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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people let their DC play with sticks?

123 replies

ladyandthechocolate · 27/10/2013 06:10

My DS1 and 2 are 3.5 and have a few good friends who they play with a lot in the park before and after preschool. I am friends with their parents too. Most days, two children in particular turn up with sticks that they proceed to run around and play fight with (until I take them away like the total spoilsport I am!).

I remember when I was little, a child being blinded by a stick and it has stuck with me ever since. Losing a eye is a terrible thing but most parents seem a bit blasé about the issue or else it just hasn't occurred to them that it could happen.

Maybe I'm being a bit paranoid? I don't let mine play with sticks and I don't want them being put at risk by others doing so as well.

OP posts:
CalmaLlamaDown · 27/10/2013 06:57

We have collection of special sticks in the car boot that DS cannot bear to leave in the woods. I don't think you are being unreasonable to be worried given your past experience knowing a child that lost an eye. I was super paranoid about giving my infant son whole grapes for a very long time as my mother knows someone who lost a child after they choked on a grape (sitting in a supermarket trolley) I think this happened when i was a child but it always stuck with her and she passed the worry on to me. You probably won't be so anxious when they get a bit older

littlewhitebag · 27/10/2013 06:59

You don't need to ban stick playing you need to teach safe playing. With anything, sticks or toys they shouldn't be brandished in the face. Just say to the other child " not in the face" then let them get on with it.

RoadToTuapeka · 27/10/2013 06:59

My uncle has one glass eye as his eye was so damaged after an incident with a stick as a child. My dad who was there (no the poker though) is extremely cautious about sticks now and this has rubbed off on me. But little boys just gravitate to sticks, and it's tricky to watch every move they make. I don't like mine running with them or playing fighting/sword games with them.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 27/10/2013 07:00

Mmm, just tell them not to.

If my two are in boisterous mood anything becomes a weapon. Who knew the wounding potential and sheer destructive power of crabapples for example? My DS1 and one particular friend seem to have a shared genius in this area and have the bruises to prove it! (They did stop when I told them to).

LordPalmerston · 27/10/2013 07:01

Meh. I got a scratched retina from s1's finger. Horses. Courses.

LordPalmerston · 27/10/2013 07:02

Maybe make them wear science goggles

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:04

I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. They need to be taught, as SoupDragon says, to play fight without jabbing it towards the face. Taking the stick away doesn't teach them anything.
I find parents with young children very naive, they seem to have the view that 'mummy says don't do it, so they won't'! They get older and you can't be with them every minute and the lesson they get is 'if mummy says don't do it then don't do it if mummy can see'. Therefore it is much better to get them to play with sticks responsibly.
You can put eyes out with all sorts of objects and you can't start banning pencils etc.

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:05

Wearing googles was the ridiculous answer to conker fighting!

natwebb79 · 27/10/2013 07:05

Make them wear science goggles. Grin

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:06

You do worry about childhood when they can't play with conkers, sticks, slide in ice etc.

Mojavewonderer · 27/10/2013 07:08

Oh dear you would hate it round mine then because my kids have wooden swords and bow & arrows which are used for fighting each other when playing Robin Hood.

ScaryBeardyDeadyman · 27/10/2013 07:09

Grin @ stick intolerant!

I wonder if they have an aisle for that in the supermarket...

Oblomov · 27/10/2013 07:11

My two love sticks.
We can all see that this thread is pointless.
Us: OP YABU
OP: no, I'm not.
Continues ......

WhenSheWasBadSheWasExhausted · 27/10/2013 07:13

I thought play fighting was normal, obviously they need to be told not near the face.

So yes I think you are being a bit paranoid.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasExhausted · 27/10/2013 07:15

obo

^Us: OP YABU
OP: no, I'm not^

I've done this on a few AIBU. I think I spent the whole night trying to rephrase my arguement Grin

TEErickOrTEEreat · 27/10/2013 07:15

So, business as usual then Oblomov?

Halloween Grin
ArabellaBeaumaris · 27/10/2013 07:15

My rule is no sticks above shoulder height when near others.

ScaryBeardyDeadyman · 27/10/2013 07:16

I HAVE A SOLUTION!!!

Put tennis balls on the end of the sticks to provide a soft, safe surface for smacking each other in the face. Now all you need is something sharp to poke a hole in the tennis balls...

claraschu · 27/10/2013 07:17

Did anyone look at my link from 6:44:53? Just wondering because the book is really good.

Dwinhofficoffi · 27/10/2013 07:22

It's all about risk and children understanding risk.

The best pre school I have had the opportunity to observe (takes children from age 2.5) has times when the children use saws to saw up branches. It is very controlled and the children understand the boundaries and also their own limitations.

I would show them what you can do with sticks for example dig with them.

By allowing some risks the children will learn to manage risk themselves.

ll31 · 27/10/2013 07:23

playing with sticks is surely impossible to stop aanyway...! Yabu op. Plenty more dangers to come.. Teach and watch, don't ban

Peacocklady · 27/10/2013 07:23

Totally agree with you OP and I knew exactly what you meant in first post. Some parents blissfully ignore their kids wafting and jabbing sticks because it's nature you know. They may be just playing but some kids start wheeling things around and can cause havoc and their parents should stop them
Anything dangerous used as weapon, like a stick or umbrella, random thing lying around should be swiftly removed because it can cause a lot of harm. A 17 year old I went to school with was killed with a stick; they are more dangerous in general than a finger and are used in hunting etc.
Playing pooh sticks, drawing, den building etc. fine but when the play fighting starts that's not ok, but some parents don't seems to recognise that and don't intervene.

beansmum · 27/10/2013 07:23

I did claraschu! I'm thinking of buying it for cubs, it looks great.

OP - YABU. Teach your children (and the other kids) not to jab each other in the face with whatever they are playing with and then leave them to it.

LordPalmerston · 27/10/2013 07:26

The stick book. Does it involve whittling ?

Peacocklady · 27/10/2013 07:27

Oh and my ds isn't a play fighter but if someone's kid started brandishing a stick at him and their mum said 'not in the face' Jeremy, but go for your life on his body I'd be mightily pissed off!