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AIBU?

To wonder why people let their DC play with sticks?

123 replies

ladyandthechocolate · 27/10/2013 06:10

My DS1 and 2 are 3.5 and have a few good friends who they play with a lot in the park before and after preschool. I am friends with their parents too. Most days, two children in particular turn up with sticks that they proceed to run around and play fight with (until I take them away like the total spoilsport I am!).

I remember when I was little, a child being blinded by a stick and it has stuck with me ever since. Losing a eye is a terrible thing but most parents seem a bit blasé about the issue or else it just hasn't occurred to them that it could happen.

Maybe I'm being a bit paranoid? I don't let mine play with sticks and I don't want them being put at risk by others doing so as well.

OP posts:

Report

Peacocklady · 27/10/2013 07:28

'Not in the face Jeremy'

Peacocklady · 27/10/2013 07:30

'Not in the face Jeremy but go for your life on his body' FFS!! Needed to think through speech/not speech a bit more there..

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:34

No one is saying that you shouldn't intervene, Peacocklady, just that taking away the stick is not teaching them anything other than 'don't play with sticks when mummy can see'.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/10/2013 07:34

How did the parent react when you took the sticks off their children?

lymiemum · 27/10/2013 07:35

are you kidding?
whatelse isnt allowed near your children?
no lego incase they stand on it?
no bikes incase they fall off?
no roller blades.
no books...very high chance of a paper cut...
if you dont like it, remove your child. if you took something my child was PLAYING with off of him id be fuming.
from your posts none of the stick weilding children has even hurt another kid.

CreatureRetorts · 27/10/2013 07:35

I'm reading these posts, and some of the replies remind me of similar reactions to other more lethal things like guns "eg guns don't kill people, people do"

It's all very well letting 3 year olds jab each other with sticks but they're 3. They have little sense. So no harm in stopping the jabbing until they're older.

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:37

How are they going to be sensible when older if they haven't been taught from the start?

TEErickOrTEEreat · 27/10/2013 07:37

The point isn't that they jab each other with sticks. The point is that sticks can be used in all sorts of ways that don't have to include stabbing each other with them.

But, CR. It's true. A gun is nothing until someone pulls the trigger. A stick is fun until you get poked with it.

CreatureRetorts · 27/10/2013 07:40

The OP was talking about jabbing, read her other posts.

I do not let my ds (4) jab with sticks. I constantly tell him that's dangerous. If he doesnt listen and keeps it up, then the sticks goes for a bit.

I can clearly see that as he gets older, he understands more. For example I let him make toast using the toaster with me stood next to him. No way would he have been allowed a couple of years ago. As he get older I'll stand back a bit as he gets more sensible.

Same with sticks! It doesn't mean you cannot play with them at all.

Just be careful.

Peacocklady · 27/10/2013 07:42

I've seen parents not intervening in any way a lot and so has OP by the sounds of it. Just because you do doesn't mean everyone manages their dc's play fighting. Dc go to woodcraft folk and there are always kids doing it. Last time a boy was wafting his dad's crampons with massive spikes on the end around. I had to point out it was dangerous!

scarevola · 27/10/2013 07:44

Eye injuries from pointy things (including a number of things found around the home) are common enough to be worth guarding against and cn be devastating.

Children under 5ish shouldn't run carrying such things, and there should be no headshots when fighting (unless it's a light, round, smooth implement, which a random stick won't be).

Yes, it's exactly the same as 'don't run with scissors'.

Age appropriate safety advice occasionally comes across as po faced. But no, my 3 year olds were average, not prodigies. They neither knew the risks, nor had enough experience to apply sensible risk management measures. At that age, it was still my job.

It's sometimes worth having a thread which points out things obvious to some. Because common sense isn't always common, and reminders of hazards might be useful for some.

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:45

I didn't let mine jab with sticks, it doesn't mean you just ban sticks. It is harder work then just removing.

Meglet · 27/10/2013 07:47

The DC's and their school mates have a base under some trees at the park. OP you would freak when you saw the stick action going on.

Us parents do bellow at them if we notice any sticks being waved in faces, but we generally leave them to get on with it or they're so far into the trees we can't quite see what's going on anyway. On Friday DS hobbled out from the wood after a branch broke while climbing a tree, once I'd established nothing was broken we chalked it up as experience and he was sent back in.

LadyBigtoes · 27/10/2013 07:48

The story of my life as a mum would be very different without sticks! They have entertained my dc endlessly and at some stages we've had piles of them all over the house. We're lucky to have a hill and wood near us so if the dc are bored we go for a quick walk and the sticks do the rest :)

Play fighting is ok with me if everyone involved is consenting iyswim. If they wave sticks around dangerously near people's eyes etc (but without meaning to), several warnings and then stick removed. If anyone deliberately hits or pokes with a stick, I'd be very firm and remove the stick straight away. But these issues rarely come up - maybe because they've been playing with sticks so long and have finally learned the rules!

We do know a child who is violent and his behaviour with sticks worries me - I've been known to take a stick off him after him repeatedly hitting my dc and his parents not acting. It depends on the child I suppose but banni sticks altogether seems daft. It seems to me like one of those things it's better to learn to handle safely, than to never be allowed to touch.

CreatureRetorts · 27/10/2013 07:51

But are they 3 year olds Meglet? I wouldn't let my dc do that at 3, but once older then yes of course!

HicDraconis · 27/10/2013 07:52

It's impossible to stop my 2 picking up sticks!

Well, it isn't, if I told them not to they wouldn't. But they'd have nothing to use as a wand/magic cauldron stirring spoon/light sabre/sword/pretend heaven knows what/thing to draw in sand with.

The rules are that sticks large enough to use as walking aids are only used for hill walks. Sticks smaller are fair game. If someone gets hit with a stick, no more sticks for that particular walk.

I only had to ban them for a couple of walks before they started being more careful.

spanky2 · 27/10/2013 07:52

They love it. I have two boys and it has confirmed that boys are puppies .

SatinSandals · 27/10/2013 07:53

I was going to say that children and dogs have a lot in common, they both love sticks!

MrsWolowitz · 27/10/2013 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWolowitz · 27/10/2013 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZenNudist · 27/10/2013 08:03

I too would defend a child's right to play with sticks. Ds loves sticks.

I would also tell him not to wave or point in another child's face but its honestly never come up- with sticks. All sorts of other things have been waved at/near other kids but sticks he just likes to hold, lately it's a wand that any stick like object is supposed to represent.

I do sometimes worry that dogs wee on the sticks he's picking up, eg at the bottom of a tree by the side of my city's roads. I sometimes shout 'urgh dirty!' at random sticks if I feel there's a high chance of dog wee . Other than that you will often find me holding on to the odd spare stick ds has collected.

SunshineMMum · 27/10/2013 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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notnowbernard · 27/10/2013 08:08

The Stick was voted no.1 toy of all time in a poll a year or so ago

Whojamaflip · 27/10/2013 08:10

oh dear - we have given "the stick book" to nearly all of ds's friend as birthday presents over the last couple of years . . .

it is the most fantastic book and one of the first things to be packed when we go camping

SoupDragon · 27/10/2013 08:15

I do not let my ds (4) jab with sticks. I constantly tell him that's dangerous. If he doesnt listen and keeps it up, then the sticks goes for a bit

No one is saying you should let a child jab with a stick.

The OP said that children should not play with sticks.
She did not, it seems, try to tell them not to jab with sticks but stopped them doing anything with them. This is not the answer.

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