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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that fancy dress is just..urrgh

66 replies

taxiforme · 28/10/2013 23:12

That's it really. I am going away on a hen weekend next week organised by a close friend. Two themed nights. I would rather eat my own hair than dress up as a pirate or a nun. Or Star Wars character. I am mad and passive aggressive..why can't I just say I would rather wear my own (very nice) going out clothes that I don't get to wear very often.

Sorry, that's it.

OP posts:

Cupcake1985 · 29/10/2013 10:10

I say don't be so boring and rude! Am I the only one who thinks if you're on a hen do you are friends with the woman and so should do whatever makes her happy because actually it isn't about you.

On my hen do my friends organised army girls fancy dress for me and everyone did it even the girl who didn't like it. Great. However said girl did apparently kick up a fuss about it with everyone pre do - she also didn't want to wear the t shirts, head boppers etc during the day when we were at its a knock out (hen and stag inflatables activity) even though everyone there was doing similar things so hardly a big deal. Even now I think she was rude and put a dampener on everything. It's tainted the friendship as I was going through such a hard time around then and really needed my friends to be supportive and loving for all of two days. Her unwillingness to do what my chief bridesmaid asked and not moan, instead of what she wanted, just made her look pathetic and selfish to all my other friends.

I would suggest you hide your feelings and just appear enthusiastic whatever your asked to do if you do love your friend because that's what real friends do :)

mrsjay · 29/10/2013 10:22

dd was going to go to her school party as a crayon i hate adult dress up it makes me shudder, OP wear a black dress/outfitgo and but a hair band with cat ears on and thats you dressed up my friend had a 6glam^ hen do i bought a boa from the pound shop

mrsjay · 29/10/2013 10:23

buy a hairband*

mrsjay · 29/10/2013 10:24

Nope, it's a pirate or a nun.

oh um didnt read this a bandanna and sword

MelanieCheeks · 29/10/2013 10:30

My favoruite Singalongasoundamusic outfit was when I went as a brown paper package tied up with string

Nun or pirate - well, that's not so difficult to blend with your own clothes surely. Get a hairband wimple, keep your outfit black, or go for an eyepatch with something stripey. After the first drink, discreetly "lose" your gimmicky accessory in the loo.

intitgrand · 29/10/2013 10:35

but it's not about you is it? it's about your friend who is getting married.

mrsjay · 29/10/2013 10:40

melanie that is what i did with a boa i stupidly left it in the last pub

It is ok for people to say oh it is not about you but if you are really uncomfortable dressing up to the point you are miserable anda bit sweaty thinking about it then it is a problem you won't enjoy yourself, a HEn do is supposed to be a friends getting together isn't it so you need to actually want to be there and enjoy yourself,

EvilTiggyD · 29/10/2013 10:41

If people have a 'choice' whether to go or not, fancy dress is fine. I like a fancy dress now and then. In the situation the OP is in, I don't think it was a good idea. It means your choices are:
Dress up and have a rotten time.
Don't dress up and cause splits.
Don't go and upset people.

SuburbanRhonda · 29/10/2013 10:41

OP, go as a Party Pooper and wear your own clothes

mrsjay · 29/10/2013 10:45

OP just drink rum all night wave your sword about a bit throw in the odd ARRRRR it will be fine

Dahlen · 29/10/2013 10:52

Seeing as fancy dress outfits are nearly always 100% polyester, can you claim a sudden allergy to synthetic materials?

Dahlen · 29/10/2013 10:53

Pirate is easy to adapt - dark jeans, nice top with billowy sleeves, knee-high boots and just add a waistcoat and/or eyepatch, hat, neck scarf or any combination of.

CruCru · 29/10/2013 11:23

I hate this sort of thing. I went on a hen do where we were given t shirts. I'd known about this and had given the Chief Bridesmaid my realistic size but she decided she wanted it to be "sexy" and bought them all two sizes too small. Ugh. I am not thin enough to wear something that shows my stomach.

I ended up wearing it over another top so I was too hot but didn't feel obscene.

BewitchedBefuzzledBewildered · 29/10/2013 11:39

Best costume Ever

How about this as a costume?

SomethingOnce · 29/10/2013 11:42

Brilliant!

BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor · 29/10/2013 21:07

Wow cupcake with friends like you your friend doesn't need enemies. Are you usually so bitchy and nasty about them.

If I ever get married my hen night will be about me but I'd never dream of insisting that my friends did something that made them uncomfortable. I'm not that self absorbed and it's not what friends do.

OP YANBU I'm not a big fan of fancy dress. Fancy dress, of your choosing at a party is just about tolerable. Themed fancy dress on a hen night, usually the sexy (boak) type stuff, no thank you.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 30/10/2013 09:10

uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Mother_Angelica is a Pirate nun.

I'd be tempted to go in a Wimple, eye patch and beard. Don't do sexy, do hideous- much funnier.

I am a bit at pressurizing friends into doing things that they feel very uncomfortable and unhappy about....

Theodorous · 30/10/2013 11:58

I agree completely. In the 70s people just used to dress up. Now eBay is full of vile "sexy" stuff.

bubalou · 30/10/2013 12:33

I love a certain type of fancy dress (not being kinky).

I mean that maybe if it's halloween and I'm a zombie or something funny etc.

I'm not a fan of the slutty outfits but that's because I feel old and boring and a bit past it!

I recently got invited to a hen weekend but we all apparently 'had' to wearers and black on the first night and these stupid tutu skirts and matching t-shirts the second night!

What a shame I wasn't able to make it

moogy1a · 30/10/2013 13:01

she also didn't want to wear the t shirts, head boppers etc
It's tainted the friendship
ha ha ha. really??!!!!!

5Foot5 · 30/10/2013 13:05

Oh I wish someone would invite me to a fancy dress do. I would love to dress up as a pirate or a num

FoxyRevenger · 30/10/2013 13:30

cupcake you seriously feel your friendship is 'tainted' because your friend didn't want to look like an arse wear head boppers?

It's that kind of attitude that makes me decline invitations to horrible nasty childish hen parties.

cardibach · 30/10/2013 13:46

I agree that the wedding is (mostly) about the bride (and groom, of course) but I think a Hen Night is more about celebrating the friends you have had while single and signalling you still want to spend time with them. I really don't think it is 'all about you' or your right to make them feel uncomfortable if it will make you happy. Making my friends unhappy would not make me happy anyway, so I have to disagree Cupcake. I also think you are being a bit hysterical and unreasonable saying it has 'tainted' your friendship.
I hate fancy dress too, OP, and would feel really uncomfortable about this. I usually get a pasting on here when I say that though. I don't know how to enjoy myself, apparently

Theodorous · 30/10/2013 16:26

I agree with foxy personally would say I would rather chew off my own bum hole than attend but probably would actually call sick on the day. How weird to expect people to dress up like that and enjoy it if they were patently people who wouldn't. Not nice friendship.

Theodorous · 30/10/2013 16:30

Oh and in case nobody realised...feminism happened around 1962 and is still apparently going on.

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