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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

High heels. Are they a conspiracy?

296 replies

CrockedPot · 25/10/2013 20:49

So today I have spent eight hours in toe pinching, arch stretching, high heeled shoes. At work. By the end of the day I was glaring in envy at the men in their round toed, laced up, low heeled 'ergonomically designed' soled shoes, while I minced around like someone who had their feet bound in some medieval torture chamber. AIBU in thinking we put style over fucking comfort every single day and don't think a thing about it?? What are we doing?? (or is just me, wearing the wrong style of pretty, painful shoe?)

OP posts:
kentishgirl · 24/02/2014 12:06

'they lengthen the leg give you height elegance and confidence'

odd reasons

'they lengthen the leg give you height' - so do stilts. Why do you need more height? Nothing wrong with being tall, or short, or anything in between.

'elegance' - few women can walk elegantly in heels. Most clump about like Tina Turner. You can walk elegantly in flats - ballet flats come from ballet dancers, and they are about the most elegant walkers ever.

'confidence' - confidence comes from within. It has nothing to do with wearing a certain type of shoe.

theimposter · 24/02/2014 12:38

Thanks Grennie; I broached the subject this morning and he was fine actually as long as I get a good price for them. (He moaned a lot about how much they cost at the time!) I will miss them as they really are beautiful shoes, very sexy and timeless but seems fairly pointless owning them if I can't actually walk for more than 20 minutes in them - expensive item just to sit in a box and gaze at wistfully wishing I was 4 stone lighter with feet of titanium...

Suzannewithaplan · 24/02/2014 12:39

What they do is put you in the 'lordosis' posture which in the animal kingdom signals willingness to mate.

From wiki:

The anthropologist, Helen Fisher, speculates that when a human female wears high-heeled footwear the buttocks thrust out and the back arches into a pose that simulates lordosis behavior, which is why high heels are considered "sexy".[

GoldenGytha · 24/02/2014 12:59

I haven't worn heels for over 20 years, probably nearer 25, it's flats all the way for me.

I am going to a wedding in a couple of weeks (my first one in 19 years) and I refuse to even consider wearing heels, I'll be wearing a pair of comfy flat ballerina pumps which is all I ever wear, apart from flat boots.

KatnipEvergreen · 24/02/2014 13:01

I am someone who "doesn't do heels", but wore these on Saturday night to a do:

Sparkly sandals

and danced for hours in them, and my feet were not at all sore. The key thing is they are not stilettos - about 2.5-3" heels and wide enough at the front - having slightly buniony feet (from the way my feet/legs are rather than from wearing tight shoes). They actually remind me of heeled shoes I wore to do ballroom dancing as a kid so great dancing shoes! There were some ladies there with very high heels. I have tried, but one wedding I stood in them for five minutes then just put ballet flats on.

I like pretty shoes, and I think some outfits benefit from heeled footwear. But there are heels...and heels. Also I'm 5'7.5" and DH is 5'11" so anything higher than the ones above make me taller than him anyway.

So if I do wear heels, they HAVE to be comfortable. The key is not too high, and the shoe being wide enough across the front.

ouryve · 24/02/2014 13:03

Bad for you and and don't think they even look that good.

KatnipEvergreen · 24/02/2014 13:09

As for at work, I've only ever kept heels (then again not that high) under my desk to pootle round the office in. I'd always commute in trainers. I've never found any heels that cope well with tube, train and walking.

ouryve · 24/02/2014 13:09

I live near Durham, btw. I can walk around the city centre on a busy day and maybe see only one or two pairs of heels being worn. The wearer usually looks like she wishes she hadn't. Most people are wearing sensible and practical flats with a good sole to help them negotiate the hills and cobbles without breaking something.

KatnipEvergreen · 24/02/2014 13:11

Also see wedding venues: a lot of pretty churches and houses/hotels/castles have...cobbles around them.

specialsubject · 24/02/2014 13:13

the sooner women get the brains to stop suffering like this, the better.

no-one looks elegant in high heels. I've seen a couple of Graham Norton shows where he is helping some talentless bimbo stagger twenty feet to the stage because she is wearing shoes in which she can't walk. The pregnant duck look is never 'elegant' on anyone. Couple it with the silly model walk and the pained expression and it is triply awful.

if you wear shoes that don't allow you to walk, you are a laughing stock. Doesn't mean they have to be dead flat, but do use brains, ladies. BTW ballet flats are not suitable for real life either - you need a small heel to walk on pavements. As in about half an inch or so. (said my physio)

projectbabyweight · 24/02/2014 13:23

I think high heels are beginning to die out actually. Thank goodness.

Thetallesttower · 24/02/2014 13:29

I wouldn't compare wearing a two inch heel with foot binding myself, I'm sitting here with a nice pair of boots on, no bunions, no back issues, no problems at all (apart from being a short-arse).

Flat shoes can also be bad for the health, ballet flats esp, as well as trainers which can put a strain on the feet too (as well as being smelly and synthetic, I prefer leather heeled shoes).

I do agree that very high heels or heels which look painful/uncomfortable look terrible though, as do flat Uggs where the wearer can hardly lift their feet but has to shuffle along.

I've worn heels all my adult life, but mysteriously also managed to wear walking shoes, go up mountains, ski etc.

My own small sample tells me that flat shoe wearers also have bunions, back pain etc however there might be more of them so in no way is this scientific. I thought some podiatrists recommended a small heel though? (or is this apocryphal?)

Thetallesttower · 24/02/2014 13:33

project I've noticed the younger generation at my place at work pretty much all wear flats in the daytime (but some swap to the very high heeled look at night which must really be an uncomfortable switch).

I wear 1 1/2 inch to 2 1/2 inch heels pretty much all the time except for exercising, but I'm aware this is not on trend. Lots of women my age say they like my shoes though!

runningonwillpower · 24/02/2014 13:41

Nothing looks sexier than a woman walking comfortably and confidently.

If you can do that in tight pinchy shoes that show up your bunions, then go for it.

Thetallesttower · 24/02/2014 13:46

Why would you get tight pinchy shoes anyway? I always get generous sized comfy ones!

I'm starting to think some of the flat shoe wearers are a bit defensive on this thread- if they are more comfortable, look better and make you look sexier, what's the issue?

Stinklebell · 24/02/2014 13:49

None of the heels I own are tight or pinchy, nor do they show off my bunions. I just buy the right size Confused

I don't wear them often these days as they make my feet ache, but I wish I could scoot around in them like I used to

PoirotsMoustache · 24/02/2014 14:01

My wedding shoes are completely stunning (IMO, obviously), but they are soo high I shall have to practice walking in them before hand. I did look for similar ones with a smaller heel, but I couldn't find any that I liked enough. I shall try to put up a picture or a link. I won't be at all offended if no-one else likes them.

PoirotsMoustache · 24/02/2014 14:04

Mine are black, as the blue don't go, although the blue are gorgeous.

halfwildlingwoman · 24/02/2014 14:12

I hate stiletto and very high heels. Never wear them. Was bullied into a pair when I was a bridesmaid and lost half a toenail. (Honestly, not exaggerating.) But I sometimes wear boots with a wedge heel, where most of your weight is supported properly, not placed on a tiny surface area. This sort of thing. They are practical and give me a little more height which I do appreciate. (I'm 5,4)

www.flylondonshop.co.uk/womens/wedges/yava

bottlenecker · 24/02/2014 14:15

I never wear high unless I am going out dressed up for the evening and even then I put some ballet pumps in my bag

runningonwillpower · 24/02/2014 14:18

None of the heels I own are tight or pinchy, nor do they show off my bunions. I just buy the right size

I don't wear them often these days as they make my feet ache, but I wish I could scoot around in them like I used to

Haven't you just supported the point I was making?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/02/2014 14:20

I think EVERYBODY should wear shoes that are comfortable for them.

Some women can wear heels and be very comfortable, they can run in them too. Some women can't wear them comfortably so I hope they don't wear them.

I like heels - platform heels and high wedges in particular. I don't stuff my feet into them, I buy the shoes that fit my feet. I have, like some other women, suffered temporary insanity and bought shoes that are so beautiful but not fit to wear. I don't make a habit of it though.

Why is there always the need for making this about gender at all? You do it in such a way that you make me feel scrutinised and generalised... by my own sex. How is that in any way positive?

Surely it's about feet - hamstrings, calves and any other bits of you that are affected by what you wear.

Shall we have a rant about waxing again? Must be a couple of weeks since the last one...

Stinklebell · 24/02/2014 14:23

running erm, no. Confused

ThatBloodyWoman · 24/02/2014 14:27

I think less women wear them now.I certainly don't and I'm pretty vertically challenged at 5ft.

I can't say a good word for them.You can't run in them, they hurt and very few women can actually walk in them without looking ridiculous.

Tbh I am amazed that in this day and age any woman still wears them.