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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sometimes swear around the children?

96 replies

appletarts · 30/10/2013 19:56

Ok, I think in theory swearing around children is bad but am I a terrible mother for occasionally swearing around my children? I have never ever sworn at them and never ever would. But I sometimes say shit, bollocks or fuck Blush It's usually if I'm frustrated with something or dropped something or if we're really late and I'm getting stressed. It's by no means part of my regular conversation style, maybe once every few days. Children are 4 and 2. Am I a monster?

OP posts:
SteamWisher · 30/10/2013 20:39

YABU that's horrible.

MomentForLife · 30/10/2013 20:42

I swear in front of DD. She thinks it's appalling and snitches on me to Grandma. It's not all the time, it's the occasional for fucks sake or shit.

Lizzylou · 30/10/2013 20:46

I really, really hate kids swearing though. Mibe are of the age that they know swear words from normal language. I actually feel awful that they have heard me the last 2 days. I have managed to not swear in front of them for 9 years.
I don't think a 2 yr old should be swearing! Not at all.

Crowler · 30/10/2013 20:50

I cannot abide kids swearing. I don't care if it's hypocritical. I'm allowed to drink, swear, & have sex, they are not.

elliegoulding · 30/10/2013 20:50

haha at 'Jeepers creeepers whar a cunt' love it ... this thread has given me hope! xxGrin

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 30/10/2013 20:52

I swear. I am taking the view that DD should at least know how to use the words correctly...

I do try to moderate/limit it, but sometimes I forget. Last time was when DD bit me - I was incapable of moderating to 'sugar'.

SteamWisher · 30/10/2013 20:56

Swearing in adults and children is pretty shitty IMO!

TigOldBitties · 30/10/2013 20:57

I do and always have done.

We are a family of potty mouths, my mum being the worst. Swearing doesn't bother me. They're just words and the only reason I wouldn't let my young children swear is the offence/issues it would cause amongst other parents and adults. My teen DC swear, although stick to the rules about not in front of people it may upset.

I also don't think it does any harm to say "no this is a grown up word".

Ok there have been a few incidents, "mummy I SHAT everywhere" being my favourite, but really its fine. So not an issue to worry about.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 30/10/2013 20:57

Loving being asked to 'drive like a twat'!

Yeah, I do it too. My kids are all old enough to understand that I don't mean anything by it (they recognise aggressive language out and about) so it rolls off them.

They also understand to do as I say, not as I do.

Whereisegg · 30/10/2013 20:58

Crispy your post has me in fucking stitches Grin

ControlCreeeaaak · 30/10/2013 21:00

A friend of mine thought she had been so careful not to swear in front of her DC. Then she fell downstairs. Her 3 year old had to call for an ambulance for her. When asked what the problem was, "mummy's broken her fucking foot" Halloween Grin

KirjavaTheCorpse · 30/10/2013 21:03

I drop things and swear, I really can't help it. I do try to jam the words back into my mouth though.

Yesterday I dropped, and smashed, a bowl: "FFFFFUUUUUHHHH... Oh dear..." < I was very proud of myself.

Tweasels · 30/10/2013 21:07

I'm terrible for this. The carving of the pumpkins caused some quite frankly disgusting behaviour from me today. When I caught DD smearing the foul innards of the pumpkin into her hair all my standards withered.

I actually think it's fine. They're just words and as long as there's context and your children understand that it's not too bad.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 30/10/2013 21:09

You do realise we're all going to hell once the Daily Fail get hold of this don't you? Grin

FranSanDisco · 30/10/2013 21:18

'Drive that a twat' ROFL. I totally agree that swearing in the car is fine. DS (11 yo) told my BIL (Headmaster) that he knew all the swear words as Mum uses them Blush.

Yodeleeiay · 30/10/2013 21:49

God you all make me feel so much better! I mostly don't but when DH is on a long work trip and I'm stressed I let out fuckers, buggers and shit.

I still cringe at this - I run a singing group for toddlers who don't have much English at home and am of course impeccably polite there. One time as I was tidying up, my DS (2.4) was playing with the last other little boy, running the width of the room and diving onto the beanbags at the end. Only DS was shouting as he ran, 'FUCKER, FUCKER, FUCKER!' and then 'SHIT!' as he dived. Of course the other boy started to copy him, so both of them were swearing like troopers at full volume.

I was desperately trying to pretend not to notice and chat unconcernedly to the remaining mother as I tidied and tried to stop my face turning puce with shame... Luckily DS is a mumbled talker so when she inevitably noticed she laughed and said it sounded like he was swearing and I should video it... Then we had to watch them for 5 more long minutes trying to work out what DS was 'trying' to say.

Really, how do you stop DC copying you? I hate sweary children. (DC don't swear at the moment but only because I'm in a clean phase myself.)

CloverkissSparklecheeks · 30/10/2013 21:52

I swear quite a lot but the DCs (7 & 5) know that they are not allowed to swear. My dad always swore and aside from calling my brother a little bastard when I was two I never ever swore in front of any adults my whole life and have only recently started swearing in front my parents.

I don't really think it is great to swear in front of DCs but they do have to hear it at some point and I would prefer for them to know and understand that they must not swear rather than hearing it at school and repeating it then.

Ohwhatwitcheryisthis · 30/10/2013 22:13

my language is shite. But I don't drop the c bomb. .. Much. (But the poor twat that called me about ppi tosh hard it several times) I swear shit loads in front of dc. But never in front of my mum.

MuffCakes · 30/10/2013 22:21

I have always sworn, it's got better now but yes I say fuck it and fuck off (not to them) a lot. They have never ever came out with it to me.

OTOH my nan swears now and again her saying is bloody hell and the dc have said this a few times, I haven't even told them off I just ignored it while giving them the look and that stage soon passed.

honeybeeridiculous · 30/10/2013 22:24

I realised I probably swore too much when my DD was little, whenever she dropped something aged about 2, she used to yell "oh shit" Grin she didn't do it for long tho and it made me think about my language, to this day I say "shin" instead!

debbie1412 · 30/10/2013 22:24

Jeepers creepers what a cunt....lol lol lol lol :-)

Wallison · 30/10/2013 22:31

This thread has made me laugh and laugh and also feel better about my own potty mouth - I love 'drive like a twat'!. I am a swearer by nature, and I have tried to tone it down in front of my son but as he's getting older and picking up lots of interesting words in the playground I'm less worried about it than I used to be. He nearly pissed himself laughing at me when our train was cancelled recently and I said "Shit the fucking bed" - I mean, it really tickled him, and he has asked me loads of times since "Say shit the fucking bed again Mummy, please say it, I love it". So I guess he will be a swearer when he grows up again. Meh. There are worse things you can do, and actually if done properly then swearing can be very creative - I don't hold with this 'limited vocabulary' stuff - words like fuck and cunt etc are some of the most versatile words in our language if you know how to use them.

Dawndonnaagain · 30/10/2013 22:36

Swear like a trooper. Dd at about three and a half did call the removal van blocking our path to nursery a bunch of tosspots once, but that's been about it really. My youngest are 17 now, know when they can, know when they can't. Don't have a problem with it at all.

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER · 30/10/2013 22:43

Crispy - my sides hurt now Grin

I'm very good around very small children - less good when they understand there are words that only adults use within earshot of adults at least.

I make up for it on MN Grin

Bragadocia · 30/10/2013 22:48

We bundled into the house from being in the pouring rain the other week, and DS (3.10) said, "it's a bit 'bloody hell' out there, Mummy." He's been relishing this new expression and repeatedly using it since. The way he says it is just like me, 'baluddy helllllll', with an extra syllable in the 'bloody' and a drawn out 'hell'. I find it hilarious.

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