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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sometimes swear around the children?

96 replies

appletarts · 30/10/2013 19:56

Ok, I think in theory swearing around children is bad but am I a terrible mother for occasionally swearing around my children? I have never ever sworn at them and never ever would. But I sometimes say shit, bollocks or fuck Blush It's usually if I'm frustrated with something or dropped something or if we're really late and I'm getting stressed. It's by no means part of my regular conversation style, maybe once every few days. Children are 4 and 2. Am I a monster?

OP posts:
TooTabooToBOOOOO · 30/10/2013 19:58

Never swear at, but regularly swear in front of.

She knows not to repeat, she thinks swearing is awful.

I agree, but I can't help it - I am having a bugger of a time with frustration/lack of concentration/inability to articulate instructions etc and sometimes it's easier to swear.

It's a non issue for me really.

Jengnr · 30/10/2013 20:01

I'm trying to moderate my language in front of my ten month old but I'm not very good.

I end up saying things like 'Jeepers creepers, what a cunt'

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 30/10/2013 20:02

I accidently swore at my 12yo the other day Blush he thought it was hilarious. I was mortified.

Original poster
appletarts · 30/10/2013 20:03

Oh I feel like weeping with relief!

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 30/10/2013 20:04

i swear all the time, always have done, i blame years of working on a city trading floor, i don't even notice i'm doing it and tbh have been surprised when, for instance, teachers or GPs raise their eyebrows at me at swear words being used in ordinary conversation.

dc are 12, 5 and 3, they don't seem to notice it and although all went through a phase at about age 2 of saying "for fuck's sake!" when their lego tower fell over, none of them persisted with it.

TooTabooToBOOOOO · 30/10/2013 20:04

don't get relieved too soon OP.

Somebody will be along shortly to tell us that we're hideous beasts Wink

bearleftmonkeyright · 30/10/2013 20:04

I do it too, shit, bugger, bollocks, when I have lost my keys or phone. I just don't think sometimes.

mrsravelstein · 30/10/2013 20:04

ds2, aged 5, asked me the other day why people were driving over a patch of grass instead of on the road and i replied "cos they're wankers", then thought, oh possibly i should have moderated that comment in advance. hey ho.

bearleftmonkeyright · 30/10/2013 20:07

Thank Christ for you mrsravel Grin loving your posts.

AMumInScotland · 30/10/2013 20:11

Well, it doesn't actually hurt them, so hardly 'monster' territory. And most children will hear these things somewhere, sooner or later, so you don't need to be mortified when they come out with them too.

But, sooner or later, you are probably going to want to tell your children not to swear, and it can be trickier if you do it yourself Grin

tethersend · 30/10/2013 20:12

Not me, I can't stand fucking swearing.

FraidyCat · 30/10/2013 20:13

I fail to meet the standards DW would like me to have. However it's working out OK, it turns out that DD (3.3) would rather remonstrate with me than imitate me. (In response to overhead "for fuck's sake" she might say "Daddy! You said a bad word!")

DW has told her that she can't say bad words or her best friend's mother won't let them play together.

mrsravelstein · 30/10/2013 20:15

ds1 (12) seems to understand perfectly well the concept that i can swear (and drink/smoke/drive) because i'm an adult, whereas he is a kid and therefore can't.

he swears when talking to his mates, but not when talking to his teachers, his grandma, my friends. and he puts up with me hypocritically asking him not use anything worse than 'crap'/'shit' etc in conversation with me.

Higgledyhouse · 30/10/2013 20:15

I'm with you OP. Am always swearing around the kids, never directed at them just the using fucks, bollocks, shit etc in the presence mostly when im frustrated, rushing etc. I know it's wrong and should stop myself but I'm not beating myself up either. I'm not perfect and at 7 & 5 it's in one ear and out the other for my kiddies.

TwoStepsBeyond · 30/10/2013 20:17

My 6 yo DD was singing a little ditty this morning to her brothers along the lines of "we don't say the f word, we don't say the s word, we only say good words"!

She may hear them more often than I care to admit, but she knows not to repeat them.

Lizzylou · 30/10/2013 20:18

I never, ever did.
Then we moved house this week, decided to do it ourselves as we had time and help. Then help was ill. So it was me and dh and one of those rental vans with a tail lift and 2 young boys wanting to enjoy half term.
The words those boys have heard their Mother utter whilst having her face squished by a wardrobe/chest of drawers whatever.

harticus · 30/10/2013 20:18

My son knows that there is some language that only adults can use - the language mummy uses when she is driving for example. Grin

He has never sworn eventhough he has always been exposed to it.
I am sure the day will come ....

CrispyFB · 30/10/2013 20:21

Mine know that swearing is only okay in the car, which is where 95% of my swearing occurs, nearly always unconsciously. My two year old has been known to helpfully yell "fucking hell" from his car seat before I've had the chance if I use my horn Blush And my six year old has asked me to "drive like a twat" because she needed me to get home fast as she needed the toilet.

But they mind their manners everywhere else. And that's what matters!

TheWinterOne · 30/10/2013 20:22

I often fall in the trap of saying 'oh shit or 'fuck it!' when in the middle of something or for example when I'm cooking and something spits out and scolds.

Thankfully mine don't bat too much of an eyelid and don't pick up to copy it. I do try my best to watch my language but yes there are occasional slip-ups.

killpeppa · 30/10/2013 20:22

it just comes out like word vomit.
my mum is hilarious she'll say,
'oh ssssshhhhhhhhhugar'

ZenNudist · 30/10/2013 20:26

I swore at 3yo ds tonight after he was prattling around in nursery car park stomping all over my car seats& refusing to get into his own seats the thing that finally tipped me over the edge was when I was leaning into the car he lunged at me and head butted me very hard (by enthusiastic accident). My response: "that fucking hurt!".

Queue embarrassment & guilty looking round car park to be relieved no one was about. Then worried on way home how swearing is such an inate part of my language& how I need to control it but how in extreme circs eg physical injury.

perplexedpirate · 30/10/2013 20:27

Grin@ jeepers creepers what a cunt!

ZenNudist · 30/10/2013 20:29

CrispyFB your post made me cry laughing!

HairyGrotter · 30/10/2013 20:30

I swear like a sailor whether DD is near or not. She laughs (she's 5) I've explained that it's the beauty of language and there is, in theory, nothing wrong with it but many folk find it ghastly, especially from the mouths of babes...

She's a smart cookie as she called my evil BIL a bellend, not to his face, but to me. Spot on!

Crowler · 30/10/2013 20:34

I can't help to let an occasional "oh, for fuck's sake" slip out. I really try not to, but it does.