High heels. Are they a conspiracy?

[CrockedPot]

So today I have spent eight hours in toe pinching, arch stretching, high heeled shoes. At work. By the end of the day I was glaring in envy at the men in their round toed, laced up, low heeled 'ergonomically designed' soled shoes, while I minced around like someone who had their feet bound in some medieval torture chamber. AIBU in thinking we put style over fucking comfort every single day and don't think a thing about it?? What are we doing?? (or is just me, wearing the wrong style of pretty, painful shoe?)

I love my heels, but I vary my shoes a lot. But some clothes do sit better on me with them. My feet sometimes hurt by the end of the day but I have have worse feet & blisters from pumps rubbing and sandals.
There is one group of men at work who I secretly feel a wee bit nervous, (not that I would let it show) when I have to meet with them. I always make sure I wear my heels that day as I am 5"8 and being a bit taller gives me more confidence. Childish I know, but I like that I'm on their level and that 2 have to look up. Ha!

Could you be any more patronising, Scarletohello? Will you not just accept that they are comfortable for some women? It isn't just young women who wear them and ALL women have the same access to health information that you have.

This next bit is not levied at you specifically as there have been quite a few 'sisters' on the thread trying to put other women down.

Your comment that heels are seen as feminine and sexy could be applied to just about any kind of womens' underwear... stockings and suspenders, bras, knickers or any type of clothing actually, skirts, dresses, coats. Come to think of it, any type of grooming activity - waxing, hairdressing, applying makeup... The list goes on, doesn't it? So does the never-ending chastisement of women for daring to choose how to dress. Of course, they're all doing it for men and can never, ever be dressing to make themselves feel good. Even when it's protested, non-compliant women are not to be believed. Perhaps MN could have a 'we believe you not really' campaign for this too?

The number of tedious lectures delivered on this thread is a sad indictment of the boredom of some third wave 'feminists' content themselves with being very busy sweating the small stuff.

I guess the slapping down of women by women bothers me more than I thought.

I just look upwards and give 'em the evil eye Name....

My dh is over 6ft and if we have a hug I get to test if his underarm deodorant works.....

Pressurised to wear them?
Bwahahahaha.

Can't stand high heels and since I had two prolapsed discs there's not a snowflake's that I'll ever wear them again. They do hellish things to your spine and posture. At 5ft 6', I'm tall enough. I dress to please me, not random men in the street anyway.

I wear them on nights out and also in the summer (I am a boots girl in the winter, flat and horsey) I can walk in them fine and don't find them at all uncomfortable

I am 5ft 1" and wearing them means I can join the normal people and get seen at the bar! they also make my legs look great

ThatBloodyWomen... That's because I have some very comfy high heels and a pair of very uncomfortable safety boots. Safety boots are still very much designed for men and they're really heavy.

I will concede that I have a pair of platform stilettos from M&S, black patent, that I cannot run in. They're beautiful, but not for running in or hill-walking.

It's been interesting reading what other women like wearing. I had a pair of Birkenstocks and fell down the stairs in them; would have been the same with flip-flops I think - you just get used to things.

High heeled wedges from Next are some of my favourites; really, really comfortable - and I can outrun any London traffic warden in them.

I think Lying that I'm at a disadvantage with wide feet and very little arch (I'm sounding more like a hobbit by the minute...) so it's particularly uncomfortable to wear heels.

YY to safety boots being designed for men.

Possibly a better focus for women's footwear discussion than arguing among the ranks about heels, I agree!

Lyingwitch.
Third wave feminism actually argues what you are saying.
But I don't agree with it because we are socialised into acting and feeling certain things. That's a fact. There's no use pretending we just all happen to want to feel that our worth is in our appearance.
The fact that to 'feel good about ourselves' we are willing to go through physical pain is absurd! There has to be more at play here. Would you defend corsets and foot binding? It's the same!
Someone saying that you do things because of patriarchy isn't to insult you, you are the victim! It is attempting to make you see the how the media and sexist socialisation affects us all.

Lying - Why is there always the need for making this about gender at all?

Because are the men wearing them? Why not?

I wear heels very occasionally when I need to look 'smart'. I wore them last week at a funeral and, while they're the comfiest pair of heels I've ever come across and I managed fine when I was out, I was woken up with cramp in my feet about every half hour when I went to bed that night.

I resent the fact that 'smart' for a woman usually involves wearing heels (and make up, but that's another thread). I think it's ok to both wear heels on occasion to fit in and make life a bit easier AND to question why such stupid fucking footwear exists for one sex only and is lauded as the sexy smart 'choice'.

itsbetter... Do you know what 'pain' is, really? Do you think waxing constitutes pain? Do you think it's anything akin to barbaric foot-binding practices in China? I really can't fathom that you'd make a parallel between corsets and foot-binding because you can't. You could IF women (adult women) elected to have their feet bound. They don't because it has to be done in childhood to be 'effective'. How is that the same as an adult woman (and, in the shops I go to, I have seen no corsets for 'girls') choosing to wear a corset.

I wear corsets when I feel like it. I have about six. My choice. I do not find them painful. If I did, I wouldn't wear them. Do you understand that? Do you believe me when I tell you that my pain sensors work perfectly or do you think that I'm popping Vicodin or similar in order to 'preen my appearance'? Of course you don't believe me... why would you? I'm only a woman...

You can think what you like about my reasons for wearing what I want to. If you like to think that I've been 'socially conditioned' then you must. Nothing I say will change your view because such a fixed view has been very firmly entrenched.

I don't find the notion of 'patriarchy' half as insulting as I find women who are so insistent in their narrow-mindedness as to assume that women who do not toe the 'party line' are absurd, sheep-like, unenlightened, media-blinkered or any other unlovely term that is used as a label for non-compliant women.

Your misuse of the word 'victim' makes me shudder but then perhaps you've been conditioned to use and abuse it this way? There are so many things that irritate me about that but I'll assume that you can't think for yourself and not hold it against you.

Men do wear them, Plenty. Not many, admittedly, but they do. Perhaps pick another item of clothing or 'appearance item' that men would typically wear that doesn't lend itself to comfort and isn't generally worn by women. A toupee?

'Smart footwear' does not equate to heels, it equates to 'formal' or 'dress shoes' or does to me anyway. What height of heel would you be referring to? Why would you wear shoes that are uncomfortable? I would not.

Are you saying that you wouldn't have a job unless you wear heels? Wouldn't progress in your career? You mention make-up as well. Same question for that then. I imagine your HR department would support you if you feel this is an issue.

You have the choice of what to put on your feet, don't place the blame for your poor choice on anybody but yourself.

What's wrong with the word victim?
It's silly to think that people fighting for women's right is more insulting that patriarchy... Which causes the pay gap, low conviction rates for sexual assault!
Corsets are not comfortable. High heels are painful for the majority of women. Both restrict movement . Plastic surgery is painful, dangerous and incredibly expensive. All in the pursuit of beauty. What are the benefits of these things? Wear them if you like that is up to you ofc, but don't pretend you aren't socially conditioned to care so much about your appearance.

I work in an office and have 3 pairs of high stiletto heels under my desk which I stride about on carpet from office to meeting room. As a petite short arse, I quite enjoy the extra height and feel more in the professional mould - the way some people dress in their day clothes rather than PJs to work from home. I don't think it hampers my walking - I have no problems keeping up with my flat-heeled colleagues. I am sure I can run in them but I won't because it will kill the stilettos.

I have fun with my work clothes so why not my heels too! My heels are expensive comfortable and fit like a second skin.

For commuting, I am in ballerinas, sensible trainers or flattish boots. My stilettos stay in the office.

Ohhh are you one of those choicychoice people who believes everything you do is your very own unique choice that appeared in your mind as an immaculate, untainted-by-culture, unique choicy thought that You Alone thought of?

I do all sorts of shit to get by and not have to fight every battle. Some of it even makes me feel good - we all like approval. Doesn't mean these practices shouldn't be questioned even though it can be uncomfortable to think about why we do them and the effects they have on our lives.

A toupee How many men wear one of those? I wore a wig once. It itched a bit but it didn't damage my skeleton.

You can judge a woman's character by the height of her heels.

Well that's clearly bollocks unless you think women's characters are changeable on a daily (or even hourly) basis.

itsbetterthanabox... Arguing about who wears what on a chatboard does not equal 'fighting for women's rights'. The latter has a purpose, the former not so much. I don't like the word 'victim' being bandied about and slapped on anybody who doesn't agree with the construct of social conditioning as a catch-all.

YOU don't find corsets comfortable. My grandmother wore one for about fifty years because of her back. She was uncomfortable without it. I wear one because I like to - sometimes. I'm neither forced nor coerced into it and it restricts my movement not at all. Are you confusing them with straightjackets or something?

High heels are painful for SOME women. Depends on the heel, depends on the feet. My heels are not painful for me to wear. Perhaps I had my feet bound as a child and never noticed?

Plastic surgery is risky as is any operation. You didn't specify 'cosmetic surgery'. I had a breast reduction when I was 15 years old. That was for health reasons; risk of developing a spinal curve due to the size and being grabbed by men all the time. I don't know where that fits into your little box but it certainly wasn't in the pursuit of beauty.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; some people think heels are beautiful, others do not. Therefore, it can only be down to the individual as they can't be certain of the reception of their 'beautification', can they?

Is there a difference between 'conditioning' and 'convention'? Do I wear clothes at all because I'm conditioned? Because it's convention? What?

Please answer a question... Why is it so important for you to dismiss and diminish (non-compliant) women as nothing more than airhead-conditioned? I don't speak for anybody but myself and I don't belong - or want to belong - to a group of thinking that appears so 'Borg-like'.

YANBU - I have a complete love / hate relationship with my heals.

I don't wear shoes that hurt. I buy shoes that a) fit, b)fit with how I'll use them, c) are good quality and finally d) make me feel good wearing them. I don't buy many shoes but love the ones I have.

I miss strutting in my painful heels! Now I get less of a blister and more of the excruciating sciatica and back pain that comes with a fucked back. I have however found Fly Boots which make me feel a little more trendy if not still quite short.

I've never worn shoes that I wouldn't be able to run away in. Shoes must be comfortable.

Plenty... I'm assuming you meant to be cutting and rude but it's lost on me as I don't understand much of your post.

Going back to your shoes... if you don't have control of which ones to put on then I don't know what to say. I have no idea what practices you're questioning but if you think they need questioning then of course you should.

I'm not the slightest bit uncomfortable thinking about why I do things and what they mean in my life. I just don't believe in slapping a whopping great big label on everything I think and do, finding some like-minded chums and stuffing myself into 'ideal' boxes. I care not a jot whether other people want to impose that on themselves but please don't apply it to me.

Now, as you've not indicated your heel height, I'm assuming that you no longer wish to talk about shoes?

I'm not diminishing or dismissing. I have and would not call anyone an airhead. I feel the same pressures! There is clearly a huge amount of pressure on women to care about , worry about, spend time and money on their appearance and I feel the same pressure. I just think it's a positive thing to be aware that we are being socialised and then hopefully see that there are other options.

I wear some kind of heel for most of the time (usually Geox boots similar to these ones: www.efootwear.eu/product-eng-48377-Boots-GEOX-D-Marian-2-ST-C-D24R8C-00043-C9999.html). They are very comfortable - the trick, I think, is having a relatively thick heel.

That said, you need to find well-made shoes, and they are inevitably rather expensive.