To think being mistaken for a lesbian is nothing to be offended about

[NancyShrew]

Two of my mutual friends (a and b) were out shopping for baby clothes for a's impending baby (she is 32 weeks! ). In one of the stores one of the shop assistants assumed that a and b (both married) were a couple and mentioned it to them in conversation. She was swiftly corrected but a brought this up over coffee with a couple of other friends last week and seems pretty offended that anyone could think she's a lesbian. I really don't see the problem?

Also another mutual friend c commented that "b does look like a lesbian" in response up this! What does a lesbian even look like?!

Snargaluff so if you see any duo shopping together for baby clothes you assume they're shagging? That really is odd! I once went shopping for babygros with my Dad fgs!

My friend and I went shopping for house stuff (she was moving) when I was about 9 months pregnant. A lovely shop assistant assumed we were a couple and organised free delivery for the heavy stuff for us because "It's really a two person job and your girlfriend wont really be able to help".

I was chuffed because quite frankly my friend is far too good looking for me! My friend was delighted that she didn't have to pay for delivery.

I have been mistaken for a lesbian a few times, but it would never bother me, like how I don't get annoyed if people assume i'm straight.

Erm... No, I just meant when working in retail you do tend to make assumptions about people. I wouldn't say anything unless I was certain, but if I saw a man and woman of similar age poring over baby clothes I would likely assume they were a couple. I don't think that's strange.

Someone once thought that my mum was my partner.
Bit fucked up that was.

I am very tall and have over the years been mistaken for a man, a transvestite, a drag queen, a transsexual and yes a lesbian on a few occasions.

The whole thing is ridiculous .... but offensive? Nah.

I was propositioned twice in my youth. I was bloody delighted, chuffed to bits.
Somehow I value the validation from another woman more than the Menz. Hmm

Lurcio, yes, I am aware, hence the way I worded the post.

I get mistaken too...I play a sport that is traditionally male and the other players assumed I had a 'wife' at home until I told them I had been married over 20 yrs to DH and had 3 DC. It doesn't bother me, why should it? I am a 'tomboy' even now and I'm late 40s now. I'm secure in myself and am who I am..

*MrTumblesKnickers" it does happen. I'm in my early 30s and went baby clothes shopping with my grey-haired 70 year old father. The shop assistant found a babygro I was looking for and said "shall I give this to your partner". Oh how I laughed!!

Bet your dad was mortified, too! It's a minefield working in retail, obviously!

but snargaluff isn't it 90% more likely that a male-female shopping duo looking at baby clothes will be a couple than a female-female couple due to the 1:9 gay-straight ratio? (that's a genuine question btw, my logic and nowledge of prabablility is shocking)

Maybe it's because I've never been in a long term relationship but I would never assume two people of the same sex were a couple. I baby shopped as a pair with about 12 different female friends, my sister, 2 or 3 cousins and my mum. I was never assumed to be a couple.

I don't think I'd be offended but I'd probably be surprised. I just wouldn't make the automatic connection of 2 people together = romantic couple.

"That sounds such a stereotype doesn't it? I have heterosexual friends who dress badly too. "

So you wouldn't want people thinking you were straight either then?

I've been taken for a lesbian a few times, but not in such a polite manner. Once was when I was in a carpet shop with DH, who has long hair (mine is short).

I couldn't give a shit if someone is trying to Get it Right, as in the case of the carpet salesmen. I'm more amused at the Trying Too Hard than anything. I've been called it as an intended insult, though - but not to my face. My reaction was more bemused, then - if it had been to my face, I'd have asked for an explanation of the problem the person had with my perceived sexuality (which is ambiguous and that's something I'm perfectly happy with).

I went to a lesbian colleagues's party recently and met a lot of her gay friends. They were all attractive women who were good fun and I thoroughly enjoyed their company.

I would not see that as any insult at all

manic - I'd make the same assumption as you about two women baby shopping. It wouldn't even cross my mind to assume they slept together - even if both were apparently "stereotypical" lesbians.

Eh, I've been mistaken for gay before and it wasn't a big deal. It was actually kind of a chuckle.

The shop assistant was probably just trying to be inclusive.

I would be really offended because I'd assume they thought I looked butch.

I get mistaken for a vegetarian lesbian quite frequently.

I am neither.

Not in the least offended, but I don't want to be accused of false advertising by looking gay if I'm not iyswim. Not that is stops me from having short hair and androgynous clothes.

"I get mistaken for a vegetarian lesbian quite frequently."

Not sure why this absolutely creased me! But it did

My 15 yo dd said to me last week that if she didn't know me and know that I was married to her father, she might think I was a lesbian.

Atia!

I still have no idea why, but it was very funny

I think alot of people still have the ridiculous idea that all lesbian women are butch, as a recently realised bisexual myself who is anything but butch even i was suprised only recently at a party where an extremely gorgeous girly looking blonde introduced me to her girlfriend who was another gorgeous looking woman, you would never assume either of them were gay, you cant tell someones sexuality by looking at them.

Of course it's nothing to be offended about..!?