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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think body piercings on a child are wrong

75 replies

Cantsleep · 31/10/2013 21:00

This will out me if any of dh's family are on here but I am so shocked.

Dh's niece is just 12 and a half. She had her ears pierced as a baby then got more holes in ears a few years later. 3 months ago she got her belly button pierced and now has her 'sides' pierced I think this is either side by hips but I'd never heard of it before.

AIBU to be so shocked by this? It seems so wrong. I honestly thought you had to be 16 or over for that sort of piercing? She seems so young to be doing this.

I'm not anti piercing, my dd who is 12 just had her ears pierced a few weeks ago after begging for months but body piercings seem wrong for children.

OP posts:
phantomnamechanger · 31/10/2013 22:02

no no no no no!

bleurgh!

Original poster
Cantsleep · 31/10/2013 22:05

It all just made me a bit Hmm as mil was raving about it, how brave dn is, how lovely it looks etc etc. this is the woman who never even sees my dd2 who is diabetic and on 4 injections a day and never says how brave she is Sad but that's just me being jealous I suppose.

Part of me does wonder why a parent would allow a child to have this done to their body when they are still growing-what happens if she puts on a lot of weight or has a growth spurt will the piercing dislodge. Just seems all wrong.

OP posts:
theoldtrout01876 · 01/11/2013 01:37

I think 12 is a bit young for body piercing

I had Dd1s ears pierced at birth. She had 3 holes in each ear by time she was 8,she asked,I had no problem with it. By time she was 12 she had 7 holes in 1 ear and 9 in the other. I took her for her nose pierced at 14 and her lip at 14 1/2. She got "dermals' or surface piercings at 15,just under her clavicles. They rejected at 16 and a bit and she had to have them removed.I have zero problem with this,Dd2 is almost 9 and just asked for a second hole in her ears ( she too had her ears done before she was 1 ) I will take her and have it done. Oh and both my boys are pierced also. They both have gauges in their ears ( I do hate those I must admit ). One has snake bites and one has his septum pierced. Dd1 has now gauged her ears,but keeping them relatively small

Piercings ( but not gauging ) is easily reversible,take em out,they go away. Young people need to express themselves and to me this is a harmless way for them to do so. The surface piercing leave a tiny scar when they are removed and dont be surprised if they reject. I would not have let any of my kids get body piercing at 12 though

Rockinhippy · 01/11/2013 01:51

YANBU & I was the one piercing my own belly button at 14 way back when it was unheard of - I lived to regret that one & have the scar to prove it, imdid my own septum & several extra ear peircings too - kids that age are often still too rough & tumble for it not to be a risk of getting caught up & ripped out - a friend who pierced his own nipples at the same age ended up with 4 nipples as a result of getting them ripped out & splitting his nipples in half.

My own DD is obsessed with piercings, she has her ears done & wants more, but no way in hell would we allow this to happen until she is much older & that's despite my having them young though I don't bother now & her Dad having a lot of piercings too

YADNBU & this girls family need a bloody good shake, they are not right in the headShock

Fakebook · 01/11/2013 01:55

Sides pierced?! Confused...why on earth would anyone do that? How does she sleep?

APartridgeAmongThePigeons · 01/11/2013 01:58

yanbu.

And I wouldn't step foot in to the kind of place that would pierce a child. It's bound to be shit.

ravenAnyKucker · 01/11/2013 02:10

Reputable piercing studios ask for id.

Anywhere that'll do this sort of piercing (dermal, or corset piercing? !) on an u16 is going to be dodgy.

I'd be inclined to find out where she's had this done & report; but there's a dodgy piercing/tattoo place in every town.

Best thing you can do is to talk to her about why some piercers are best avoided.
.

Theodorous · 01/11/2013 04:40

I was just about to groan and say another Goady baby ear piercing thread but sides etc is a bit much. I have a few scars from teenage piercing s and a couple of shitty tattoos as well. I wish I had waited.

Mojavewonderer · 01/11/2013 07:18

Some scar really badly actually. I have 2 scars in my eyebrows, 2 in my lips, 2 in my belly button, 1 in my tongue and 1 in each of my cheeks (face not butt Wink)
I took mine out because I realised they would hold me back when I started job hunting but the scars are still there 4 years on and I think they look awful. When getting piercings this is something that needs to be considered. Your niece op was and is too young to be getting those piercings and I personally think her parents are complete idiots for allowing her to do it! I suppose tattoos will be next (I have several) they certainly won't just heal up and disappear.

livinginwonderland · 01/11/2013 08:09

YY to mojave. I think facial/oral piercings should be 18+ because they can and will scar and people need to realise that. I have my nose pierced but I know if I take it out there'll always be a little dot there. I got it done this summer at 24 so I'm old enough to know the consequences.

I have friends who got facial piercings at 16/17 who regret it now because they have permanent scars. I don't think ear piercings (including cartilage/tragus) are a big deal so long as they can be removed/covered for PE, but for anything else I think you should have to be 16.

ChristineDaae · 01/11/2013 08:14

I love piercings, have 6 but no way would I allow that. The shop I got my tongue done at wanted parental permission because I wasn't 18 (3 weeks before my 18th birthday!) to me that's a sign of a good responsible piercer. I would worry about the practices of somewhere willing to surface pierce a child that young. Very odd of her parents, the thought of that during PE! Plus she will have to take them out in no time... It's not likely her hips of all places are going to stay the same during her teenage years.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 01/11/2013 08:26

I had my belly button pierced at 12, my eyebrow at 14, first tattoo at 16, lots more of everything followed Grin I haven't regretted any of them, perhaps I am lucky, but in truth I don't know anyone who has regretted them either tbh.

Odd this is, I cant wear earrings. My ears swell up and are very painful - I have tried all types of material and nothing settles. I had them pierced when I was 11. Weird!

I cant see the difference between belly button and ears - surely its easier to cover a belly button scar than ears! Is it just down to hat e are used to seeing perhaps?

Ohwhatwitcheryisthis · 01/11/2013 08:27

Oh no one is bu about objecting. This is a child-if we let children make all their own decisions then gods they would end up doing all sorts of inappropriate shit. It drives me nuts at school when we get girls saying "ooo i cant do pe cos i've just had my belly button pierced" ~(and then spend ages playing with it-boak) at 12/13/14. Ears-once-whatever. But anything else? I would be asking who actually wants this-the kid or the dp. (ducks)

Bunbaker · 01/11/2013 08:36

This is so wrong in many ways. What were her parents thinking?

Seff · 01/11/2013 09:07

I'm a bit torn about this. For me, it would depend a lot on the child in question (and this goes for ears too). If a 12 year old can understand the implications, possible consequences, how to care for a new piercing themselves, getting it done in summer holidays (if schooled) so it has time to heal etc. then I would possibly agree to it.

I would also want to know why my daughter/son was wanting to get it done, are there any other issues playing a part in it?

Rockinhippy · 01/11/2013 09:09

You are lucky, very young or in denial then Baby -lots of my friends are heavily tattooed & pierced & every single one of them regrets the stuff they had done early, all have had ended up with more & biger tatoos than they would have chosen as they cover up the early naff work they had done as teens & lots like me have scars from early piercings that ended out getting ripped out

Skinheadmermaid · 01/11/2013 09:24

Hm on one hand my mum took me to have my nose pierced at 12 and my lip pierced at 13...but well i wouldn't recommend surface piercings to adult or child.
Is she a mature 12? Will she take care of the piercings and not knock them running around?
Sounds a bit odd to me more then anything.
They will most likely grow out in a year and she will be left with very prominant scars.
I had my nape pierced quite happily for years then one day it got an infection and would not go no matter what i tried. I had to take it out and eventually tattooed over the scar.
which hurt like a bitch

GiddyStars · 01/11/2013 09:26

In London there are rules about age restrictions for body piercing but these do vary from borough to borough. All the reputable studios I have been in apart from the dodgy one I sought out when I was 15 for underage tattoos have a blanket no under 16 or 18 depending on the borough.

Surface piercings on a 12 year old are inappropriate and a concern imo.

GiddyStars · 01/11/2013 09:28

And yes to Rockin I have bigger tattoos (which I love) now covering up shitty, poorly done and ill thought out tattoos I had done as a teen.

SabrinaMulFUCKERJjones · 01/11/2013 09:36

Wow, really surprised by this. The guy who did my belly button piercing (many years ago- in those heady pre-children days) said he would never tattoo or body pierce someone under 18, even if the parent was there with them - because he considered children too young to make that sort of decision.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 01/11/2013 09:43

I love piercings and tattoos - I have my own, but no way to multiple piercings/body piercings/etc under the age of 16. Definitely not facial piercings. I like them on adults but they always make me twitchy on young teens.

pizzachickenhotforyou · 01/11/2013 09:48

I think anywhere that pierces someone so young is stupid.

But I'm torn on this one.

I think it's disgusting. But I also know people who when very young were piercing themselves using frozen potato waffles and burgers to numb their nipples belly buttons etc, stolen vodka for the pain and then sticking manky needles into themselves.

I wouldn't want my child pierced at 12 but if it was a choice between taking her to a clean studio to get it done, and keeping an eye on it myself for infection etc and her doing it in secret with potato waffles and hiding a weeping seeping yellowing mess from me until she passed out with an infection ... well not really a choice there.

LEMisafucker · 01/11/2013 09:55

Is this a wind-up??? 12!!! FFS (of course i know its not a wind-up, just expressing my incredulity that someone would do this to a 12 year old).

Is this child also over made up and inappropriately dressed? That is the image in my mind.

I SUPPOSE we are all throwing our hands up in horror because piercing is just not part of our culture/modern society? One could ask "where is the harm"? So long as it i done properly, sterile etc. However there ARE health risks with belly button piercings and i would never allow my DD to have one. I went with her when she was 15 to get a lip piercing, i was fine with her having tht done and went with her to reassure myself that it was being done properly. I think she had a futher piercing on the bottom lip later on, but they have closed up now. I totally wouldnt allow her to have her belly button done though, thankfully she grew out of the idea. She has a fair few tattoos now - she loos great (she is 23 now). So there is also the argument that it starts with piercings............ but yes, 12 is too young - i don't even think i let DD have her ears done until she was 14.

Original poster
Cantsleep · 01/11/2013 10:05

Not a wind up sadly. She is quite 'grown up' for her age so no doubt will clean/ be careful with the piercings etc.

She does tend to dress a lot older, make up, very short tops, padded bras, hair dyed etc. Maybe that's normal though-I have my dd who is 5 months younger than dn who still wears vests as thinks her bras are too uncomfy and needs reminding to brush her hair (she would rather be playing or drawing)! Perhaps somewhere in the middle between dd and dn would be about right!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 01/11/2013 11:32

What are the rules at her school re the piercings?

At DD's school all piercings have to be removed for PE regardless of where they are.

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