lobe piercings in Claire's, for example, because I know better than to let an untrained Saturday assistant with a dirty gun near them!

So - sneaking off without my knowledge aside, any piercings they want will be done properly & post 14 at least. ..

LimitedEditionLady · 02/11/2013 12:33

I think ears are fine at 12 but id say no to the rest.at sixteen i got loads done,because my mum said no and i said ohhhh yeahhhhh

LimitedEditionLady · 02/11/2013 12:35

Come to think of it loadsa my friends had nose piercings when we were young

Birdsgottafly · 02/11/2013 12:50

My DD got her tongue and belly button done at 15. I went with her to one of the best places in my city.

She wants her first tattoo, when she turns 18 in December, she has wanted one since she was 15, but is sensible to realise that you need to think carefully and be sure of re design and placing, which very few under 18's are capable of.

My 15 year old has blue hair.

I know plenty of girls who have had tats and piercings under 16 and most regret it bitterly. There are a good portion which have no self control, which expands to other under age activity.

It is spoiling "coming off age" to indulge too early, as part of Milestone Birthdays are being able to do things that you previously couldn't.

It's the whole "instant gratification" and lack of discipline that is the most damaging, not the piercings themselves.

Birdsgottafly · 02/11/2013 12:51

I meant body piercings, which are different than ears.

Geckos48 · 02/11/2013 12:53

I would rather a child chose to have piercings (at whatever age) than was forced to be circumcised at birth.

I think as long as the child can choose for themselves its not too much of a problem, piercings aren't particularly damaging to the body.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 02/11/2013 13:00

Both of my dd's had their ears pierced as toddlers. Very frowned upon on here I know, but there it is.

Dd1 had her nose pierced at umm 14 i think, belly button at 15, and has just had her tongue done (she's 16 next week). She is desperate to get her first tattoo when she is 18.

Dd2 is 13, and did have her nose pierced but ended up taking it out.

It doesn't bother me at all. I have very strong minded daughters, who know what they want and within reason I will agree. Both dd's have had some tough times recently and so in the big scheme of things, getting a piercing is nothing.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 02/11/2013 13:04

Dd1 wants the hip piercings the op is talking about. I have said no for now, but she can go herself soon anyway.

Thants · 02/11/2013 13:10

Yanbu. It's stupid that people see ears as different to any other piercing. All piercings are harming a child for cosmetic reasons.

LimitedEditionLady · 02/11/2013 13:43

I dont think its harming if a childs at an age in which they decide that they want their ears pierced?its done in a clean sterile place,i dont think theres much risk to having a hole in your ear lobe like a pin prick.id let my child if they were old enough to decide that they wanted to,body piercings id say no until they leave year eleven.

wamabama · 02/11/2013 14:48

I got my belly button done at 12 with my mum's consent. My friends all had one at the time as well, it was just the "in" thing which I naturally followed at that age. Not sure why my mum agreed looking back but it triggered my obsession with piercings and at 13 and a half I got my lip done. I didn't even tell my parents, just went into a very reputable shop (luckily) and got it done. I always looked older, I think he thought I was 16 but didn't ask. I got home and my Mum went crazy and tried to get me to take it out but I told her it would get infected if I did and that I didn't know how to get it out anyway but after an argument we reached a compromise that I'd get it changed for a stud the following week.

By the time I was 14 and a half I had about 30 piercings, 10 in my face alone. My mum never consented, always hated them and argued with me over it but what could she do? There's no law against it and I just spent my pocket money on them. Tbh I was so hooked on them if there was some ban on them I'd have happily pierced myself (I did pierce my smiley myself) and potentially got an infection.

I was a bit of a goth and I don't regret it one bit now either because for me, it was all a part of growing up and rebelling I guess. Surface piercings do have a high rejection rate though, mainly because they get knocked about so easily. I had my wrist done and it has scarred so she might want to rethink that one. Not painful though as someone up thread said, the least painful ones.

Over all I don't have an issue with it. I'd rather they got a ring through their nose than got drunk or took drugs. I'd also rather take my DC to a reputable shop to get it done than have their mates do it for them or have them go to some dodgy place.

Bunbaker · 02/11/2013 15:39

"It is spoiling "coming off age" to indulge too early, as part of Milestone Birthdays are being able to do things that you previously couldn't."

An interesting point. DD made a big thing of getting a Facebook account when she turned 13. She is never off it now.

I wouldn't want DD to have multiple facial piercings only because I don't find them attractive. If that is what she wants to do when she is older I won't stop her, but I won't tell her they look nice because to me they look hideous.

LimitedEditionLady · 03/11/2013 12:01

Ive not had more piercings because of what my family would say and im in my twenties now,im kind of glad they said this though because one of my friends was 15 when she started all the tattoos and piercings and now i can imagine she will find it hard to get a job with strange cartoon pictures and band names all up her forearms and so many facial piercings rsoecually working in healthcare because although its judgemental employers will judge off this.

Birdsgottafly · 03/11/2013 12:09

"I think as long as the child can choose for themselves its not too much of a problem, "

"Do children ever make choices "for themselves" especially nearly teen girls? Are they from a good place, in some instances? Or thought or objectively? My DD's have been into every fad going between 10-16, but what I allow then to do, to show that they like a look, hasn't been possibly permanent.

The changing size and shape if a female body affects piercings, it doesn't sound as though that has been discussed.

As said my DD has some piercings at 15, the ones she had wouldn't scar. If my other DD stops wanting her hair Blue/Purple there is no harm done.

Body piercings are different, they can scar and get in the way of being a young person and indulging in hobbies/sports etc.

gemmal88 · 03/11/2013 13:18

I think babies and young kids with piercings look tacky. I had my ears pierced for my 13th birthday and will do the same with my daughter if she wants it.

As for the body piercing...

festered · 03/11/2013 17:14

I agree with Gecko. WamaBama one of my microdermals REALLY hurt, the other not so much but when I had to get a new top for it, it made me scream out lol.. And I'm not a wuss by any stretch of the imagination!

It does depend on the child a lot of the time, and I also think if the reasons for not letting a child do something because of how you thin other people will view the child (and you) is morally not a great reason. I understand it, but really it shouldn't be about that.
Babies and very young children, I don't think so .. It's the consent thing. I Saw a toddler getting her ears pierced once when I was in a shop buying jewellery, hearing the screams and the child knowing she had to go through it again for the other ear, Ugh! :(

womblesofwestminster · 04/11/2013 20:39

TheOriginalNutcracker - toddlers, why?

soverylucky · 04/11/2013 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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