"50 of women who claim to be feminists ('it's abaht equality innit')"
Sigmund... feminism is about equality. That is the gist of its general dictionary definition (while of course it is a broad church). I don't know what you're trying to achieve with the above – to suggest people who think this have an accent and are therefore a bit dim? – or what?
Equality is what I bring to issues that affect me in everyday life – am I / women in general being treated in an unfair, unequal way? What would I need to do / ask for to make it equal (for me or other women)? Whether that means not changing my name (because the traditional expectations are unequal and unfair), insisting DP does his share of housework and childcare, or supporting charity campaigns abroad financially to do things like support women's education and freedoms in other places.
But because I see equality as the central issue, I don't support sexism against men – for example I would defend any man's right to be a nursery nurse, midwife and so on and try hard to avoid imposing the kind of subtle pressures of disapproval etc. that might make that harder for him. I would support any man who was suffering DV and encourage him to report it just as I would a woman.
Living in a patriarchy does not mean all men conspire to oppress; it means that the existing structures and social norm support and perpetuate gender inequality – the p means it relates to fatherhood, in other words that power imbalance being passed down. As with things like caste in India, you can legally abolish something (like unequal pay or various forms of discrimination) but it will persist as it's transmitted through socialisation, deeply held traditional beliefs and the millions of little social forces we experience every day – from raised eyebrows, to who parents choose to educate better, to a little girls' t-shirt that says "gorgeous" – while the boys' one says "space explorer". And so on.
A very, very significant proportion of the forces that keep women down come from women. It is often well-meaning and intended to protect women from being disapproved of or coming to grief. An example would be the message that women need to dress modestly and not get drunk on a night out because of the risk of rape, without a) requiring the same modesty or soberness of men or b) blaming men for rape. Plenty of women think this and some will even proclaim it in the Daily Mail.
A more extreme example would be FGM – often forced upon girls by women, who are worried and scared about the disapproval they or their daughter will face if they don't continue the tradition.
Yet when I think of FGM, I also worry about male circumcision and feel quite strongly that it is not something that it is OK to do to a small child who has no choice, for reasons of religion or tradition. In the interests of equality, I believe everyone should only, other than for a pressing medical reason, be circumcised when they are of an age to make that decision for themselves.
Your "man-hating" version of feminism makes no sense to me at all. I try to bring an ideal of equality to everything and that means equality with men, not against them.
Also, I think you have riled people on this thread because your posts have a tone that is both aggressive and defensive. They make you sound quite scared and angry, in the same way that many MRA seem to fear and hate women. It is one thing to discuss what feminism means to different people and on MN we do do that, a lot. It is another to belittle and sneer as in the quote above.