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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand my mother?

29 replies

wellfuckit · 26/10/2013 23:28

Name-changed but I am a regular.

Obviously, there's a back-story to this but this is a brief synopsis and I am begging for help because I am acutaly pretty distressed about all of this...

I stood up to mum and her undermining me with my parenting and as usual it went tits-up. She decided she wanted to drag up the past - Im gathering from her response that she hoped to get a different-than-usual response from me. She asked for an honest answer to the question, how do I feel about my childhood. I tried to leave the room and she wouldn't let me so I answered as truthfully and neutrally as I could (though how does one be neutral when one is faced with the memory of feeling like a blight on her mother's landscape?) She didn't like my answer so she showed me and the kidlets the door at which point I lost my shit due to the fact that she was choosing to ruin A's half term because she was not happy with me. She told me this evening that its obvious I don't like her, shes waited since I was a small child to show her the love and respect she deserves, and since she's not going to get that she no longer wants anything to do with me. I pointed out that the way I felt as a child had more to do with her actions than mine and that I wanted a relationship with her, I wanted her to see her grandchildren and that couldn't we leave it in the past. She said she was sick of people not liking her and that we should not have contact anymore and that she might see the grandkids from time-to-time. Im speechless to be honest....my dad hasnt even bothered calling me.

What do I do? This is just a drop in the ocean that is my relationship with my mother, and I realise that this is just from one side but seriously what do I do? I dont' know where to go from here...

OP posts:
IDugUpADiamond · 27/10/2013 18:14

She'll always be the victim however hard you try to keep the peace. You won't ever be able to do anything right. It will get to a point where you won't even know how to act around her and every single word that comes out of your mouth will be misconstrued. I know this situation well Sad.

HissyFucker · 27/10/2013 18:59

Yanbu,
If you want to maintain a relationship with your dad, make it on your territory and on your terms.

Your mother will create a drama whatever you do.

You can't win, stop playing!

And as you know from my own input to the stately homes thread today i'm not brilliant at taking my own medicine, but I am trying! :)

springylippy · 27/10/2013 19:13

It's a complicated relationship, mother and daughter (or can be). She sounds narcissistic eg "shes waited since I was a small child to show her the love and respect she deserves" (that's not your job! especially as a young child! Funny how, when they have a go at you, they swipe your entire life and being into the bin..). It was her job to show you the love and respect you deserve, not the other way around.

But... I'm wondering if she is fucked up by her own parenting (you suggest as much). If you've not had a good model, or not processed a poor model, you'll visit the same on your kids. It must have stung that her mother gave you what she herself should have had from her own mother. Just saying.

Yes she's a drama queen and it's all about her... but I wonder if she has and does love you, in her fucked up way. Narcissists don't slog for anyone else, only themselves. They advertise a version of the real deal but you don't have to look too closely to see that it's all an illusion ie nothing actually materialises for all the talk. It sounds like she did slog for you. But poor form to let you know. It's in the job description to slog for your kids, nothing especial about it.

Your dad is an adult and he can do something about their relationship - there's plenty of support and info on hand, it's not hard to find. So don't waste your sorrows on him (things are not necessarily what they appear, too). It may be that an old theme is being repeated ie it's all. her. fault. (to be thinking that your 'poor dad' has a rough deal with her would play into this) and she naturally kicks against this. She sounds like an emotionally impoverished sort, desperately looking for validation. Sounds like she looked to her own kids (not necessarily as fucked up as it sounds) but that's a huge mistake.

I wouldn't throw her out entirely. You may have to accept that she is a damaged sort and will never deliver the full goods.

OR she is a complete naricissist; in which case you're on a hiding to nothing. Have you had any therapy around this relationship?

I give my mum a wide berth these days but she's old and I couldn't cut her off (she is not a full-blown narcissist, 'only' a severely damaged individual who has and does love me in her fucked up way). She did the best she could with what she had and I am grateful for that. Her very fragile sense of self wouldn't be able to bear any suggestion that she hurt and damaged me, it would destroy her. I can honestly see (now!) that she pushed the boat out as far as she was able. I've learnt that I'm not going to get what I want (and never had) and I'm actually grateful for the crumbs. It was the best she could give. Mind, I've had acres of therapy around it all and I'm a grown up now so I have to make a life out of the square inch I was handed from my parents (ok, square foot then).

springylippy · 27/10/2013 19:22

That said, boundaries are important. You know what is and isn't acceptable so enforce boundaries around those. Only don't present an argument to her, try to discuss it with her, hoping she'll get it. She probably won't.

(You can enforce boundaries without being horrid btw)

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